Although it does have two wheels and pedals (I think - the metalwork is a bit complicated), so by any definition it's a bi-cycle. However, that is definitely and undeniably Dick Van Dyke upon the saddle -
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| Designed on a bet |
Let me kick Art awake and see what his coal-infused brain can do - Art? Dick Van Dyke, on a bike, smartish.
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| It's a tricycle but we'll let Art off |
There you are - too late to go back and correct to "It's Dick Van Dyke - On A Trike!" although it is.
"Build Your Own Solar System"
Conrad witnessed an advert for this magazine on the television this morning, and was struck by the long term costs.
| This issue - 99p. All the rest? £7 each |
Not sure how those curved pieces on the base are going to fit comfortably in a magazine cover. Not only that, it's a weekly publication. Do the maths - £358 in total, and if you miss one piece I bet the whole thing fails to work.
NCIS
As you surely know by now, Conrad regards this as one of his guilty pleasures, "popcorn" for the eyes", which he usually gets to watch of a Saturday morning whilst dogsitting. It has it's moments, low as well as high.
Take last week, for example. A rapelling death occurred as a result of substituting a steel D-ring for a far more robust titanium one, in what Conrad deemed must be one of the most ridiculous murder plots imaginable. Since the death occurred amongst a group of SEALs, all of whom have access to guns and knives and grenades and explosives, why not just SHOOT THE GUY! There was a reason, which is a spoiler, details below*.
Then we have today's first episode, where what is termed an "expo-dump" (exposition dump - a ridiculously large amount of information given at speed) took place in the space of a minute, where the murder methodology, the suspect, her background, her father, her ex-NCIS father and the 10 year gap between murders were all hurled at the viewer.
| Giant inflatable spiders - all part of the job |
Then there's the second of today's episodes, where we have what Conrad calls the "Scooby Doo Suspect" approach; in Scooby Doo there's only two other characters besides the Mystery Gang, kindly old Ben who runs the saloon in the ghost-town, and pale-faced narrow-moustached Gribly Thripwright, the rancher from out of town. When the ghost costume/robot armour/monster disguise is removed, the villain is of course Gribly.
Well, that's what we had in this episode concerning FBI involvement, two suspects. And since one died ...
 |
| They walk between the tapes because of all the UNEXPLODED BOMBS. Thank you |
Make Your Mind Up!
Whilst sitting reading "On Thermonuclear War" in the lounge, and also paying close attention to "NCIS", Conrad happened to notice buses passing on the road outside. Since bus posters are a valuable trigger for the imagination, he paid attention, only to see:
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| Got it. Escape not an option |
The next thing he sees is:
 |
| What? |
Stop confusing an old man and decide which it is!
"Death On The Nile"
I finished watching this last night and there turned out to be quite a bit of death in the end, and my suspicions about the chief suspects turned out to be correct, although I'd got no idea whatsoever about how they managed the dirty deed.
 |
| The floating morgue - sorry, cruise ship |
Given that there were five corpses in the end, I wonder where they got stored during the journey? This is Egypt at the height of summer, you know ...
One annoying red herring was never explained, either. During their excursion to Abu Simbel, a falling stone block nearly brains the eventual murder victim and her husband. We never find out who did this, nor why, and Poirot insists it wasn't an accident.
So who did it and why? I may pop over to IMDB to see if there's any explanation in the forums there.
"In Flagrante Delicto"
Conrad knew that this was Latin, and legal, but didn't know that it literally translates as "Blazing offence", meaning what we in English term "Caught red-handed", which Brewer's tells us is as if caught with blood on ones hands. Meaning that you are very very guilty indeed with no way to deny it.
More often used as an euphimism for those caught in the carnal act, which kind of brings me round to me being frightfully clever** ...
Ashley Madison
It is rare for BOOJUM! to comment on current affairs, but this once I waive the rule as it allows me to do some clever wordplay.
Ashley Madison, unless you have been living in an underwater environment at the bottom of the Mediterranean for the past month, is a website that allows the married registrant to hook up with other married registrants. Enabling affairs, you might say.
They were recently hacked and the details of their registrants broadcast to the world at large. Meaning Conrad breaches good taste by coming up with the anagram:
O Sin Shamed Lay!
Well it impressed me.
* It was suicide.
** Again
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