You? You don't count. Or, only so much as you boost my traffic. Sorry to be so harsh, but there it is, raw reality not bothered by any sugar-coating. If you can still your sobbing, we shall proceed.
I am going to begin with a picture. Art?
This is, as you may have gathered, from the war diary of the 6th Infantry Brigade Canadian Machine Gun Company, hereby contracted to 6thMG because that's a lot of words to type out.
It stands as a stern corrective to those who think that life in the First Unpleasantness consisted of sitting in a trench for months on end. These chaps moved around a bit, as you can see. You can also see their British American-ness in the trench names so bestowed - "Saskatchewan", which as we all know, is a town in British America*. Take note, also, of the amount of ammunition they expend on a nightly 'shoot' on the 9th of May - 34,000 rounds. This amounts to 136 boxes of Vickers gun ammunition, which - see the entry for 8th May - had to be carried up to the gun positions by the soldiers themselves. You or I might struggle to carry two such boxes (one in each hand or other appropriate end-of-limb descriptor) , but since these chaps were British Americans, they might well have used a tumpline to add another four or so as a backpack.
"I say," I hear you query. "Where is that Saskatchewan place? For we are eager to know."
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| Tumplining |
O - I thought the tumpline - well, okay, it's a western province, half prairie half forest, located between Alberta and Manitoba, biggest city Saskatoon, capital city - Regina. Ha! No wonder I call these chaps British Americans**.
Oh, by the way, there's a town in Newfoundland called "Port au Choix". This will become relevant later.
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| And here it is |
Enough of martial endeavour. Let the motley bumble it's blindfolded way forward!
To The Strains Of "One Of These Days"
Conrad has long been accustomed to the fact that his mind does not work the way your humans minds work. Frankly, given the contents, it's a wonder it works at all. Anyway, the Pink Floyd track above is one of my favouritest songs ever, although since it only has a single vocodered line "song" is perhaps pushing it a bit. It was only a couple of years ago that I discovered it incorporates one of my favouritest television themes, that of the BBC dramamentary "Doctor Who".
Wowsers, eh?
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| Eldritch Palmer |
In the same way, I got to the end of Volume 2 of "The Strain" before realising that the main human villain, Eldritch Palmer (spoiler below!***) was derived from another villain, Palmer Eldtritch, the titular character from one of my favouritest authors - Philip Kendred Dick - and "The Three Stigmata of Palmer Eldritch". The books didn't get recalled and the television series went ahead, so I don't suppose the PKD estate were too bothered.
So there you are.
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| Palmer Eldritch. No - hang on - |
Never Judge A Book By It's Cover
Most especially if it's a hardback without a dustcover, as you have no idea what it's about. What I want to - hang on, is Ben Folds still alive? - Phew, yes, it was only sherbet and they had to release him without charge - what I want to rant on about is how prejudiced Hom. Sap. can be. Okay, you may be aware that there is a reboot of the Hellboy film franchise in the works. Purists will whinge that Guillermo Del Toro (who co-wrote "The Strain", my how everything is connected to everything else today!) isn't the director therefore it won't be any good, especially as Ron Perlman ain't donning the Mighty Whammer of Doom. Personally, Conrad thinks that the more Hellboy there is in the world, the better a place it becomes.
There I go, making the world so much better.
Enter Wells Cathedral. They allowed the film to shoot within it's hallowed halls, which provoked something of a backlash from the faithfully ill-informed. Herein the link:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-somerset-41340333
Now, despite his fearsome appearance, Hellboy is a lot more human that many of the people he fights, and he fights them because they are evil, not because he enjoys lamping folks with his enormous stone fist.
So there you are.
Finally -
Because this is the way my mind works, here is a plate of poy:
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| I shan't fight you for it |
There you go. My mind at work.
* Oh, alright - Canada. There. Happy now?
** About the biggest compliment there is
*** He gets ripped apart after being forcefully decapitated. Tee hee! (because he so very thoroughly deserved it)
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