Visceral Internecine Verisimilitude

Or "Punchy War Realism" Not To Be Pretentious About It
Sorry, we are talking about your humble scribe here, who cannot fail to use five words instead of one if it makes him look clever.
     "Er - quite," I can hear you question cantankerously, "Are you still banging on about that book on nuclear war?
     Thermonuclear war, thank you very much - yes there is a difference.  No, I'm not yarking about that, I refer instead to that television phenomenon known as "Game of Thrones".  It's been running for six seasons now yet this is only the second episode I've sat down and watched: "Battle of Dastards" (can't use the real title, not SFW doncha know).  I also annoyed the heck out of everyone else by asking questions.  "Who's that?"  "What's that?"  "Why's that?"  "Do the Wildings have bagpipes?" "Who's the big feller?*" "Do those dragons have mutually-opposable digits?"  "No bagpipes?"  "Where does your Lapp go when you stand up?**" "Are you sure there's no bagpipes?***"

Maybe he's just really close to the camera?

     Also, Conrad would like to point out that if you possess a fleet of HIGHLY COMBUSTIBLE WOODEN SHIPS, those ships also have GREAT BIG FLAMMABLE SAILS, not to mention rigging SOAKED IN EASILY-IGNITED TAR - you can see where this is going, can't you?  - not so much Careful With That Axe, Eugene, as Watch It With That Tinder And Flint - taking on an enemy who possesses Gigantic Airborne Flamethrowers is another of those Very Bad Ideas I've been talking about lately.

Like this but flying

     Another such Very Bad Idea is allowing Jon Snow to lead your army, as the man is an idiot.  He is counselled repeatedly about what NOT to do, and then goes ahead and does it anyway.  The only reason he's not dead is because he's lucky, and last time I checked out Sun Tzu, that wasn't part of the military curriculum.
     Conrad would also like to point out that in battles of the medieval era, the big casualties were suffered when one side broke and routed from the battlefield, to be pursued and cut down by the victors.  The "Making of" mini-documentary said that the ghastly heaps of slaughtered dead were partly inspired by the American Civil War, to which Conrad woke up and shouted "Cold Harbor!" because he knows a thing or two.

A battle so terrible Conrad is forced to overlook the spelling mistake

     Oh, and being torn apart by wild beasts - in this case starving dogs - was one of the more extreme punishments handed out by the Romans, though they usually took care to throw you into a pit rather than tying you to a chair.
     Despite what you may see as carping, it was a jolly entertaining episode.
     And no, the dragons don't have mutually-opposable digits.  Plus, no bagpipes.

Little Ern
You know Conrad (not too well, he hopes).  Ever one to find a theme, all the better to ease the creative process.  Of late this has riding into the news and posting on Facebook and Twitter astride an unusual steed.  Giant Mutant Koala, anyone?  Yesterday it was an Etiolated Ern.  Art?

NO! Damn your scrofulitic hide Art -

     Just let me Tazer a bit of common sense into Art

<sounds of shrieking - whether of pain or delight is uncertain>

An ern.  

     To be honest I don't know if animals can be etiolated (stretched and skinny) and wither way I don't think a single Ern would support my quite substantial carcass.
     Just to be clear.

The Quiz Of Surpriz
I've decided that's a word, so you and the spellchecker can just put up with it.  I did a quiz which came up with the following about Batman, and Art if you goof this one up I shall indeed take a bat to you, not a soft furry cuddly one but a stout one made of lacquered wood -

Well then

     As you can see, your modest artisan is in the Batman category, which is pretty cool.  Conrad, however, has always harboured a sneaking suspicion that Ol' Bats is a bit on the soft side of Wimpy - how many times do you catch the Joker before you lose patience and drop him off a tall building^?
     And yet ... Consider this:  Batman is an illegal vigilante.  He operates outside the law, whatever his intentions may be.  The only thing preventing Gotham Police Department from coming after him with both barrels and a few spare for good measure is that he doesn't kill people.  Conrad, with a big streak of Ruthless in him, would in short order have Gotham and Metropolis PD's on his tail.
     Or is it a rump?  Do bats have tails?

Bat-tail surfboard.  A real thing.

*  A giant.  Welllllll okay.
** He goes and plays with the rain, dear.
***  "Thank God" muttered Degsy
^  Or from a short one but with considerable force