Today Is My Last Day

 - Of Being 53
Not that I plan to shuffle, skip or sashay off this mortal coil just yet, as that title is just a 

hang on I've not had my second pot of tea of the day - be right back -

 - that's better.  As I was saying, that title is a just a little bit provocative - alright, quite a bit provocative - but you know Conrad, any excuse to lure in passing traffic.

There was more. But I ate it.

     And that is some of the birthday food I got as a present, which has to be eaten now as it's perishable, and has to be eaten at home as half of it consists of marinated garlic cloves.  Sound prediction: I would not be popular in the office if I ate it there.

A Little Musical Critique
What a fruitful topic this analysis of "Blinded By The Light" has become!  Into our third session of satirical hilarity - which it is because I say so - and there's still enough lyrics to string out another two or three analyses*.  On with the motley!

"With this very unpleasin'"

It wouldn't be properly American if they didn't drawlingly omit the "g", would it?

"Sneezin' and wheezin'"

See?  I bet Canadians pronounce the "g", no messing about.

"The calliope crashed to the ground"

Where did this calliope mysteriously come from?  Same place as the boulder?

"The calliope crashed to the ground"

Again?  Or is this a different one?  The airspace there sounds extremely dangerous.

"Some silicone sister"

Actually that's quite sharp, Bruce, well observed.

"With a manager mister"

"Mister" as in opposite to "madam", i.e. the sister is one of his stable. Again, Bruce, sharp.

"Told me I got what it takes"

Hopefully this includes a helmet and body armour, as you live in a very dangerous neighbourhood full of falling objects

"She said I'll turn you on sonny to something strong"

This is getting a bit NSFW in Conrad's eyes and is probably to do with DRUGS!

So we'll end it there.  Still more to come*!

A calliope.
One of these crashing on you would put a crimp in your day, and your hair

You Skeptical Lot
I know you tend not to believe unless there are pictures and a sworn deposition duly notarised and held in a safety-deposit box of Bank Credit Suisse in an underground rat-proof vault, so -

     Two kinds of ice-cream for breakfast!
     I know, I know, I'm so controversial.

Teabags
Or
Why Conrad Does Not Buy "Greatest Hit" Collections on CD
Let's go over the second title first, just because I feel perverse.  Okay, firstly because a "Greatest Hits" package, a.k.a. "The Best Of", "The Very Best Of", "No, Really And Truly This Is The Very Best Of" or "The Biggest Hits Of" - u.s.w. is an admission by that particular label that the band or musician hasn't got any new material, and has in fact left that label, so they feel the urge to exploit the fans a bit more.  Beware of the labels who stick a couple of previously unreleased tracks on one of these compilations, as they are miserly con-artists of the lowest order, attempting to get the completists.

A Sony PR Executive speaks:  "Yessss.  All true. Sssss!"

     The second reason Conrad does not buy these compilations is that he is highly resistant to the idea of a third party deciding what he is going to get.  I decide what tracks I like, not a committee in suits clustered around a table with a Powerpoint of chart sales versus demographics**.
     Actually I have two such CDs, and I bought one by accident.

One of the CDs in question

     "But Conrad," I hear you say, "What does this have to do with teabags? 
     And don't think I didn't hear that crack "Get on with it you deluded old fool."
     Well.  I like to brew my tea from loose leaves, because that way I can brew it as strong as I like, and with long leaf teas the strainer isn't necessary.  I do not want an industrial research committee's idea of how much in the way of sweepings goes into a teabag to inform, still less brew, my pot of tea.

My loose leaf English Breakfas - no, hang on -

And there the word count means we have to stop for now.  Don't worry, Conrad has an endless amount of scrivel for you*.


* Unless you plead for mercy.
** Oh for the days when they'd have been snorting drugs off the naked body of a hired female entertainer in the Green Room of an underground club staffed by eunuchs ...