Of Superheroes

Firstly, Batman
As you should surely know by now, Conrad has had a life-long love of superheroes and holds Batman in especially high regard.  Bats, after all, has a stern moral code that prevents him taking a life.  Were Conrad in his place then - well, let's just say that there wouldn't be any villains left over to form the Suicide Squad.

"Here lies Joker, the Penguin, Catwoman, Calendar Man -"

     "This is a bit out of left-field, Conrad," I hear you say.  "What brought it on?"
     The Beeb did, actually.  They have an article detailing how scientists have been analysing superheroes over several years, which is either a shocking waste of grant money or an awesome display of applied theory, and they frankly have a bit of a downer with Bats.  Herein the link:

https://www.theguardian.com/books/2016/jun/16/batmans-superpowers-questioned-by-scientific-study-superman?CMP=twt_books_b-gdnbooks

     It's actually linked to The Guardian's website, so Daily Telegraph readers beware!
     What these scientists worry about is Bat's cruising speed using his Batcape, which apparently hits a cruising value of 50 m.p.h.  They worry - O! how they worry! - that he'll hit an object and die, or at least end up crippled.

All this and brains, too

     Fools!  This is BATMAN they're talking about, the man with a marvel for a mind*.  Conrad is pretty sure that the Batcape offers unlimited manouevrability, and that, were Bruce W. be about to hit an object, he would immediately "dump" the air trapped beneath the cape, killing his aerodynamic profile and causing him to fall vertically.  Once safely away from the impact, he'd readjust the cape to inflate it again, allowing him to continue his high-speed glide.
     Of course, I might be overthinking this a little ...

Oooh, enough to make your palms all sweaty!

     And with that Intro out of the way, the motley can commence!

"Missile Master"
I open with this because it sounds rather like a poor copy of that supervillain (I call him that advisedly) "Deadshot" or somesuch, who can - have I got this right? - hit things with phenomenal accuracy with other things.  To supposedly lethal effect.  Conrad wonders how lethal you can be with a potato waffle or a Spongebob Squarepants soft toy - but I digress**.

"Danger!  Danger, Will Robinson!"

     Missile Master comes from that light and frothy work "On Thermonuclear War" by Herman Kahn that I'm plodding through.  Conrad hadn't heard the term before and - of course - had to check up on it.
     Far from being a supervillain it fell on the other side of the ledger.  It was more a system than a discreet thing, being command and control complexes for the South Canadian Nike-Hercules surface-to-air missile - command bunkers, lots of radars and links to the remote missile batteries.  A complement, if you like, of S.A.G.E.

"Beefy Jig Jag"
I know, I know, another example of those phrases that crop up in your humble scribe's mind when he awakens in the morning.
     This one sounds vaguely rude, although you don't need to worry, if it had been anything seedy or NSFW then it would not grace these pages.  Art?

As beefy as a jig can get

     I have no idea what this is, perhaps a torture device invented by the AA?

Jim'll Paint It
I suppose that we ought to be grateful that strange folk out there expunge their oddity on the internet, getting rid of weird thoughts as a catharsis instead of - hmmm.  Actually that sounds far too much like the background to BOOJUM! so let's instead jump straight to JPI.  Art?

Hilarious!

     I love this one.  Firstly, it mocks that undead revenant Mick Jagger.  Secondly, those customers are so well done - exhausted annoyance on the left, righteous anger on the right.  Thirdly, it's a funny concept, not merely strange.

You What?
Conrad hopes that you remember his post about the Bad Boys of classical Greek mythology, Tantalus, Prometheus and Sisyphus.  Ol' Sis was condemned to eternally roll a boulder uphill, the catch being that when it got near the top, it rolled away from him to the bottom of the hill.  So he had to repeat the process.
     I know what you're thinking, "Couldn't he have utilised a variety of restraining device, such as cables or netting, that prevented retrograde rock rolling?" 
     Well yes he could, and then the myth would have no impact, would it? Instead what I -
     "Or, could he not have shattered the single large boulder into many smaller ones that he could individually carry uphill without needing to roll them?"
     - again a fair point but I want to -
     "Perhaps he could have diverted a major source of flowing water to erode away the hill, thus removing the necessity of the uphill component of his task?"
     ENOUGH WITH THESE SUGGESTIONS!  ENOUGH!
     This has nothing to do with the myth, okay?  The myth was just setting the scene.  Window dressing. What I wanted to show was this - 

Yes, a scan of a van

     That's not strictly true.  White Van Man pulled up alongside the bus just as I tried to take a photo, so I had to wait until he moved on.  Art?

"Sisyphus"

     Colour me confused.  No sign of hills or rocks, and it's not really clear what's going on here.  I thought you might like to be kept informed.

And Finally -
Because I can.  The Comsat Angels, one of the finest rock bands this country has ever produced.

"Waiting for a miracle"

     Unfortunately also one of the unluckiest.  There is a tale there.  I may tell it.

*  Do you see what - O you do.
** I do this a lot.  It's part of my charm.