Pushing 30,000

Not Feet, Obviously
As that would put me more than five miles high*, which would cause me to lose consciousness due to anoxia (or apoxia, one of the two) and collapse over my keyboard.  Mind you, my peculiar alien constitution might very well allow me to stay conscious, which would still be a bad thing as Conrad is neither i) lighter than air or ii) aerodynamic in any way. So I'd be shrieking all the way down until -
     - well, let's skip that particular image, shall we?

The view from 30,000 feet
(Conrad just out of shot holding onto wing)

     "Get on with it, Conrad!"  I hear you quack.  "Pointless is on soon!"
     Ignoring your slavish worship of Osman and Armstrong, I shall continue.
     The blog - which is this thing you are reading, or at least moving your eyes across - has hit 29,645 views so it is indeed pushing 30,000 views.  355 off.  Now, another factoid you are probably unaware of is that the blog will be three years old on 16th June 2016.  It would be a nice coincidence if we could hit that 30K mark on or before the third anniversary; it's achieveable as we've managed more than that per week over the past four weeks.
     I suspect on any other blog there would be long, tearful, maudlin reminiscences about how little I dreamt all those years ago - but because Conrad is made of sterner stuff we'll have none of that here!


The Journal Has Arrived!
It's right here, Edward Lear!  Javed's curiosity was piqued at lunchtime as I sat reading it in one of the comfy chairs, and I explained it was a members-only publication.  Art?

Go on, admit it, very eye-catching!

     The members I refer to are The Society Of Twentieth Century Wargamers, and I promise folding money to anyone who can create a catchy acronym out of that title.
     Anyway, I'm sure you'll admit this is a striking cover illustration, and the whole thing looks as if it could be retailed by W H Smith.  The missile rising in flames is, I think, a Minuteman II, which is relevant in view of an article about the Sinisters plotting Nuclear Unpleasantness from their Czechoslovakian fastness (I don't call them "Sinisters" for nothing).

http://sotcw.co.uk/

     There's the link to their webpage.  I promise that we are not a gang of jackbooted militaristic scunners plotting world domination to steal all the biscuits.  I used to be a lot more involved, but of course BOOJUM! simply eats up my time nowadays, so salve my conscience and help us hit 30K.

Bus Wait Rate
This is a real thing.  Yes it is!  I have mentioned what I call "Orwell's Rule" about public transport, which is that 9 times out of 10 your service will be late, but the other 10% it leaves early, so you are in a state of constant mental anguish about timetables**.

Look at the anguish on that face.  No - hang on a minute -

     Conrad's Rule of Bus Wait Rate states that, whilst you are waiting for a bus on your side of the road, which takes ages because it's late (see above), a significant number of buses will drive by on the other side of the road***.  I proved this yesterday as I waited for the 24 not to turn up, whilst 5 buses passed on the other side of the road, which your humble scribe feels is causality over-egging the pudding a bit.
     Now, the question is, how can your modest artisan turn a profit from this?

Mission Log: Elementary, Dear Data
Ah, a lift into Manchester with Degsy (for which I have to disable the atomic howitzer and flamethrowers) so no Cryptic crossword, compensated for by Ken and John's riff, this time on the episode above.  You know, the one where Data plays the part of Sherlock Holmes, easily solving the holodeck's attempts to create a mystery.  Geordi, playing the part of Watson, then executes a mistake of such magnitude that it puts the entire starship and all it's crew at risk.  "Create an opponent capable of defeating Data" he instructs the holodeck.  Note that right there:  Data.  Not Sherlock Holmes.  Aaaand the holodeck does just that, which leads Conrad to wonder about the computer operating systems of the 24th Century; considering the dialogue boxes and messages and prompts and "Are you sure?  Are you really sure?  Are you really really sure with sugar on?" messages that crop up every time you minimize a window on a PC, these future folk are a little cavalier with safety measures.

Data attempts to cook a shoe with solar power

     The opponent is, obviously, Professor Moriarty, whose character and personality evolve winningly over the duration of the episode, into someone benign who puts forward a philosophical argument about Cogito Ergo Sum, from villain to victim in fact.

The evil Professor - makes jam
(For the scones)

     Now for trivia, which the podcasters do first.  The sets for this episode were very expensive, so much so that a day's shooting was cut to try and compensate.  Ken and John had a looong discussion about whether they prefer scones or crumpets - you see, South Canada, you DO miss Britain! - as these are what Moriarty plies a hostage Pulaski with.  O the horror!  Forced to drink tea and eat crumpets^!  Then they debate the nationality of Captain Picard, who seems to be the most English Frenchman ever^^.  Plus one of the podcasters used the word "Apropos", which automatically gives them a Get Out Of Jail Free card from Conrad.

" - and I'll call it 'Etch-a-Sketch' - d'you think it'll catch on?"

     And we have gone WAY over count, so I shall hastily throw in a few pictures and finish.

"How - how little I dreamt -"

*  Only ever Imperial measures on BOOJUM! and if you don't like it - THE DOOR IS THAT WAY! 
**  For some this is a good thing, as it leads to The Stress Diet
*** Drive by MOCKINGLY
^  Sound like Conrad's Saturday morning at the Mansion
^^ Nothing wrong with that whatsoever!