I suppose I need to quantify that one a little, as those of you who live in those blighted, benighted lands that lie beyond the shores of the Allotment of Eden may not be familiar with Typhoo, which is a brand of tea here.
The Allotment ("The Pond" if it's raining) |
Tea! Indian Or Chinese, It's Still Oh-So British
Conrad - thanking the muses for a double dose of bus-powered inspiration - saw another poster on a bus rear** featuring Typhoo.
Now, Typhoo is part of the British cultural landscape and has been for over a century. This hide-in-plain-sight factor has blinded everyone except Conrad to the real question about Typhoo: where the hell does the name come from?
No! It's not derived from a Typhoon. As Darling Daughter observed, "Who would buy a tea called "Typhoon"?"
A quick resort to Google-fu revealed that the name derives from Chinese, the word for doctor pronounced "Dai-Fu".
BOOJUM! Admit it - the world would be a duller place without it.
- this way you get a valuable insight into the creative process as it works in the mind of your humble scribe. Also, it ups the word count, yet that is but a by-product*.
Well, something's brewing here. A storm at tea? |
Ooo-er, Matron!
I refer, of course, to those classic examples of British culture, the 'Carry On' films, which are compulsory viewing for any who seek to gain British citizenship*. They were full of smutty innuendo, which obviously - obviously! - we cannot replicate here on BOOJUM! as we cherish our SFW status. This status is not something we are going to risk, so when you read a title like "Long Rod Penetrator", you'd better believe we are talking technically about anti-tank ammunition.
Sic. Sick! |
"Can you hurry up, aged typist?" I hear you quibble. "We need to shell the peas before 'Strictly' comes on."
Pausing only to condemn your choice of televisual entertainment, I shall explicate.
As you know, Conrad is passionately, possibly worryingly, interested in things that go BANG. Hence all the mentions of nuclear and thermonuclear weapons, yet how I DO NOT HAVE ANY OF THEM, MI5, UNIT AND SPECTRUM*. So, it was with an air of surprise that, last week, I came across the "Continuous Rod SAM".
I know, I know - it sounds rather like the pseudonym of a actor in the <ahem> adult film industry, but No! It is a variety of warhead as used when trying to shoot down aircraft. Art?
Rod doing his thing |
That above demonstrates what a CRS is and does. At heart, it is an explosive core, around which are arrayed a pattern of metal rods welded together in a zig-zag pattern, although when inert they are so close together that you can't see any seams or welds.
When fired as a SAM (Surface to Air Missile**) warhead, the CRS warhead will detonate if it gets into close enough proximity to said aircraft. Now, aircraft may look big and butch and bulletproof -
Ah - that idiot Art at work. Excuse me - |
<sounds of Tazer cannon being used, smells of flesh getting ionized>
TO REPEAT! Said aircraft may look to be big and invulnerable, yet they are most definitely not. The CRS expands at frightening speed, into a giant metal hoop that, if it hits said aircraft, will cut it in half. Art?
Unmanned drone jet target, in case you were worried |
How To Put It?
My friend Mandy has just posted on FB that she was stung by a wasp whilst out in the garden collecting apples. She is regularly bitten by the blood-sucking fiends that inhabit her particular corner of the hellish Prestwich radioactive deserts. Obviously she went out without the council-recommended protective gear. Art?
Mandy and Trev get ready to mow the lawn |
More practical than a hoe in Prestwich |
* Honest.
** No, I don't know why they don't call it a "STAM".
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