Do you see what I did there? Apologies to those of you who do not live in the Landscaped Parklands of Eden that constitute Europe, including those of you who wonder how many various dialects and sub-tongues they muster*.
"Euro 2016" is a sporting extravaganza featuring football, although to the utterly sports-deficient Conrad it barely registers as a -vaganza. It is due to go on for a month. A MONTH!!! What they hell are they playing for? The future of the free world?
The German word for "football" is "fussball" and it seems to your humble scribe that we could with profit adopt this word into English, too, as it seems SO appropriate.
I would also like to apologise to those who clicked on this post thinking it would be an incisive, witty, wordy analysis of the arguments for Leave or Remain. YOU HAVEN'T BEEN PAYING ATTENTION! No politics here.
| United Planet Cruiser C57D's Giant Snowglobe was the envy of the fleet |
Pub Quiz: The Walk Home
Never one to wallow in negativity**, Conrad has not detailed the Marsden Muppets defeat at Pub Quiz - beaten despite hitting it fairly and squarely out of the park in the Film and History sections (not just "Quisling" but "VIDKUN Quisling" thank you very much). Also, Dingbats is a great leveller. Afterwards, whilst en route to the Mansion a little gloasting took place - BOOJUM! being nearly 3 - and Rosie asked what got included. Short descriptions followed, including things that pop up into your modest artisan's mind, e.g. "Soi-disant", which Phil instantly translated as "Self said", idiom for "Self-proclaimed".
"Like a paper selfie!" came back Rosie, a response so pithy and apt that I simply had to steal it for the blog. And I have done.
| Vidkun Quilsing's karate lessons were - basic |
A Bit More Of Bruce Catton
- and his "Grant Takes Command". I was going to add this in yesterday but the blog was nearly 1,000 words long already and I don't like to presume on your eyeballs too much.
The subject was the presence of rubbish generals in Grant's army, men whom he had to put up with because they had immense political clout. Imagine Donald Trump being appointed Lieutenant General of the First Marine Division and then leading them off to fight in <thinks> Azerbaijan .
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| Azerbaijan. Un-controversially, more picturesque than Donald |
Hmmm. Promising recruitment material for First Bus ...
Part of the problem with Ledlie is that he had survived in command largely by flying under the radar, at which point your talented typist wondered if he could use such an anachronistic analogy <Mister Hand gives approval>.
Well there you are, approved.
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| ENOUGH! Of politicians. Have the Crab Nebula instead. |
The Mutability Of Morals
I can guess what you were thinking a few lines above. "Heck, what's this, Conrad IS mentioning politics and shizzle!"
Yes, it's my blog and I can make or break the rules as I go along. Also, Donald Trump has a funny name***.
I choose to do these things, not because they are easy, but - oh, no, hang on, that's more politics. JFK. I do them because I can. Last week I was lambasting the inventor of the telephone, and today -
"Alexander Graham Bell,
I love the way your trousers smell.
You could say that they ring my bell.
In your shadow I love to dwell."
Do you see what I did - O you do.
That's me, able to change my mind at the flick of a switch. Nor is Conrad precious about himself, either.
"Conrad is a fickle beast
Not consistent in the least
With the morals of brewer's yeast.
And he is banned from the piste."
Actually you don't have to ban me from the piste^. Sports-deficient, remember? Skiiing is too cold, wet and dangerous for my liking.
* Yes a nod to "Forbidden Planet" there.
** Unless it's at someone else's expense <sniggers>
*** "Trump" being a politer version of "fart"
^ Go on, you were expecting a tasteless pun about urination, weren't you? Get your minds out of the gutter!
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