It's Doctor Doom - Being A Loon!

That's Telegraphing My Intent
You now know who's going to be in the "Supervillains With Their Pants Down*" section.  Well, I guess a little predictability in your barren, empty, BOOJUM!-less lives won't hurt.
     That's a bit short for an Intro.

The bad doctor, hamming it up.
Perhaps, as he is encased in metal, Spamming it up?

     I was a bit mocking about the Russian Strategic Rocket Forces yesterday, a theme that will continue today as well, Conrad - secure in the knowledge that those rascals Misha and Grisha are too far away to do him harm - will continue to make paper cuts and put salt on them.  No Shakeshaft today, however, as that might be pushing them a little too far, and we don't want them pressing any big red buttons, do we?

No we do not!

Confusing English: "Emollient" versus "Emolument"
If you slur your words, have a pronounced accent or mumble, these words will sound much like the other.  "Well, what's the harm in that, Conrad?" I hear you ask.
     BECAUSE IT IS WRONG!  I WON'T HAVE IT! GET IT RIGHT!
     That is what the harm is. An angry Conrad is an annoyed alien spy with an atomic howitzer built into his car**.
     <deep calming breaths>
     Okay, let's define those words.  "Emolument" is a payment or fee, usually resulting as the consequence of a person occupying a particular job.  "Emollient" is a substance that smooths and soothes the skin.
     The difference is you can have a metaphorical emollient if a person pays you, as money given generally tends to sooth people, but you can't have a metaphorical emolument.  It just doesn't work***.

Finis!
Finished reading "Gravity's Rainbow" earlier today and I think it finishes in a circular manner, referring back to the opening line "A screaming comes across the sky", about a V2 rocket about to hit London.
     I say "I think" because it's a strange ending, bound up with Tarot cards and the disappearance - or maybe not - of the novel's anti-hero Tyrone, who escapes with Seaman Pig Bodine from a deadly dinner where he might have been about to be eaten by upper-class cannibals -

I Googled "Tyrone Slothrop" and this came up

     There's also a terrible pun in there, about devotees to the Chinese philosophy of "I Ching".  Why are they always on the move?  Because they have I Ching feet!
     So! Now I shall start on "House of Leaves" which is 526 pages long with 175 pages of notes and index.  Promisingly weird.

Meanwhile, At Strategic Rocket Forces Base Number Sixteen, Novi Palatinsk
As mentioned yesterday, the Colonel likes to have emergency drills carried out every so often, to lessen the enormous boredom that comes of babysitting a set of thermonuclear missiles in their silos.
     Yes, really!  It is boring.  Nobody having invaded Russia recently, nor mounted a ballistic missile attack, the residents of SRFBNo.16 tend to spend their free time drinking, and their duty time dealing with hangovers.
     Their most recent exercise was defending the base against an attack mounted by mock American Marines.  Quite what the Colonel was thinking is open to question, as the US Marines are an amphibious force.

"Get my good side!"
Misha and Grisha ham it up for the camera, and also the ladies

     His choice of uniform for these fake attackers was also questionable, although his loyal subordinates didn't protest too loudly.

Deadly US Marine Corps - er - with their muskets

     The Colonel, after all, is the one who decides who goes on leave and when.

You What?
Occasionally Conrad gets a tad annoyed at things - you may have noticed a tendency on the blog for him to lay into the metaphorical flesh of a target with his poison canines - and Why!  what do we find but the Twits coming up with more stupid Suggested Posts.

What on Earth?  

     Let me clarify that title line: "Video Front-End Development with Bourbon, Neat, Refills and Bitters"
     What? Whatwhatwhat?  Are they flogging software or running a bar?
     Twits, take your suggested drivel and march off the cliff with it!

I Feel A Letter Of Complaint Coming On
Not for First Bus^, not this time^^.  No, my sniperscope is registered on the retailer Morrisons, for the following reasons in picture form:

     As you are surely aware by now, Conrad is one of those people who will read the ingredients list on the back of bottles.  For example, what is Cetylpyridinium Chloride?  Is it safe?  It sounds like an industrial-strength solvent used to clean out the fuel tubes on a Minuteman missile.  Hopefully it isn't, as I'm reading the ingredients list on a bottle of mouthwash.
     Anyway, back from my tangent^^^, and from the upper picture you can see that you appear to be getting "Mango and Passion Fruit", with exotic fruit flavourings.  Looking at the label, you get ORANGE yet no Mango OR Passion Fruit.  None!
     As I said, a letter of complaint is now gestating ...

Oops.  Nothing about Doctor Doom in this post! I guess a little unpredictability in your barren, empty, BOOJUM!-less lives won't hurt



* Mary, it's just as much a metaphor for the villains as it was the heroes.
** Not threatening or anything.  Just so you know.
*** Arguments to the contrary will be met with deadly force.
^ First Bus management sigh with relief.
^^ First Bus management gasp in anticipatory horror.
^^^ See?  I can do Thomas Pynchon, too.