Move Over Darjeeling

Shades Of Doris Day, Eh?

Conrad, your humble scribe – me, for the slow of intellect – is unsure whether or not you’re going to be reading this tonight, due to the unfortunate intrusion of that most unpleasant of things – Real Life.  I am, you see, on a shift that does not finish until 7 post meridian, with at least a 10 minute journey to the bus stop and a reckless gamble that the bus will actually turn up.

     Such will be the pattern all this week, in fact, so a touch of improvisation is called for.  We may be seeing the resurrection of the 2013/2014/2015/2016 historical posts early of a morn, as this is the easiest way for me to deal with a late shift.  It would also give you, gentle reader, a chance to review the development of the blog over time.  Psychiatric insights like this are rare.

  Now, after that fascinating quick trip around the world of work, shall we escort the gibbering motley into the open air*?

A gibbering motley (it says here)

More Of The Man

The Man From Uncle, that is.  Yes, the 2015 film iteration, not one of the cobbled-together Sixties films.  Now, as I mentioned, one of the more amusing things about this film is the casting of Armie Hammer as Ilya Kuryakin; David McCallum was quite slim and trim, but Armie is a mass of muscle.  Further to that – Art?

     Here in the Pond, “Sambo” is an unpleasant racial epithet, yet in the Sinister Union or Russia, it’s a form of unarmed combat that their armed forces love to practice.  More props to the production team for this detail.

     Then there’s Ilya’s gun.  I couldn’t get a good shot from the DVD itself, so I’m going to cheat and use an image from the Internet Movie Firearms Database.  They make the point that this is NOT the Uncle special as used in the television version – different magazine housing.  They also put forward the theory that this KGB Special is the inspiration for the Uncle one.  This makes sense, as the film does attempt to explain the origins of UNCLE.

     So – barrel extension with silencer, extended magazine, stock and telescopic sights.  Or, how to turn a pistol into a rather rubbish carbine.

Your Flies Are Undone

There is some furore in the press about a postulated remake of the seminal novel “Lord of the Flies”, except with girls rather than boys.

     Hmmm.  A load of scantily-clad teenaged schoolgirls romping around on a desert island.

     I wonder what demographic they’re aiming for here?

“On The Beach”

Sorry, couldn’t resist after the above.  This is apropos the list I posted yesterday, 21 Post Apocalyptic Novels, and I did annotate against OTB, saying it was very very depressing.

SPOILERS AHOY!!

     Essentially, all life in the Northern Hemisphere is extinct, killed either directly by nuclear attack or the fallout which now blankets that half of the globe.  Hmmm, not sure that the Rule Of Seven would allow for that, but we’ll allow it as poetic licence.

     The reason why Hom. Sap. blots itself out is explained by Neville Shute, the author, as due to the sheer prevalence of cheap nuclear weapons – I think even Albania ends up with a nuclear arsenal.  (and if you don’t use ‘em, you lose ‘em).  Serendipitously, the plot McGuffin for TMFU was that Prof. Teller had invented a new process to make lots and lots of cheap uranium.

     There you go, proof that everything is connected to everything else.

You can't deny it's on the beach

Shakespoke

Don’t think I haven’t forgotten about you, Windbag.  The torment continues!  I’ll teach you to make school and college considerably less enjoyable.  Let rip with the cutting satire –

“ A man can die but once.”

That’s obvious, you dunce.

If he died multiply

He’d be a zombie, wouldn’t he?

     Take that, Barb of Avon.  Come to think of it, doesn’t a zombie king show up in “Hamlet”?  Something like that.  Well, that’s the Barf of Avon for you, nicking other people’s literary ideas – Max Brooks ought to sue.

Meanwhile, Back In Dangerland –

Haha, back with the – ah – er – yes, perhaps gleeful exuberance is not quite the attitude, as this is being typed at work.  Stern sober reflection, that’s what I’m expressing.  Stern.  Sober**.

     ACETONITRILE!!  Another winning entry from the list of “Extremely Hazardous Substances”.  This stuff is really deadly.  It is not simply toxic and explosive, it produces hydrogen cyanide when it combusts, which is not something you want to be breathing in, and it can explode on contact with oxidants.  Basically, it’s just itching to explode and poison you, after poisoning you in the first place.

THINGS EXPLODING!

  

*  Don’t worry, it still has a personal chaperone.

**  Of course.  We are at work, after all.