Going Off With A Bang

And A Nuclear One, At That
If you have read this blog over any length of time, then you are soundly aware of your humble scribe's worryingly detailed knowledge of nuclear weaponry.  This means that he cannot resist commenting on recent events in the Far East, both to inject a little realism and also to show off.  Hey, I'm only human*! 

Yeah, human.  Like this.  Am I right?

     Firstly, none of the Big Five nuclear nations - South Canada, the Ruffians, the Populous Dictatorship, France and The Pond of Eden (as it's raining here today) - will be happy at the Sulky Fat Lad showing off his alleged fusion warhead.  Art?  Less coal more picture!

Spot the only fat man in Norkland

     It looks as if assembled by monkeys with mallets, yet it does seem like a viable design, which is why the Big 5 won't be happy.  For obvious reasons, accurate open-source data on thermonuclear weapons design is very hard to come by, meaning that the above is a whole lot more now out in the open than anyone who already possesses the big bang bombs is pleased about (I can avoid the euphimism "foofoodilly" as I'm not typing this in work).
     IF - and I emphasise that a lot - that is actually a real warhead.
     "Ah, that old canard about the camera never lying, eh?" I hear you comment.
     Wellllll - it might indeed be merely a big tin can.  The reason, you see, is that the subterranean detonation on 3rd September was in the region of 100 kilotons, which sounds impressive, yet which is rather small for a fusion explosion.  There are two other possibilities:  firstly, it was a "fizzle", or an incomplete fusion detonation; secondly, it was only a boosted fission device.
     I can see your eyes glazing from here, so we shall interrupt the physics lecture as I understand not everyone is as big on nuclear weapons as your modest artisan.

The Fat Man atom bomb
(Nothing to do with the Sulky Fat Lad this time)

     Well, that's us tip-toeing around that normally prescribed subject, Current Affairs.  Shall we throw the motley out of the porthole and see if it floats?

Darwin Awards: The Early Years
If you recall, yesterday I touched on those lightly endowed with sanity, due to a reference in "Cocktail Time" to the psychiatric hospital at Colney Hatch.
     Enter Franz Reichelt.
     Franz was a tailor, which is of course the obvious qualification for INVENTING PARACHUTES!  For Franz had a dream, you see, a dream that someday aircraft pilots would be able to hurl themselves from a stricken aircraft wearing a Reichelt parachute suit, and drift lightly back to earth, light as thistledown.
     Now, a sensible person would test this suit first, preferably using dummies, and Franz did, to no success.  Deciding that he needed a taller platform for his tests, he looked for a structure of considerable height.
     To repeat that phrase:  now, a sensible person - would choose to do this over water if they were risking their own life.  Or, if doing the test over solid ground, to use a dummy.
     Not Franz!  Oh no.  He spurned both safety and sanity, got to the first level of the Eiffel Tower, and jumped.
     To his death.  His wretched suit failed utterly and he left an impact crater six inches deep.
     Even if it had worked, his suit was so ridiculously bulky and awkward that no pilot would ever have worn it.  Art?

He's in there somewhere ...

Why Steve Fellows Is A Genius
Yes, yet another attempt to pimp my favourite band evah, The Comsat Angels.  Steve was lead guitatist, singer and lyricist, and one of his lines came back to me with a vengeance on Wednesday.  Art?

Extra large so you can soak in it
(see what I did there?)

     And the line was "The rain hung in sheets from the sky".  Above you can see these very same sheets detaching and collapsing to the ground.  As I took this picture I huddled under the protective canopy of the Co-Op on Church Street, hoping that the vertically descending Atlantic would slacken soon, or I'd be swimming to work.

Why The Ruffians Have Good Taste
Luckily for your humble hack, my current employer really doesn't mind if one works up a bit of scrivel when the phones are quiet, so I do.  Conrad's caution does lead him to use that term "foofoodilly" rather than THERMONUCLEAR WARHEAD, as the latter might trip a few alarm bells in IT.
     Anyway, another photo - Art, put down your bowl of coal.

BOOJUM! - big in the Northern hemisphere

     Generally, the darker the green, the more numerous the visitors.
     BOOJUM! - you know it makes sense**.








*  This is debatable <the horrid truth courtesy Mister Hand>
**  Well, it does sometimes.