"How very ironic," mused your humble scribe, as he stood in line to pay for his Sweet Chilli Flavoured Crisps in the Co-Op on Church Street. "How very sodden ironic," to coin a vulgarism, as the rain dripped off him, for he had been caught in a cloudburst en route to the bus stop. Actually more a cloudsustaineddeluge as it went on and on. It died down, until Conrad stood at the bus stop, where eighty-seven people crammed themselves under the awning of the stop itself, leaving no room for elderly men in a bad mood. The 24 bus, in these circumstances, inevitably turned up late, and the cloudsustaineddeluge came back to unload another payload of liquid misery upon your humble scribe.
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| A refreshing summer's day in Manchester |
Mockingly, the sun did indeed put in an appearance on the way home.
Bah!
Now, I order the motley to commence!
More Midsomer Murders (The Green Man)
I find myself a little embarrassed. I know the tale behind the surplus corpse in the canal chamber. However, the two contemporary ones - no. Missed their resolution and can't find a copy on Youtube as it's 13 years old. Now, I have a theory about the first: the young man in question was off to an illicit rendezvous with his lover - a married woman. Her husband had found out about this affair so the text come-one was sent by him. He then lies in wait with bear-trap and rifle ... The second one I'm not at all sure about. A copycat? The MO is the same, and we see the possible femme fatale peering out of a window as Victim 2 departs.
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| Midsomer property going cheap. Dead cheap. |
Further to the above, this bloody - literally, we are after all talking murder here - series has been going for 18 years. At (a guess) 10 episodes per series, that's at least 180 murders in Midsomer.
Midsomer: a great place to buy property going cheap, with the proviso that you may not get to enjoy it for long ...
English Sport
Conrad, as you ought to know by now, is not at all sporty, and had to check with Phil at work to see who was favoured to win in the clash of titans between England and Iceland. "England" he promptly asserted. He did qualify his judgement by saying that the Iceland team were "very settled".
In the aftermath of SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT! SPO - oh you get the idea - England's defeat, the sporting pundits were calling Rejkjavik's Rangers "minnows". A reference to scale, perhaps? Or were they confusing them with the Finns? They're singing a different tuna now, eh? Cod save the Queen!
Apparently the Beeb thinks if they ignore it then nobody will notice.
Further to the above. When I bumped into Phil in the kitchen next day, I hastily apologised for jinxing the English football team. Neither he, nor Tony who was also present, were having any of this apology as they roundly tore into the English athlotes*.
The Coincidence Hydra Is Back
Yes by jove Michael Gove. I say, hydra, can you take your teeth out of my gluteus maximus? We meat again, you might even say. The other night it was Keweenaw, tonight it's the Gorn. Art?
I Tweeted this because I could. Perhaps Art could oblige with an image of this hideous creature, after the hideous pun?
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| Laugh now - it was terrifying then. |
You know me, always bubbling with ingenious if not always sensible ideas**. A few minutes after posting it, Wonder Wifey dropped off the latest copy of Empire. And what do we find within?
By now Conrad has learned to shrug off coincidences like this, except it didn't end there. Art?
There he is again, the photobomber.
And Finally -
Perhaps the most terrifying song lyric ever recorded -
* A portmanteau of "athletes" and "scrotes"
** Okay, the one about filling a kettle with petrol and seeing what happens when you turn it on is a bit worrying.
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