It's Mister Spock - Playing Indie Rock!"

Well, He Might Be -
- and the charming young lady playing her instrument next to him certainly looks about right for an indie musician, even if her instrument looks rather like an apple-slicer enlarged -

Whereas that "harp" looks more like an egg-slicer enlarged

     I tried that title because "It's Mister Spock - Wearing A Frock!" would probably be deemed a mortal insult by the Trekkies* out there.

Here he is next to a frock.
No, I have no idea either

You What?
I really have NO idea what the hell the Twits are promoting here as a "Suggested Post" as it appears to be incomprehensible gobbledygook to your humble scribe.

"IOS DEVS COMMIT CODE MORE FREQUENTLY"

     This is news to me.  Good news?  Bad news?  The lion shall lie down with the lamb?  High winds over Norway have affected the mango crop**?
     Answers on a postcard to the Mansion, thanks in advance.

A Selection Of Photographs
If you read the blog with any regularity, then you know Conrad starts the weekend by drinking buckets of tea, scoffing ice cream, reading and making cryptic notes undecipherable by the arts of man and fending off the pets.

My Breakfast Best Buds

     Jenny will gradually and very slyly make her way closer to the food, until a whack on the head makes her draw off.  Temporarily.  Pick her up and drop her off the table, she slinks back seconds later.
     Edna, meanwhile, sits and whimpers pathetically, desperate to get some of what I'm having.
     A plague on both your houses!
The Journal
Okay, not the most original title ever.  Accurate, though.  If it were titled "The Rimsky-Korsakov Ballet Dancers Appreciation Fanzine" then I would begin to worry.  Anyway -

     The first full-colour cover, and a jolly excellent job done by Editor Pete Jones, that darkly witty Welsh funeral worker.
Hello Dolly Bars
I should have a sign made:"NO I DON'T KNOW WHY THEY ARE CALLED HELLO DOLLY BARS"
as I have to explain every time I make them.

     That's the single one remaining out of 12, and it went soon after.  Part of a charity event at work, raising £150 for Parkinson's Disease.
     What are they?  A biscuitcrumb base, with a layer of nuts, chocolate chips, coconut and all liberally coated in condensed milk, which caramelises during baking, for a very sweet traybake that is damned difficult to clean off the pan.

The Great British Bake Off
I know, I know, it's now Saturday and this prog went out on Wednesday, so why the delay?  Real life intervened on Thursday and I had to get CV created from scratch for a job application, which meant going over the Role Profile and Job Description, and - look, it's my blog and I put in what and when I feel like it, okay?
     This time the theme was "Bread"

Ian, silently dreaming of world domination.

Signature:  this was to make a quickbread (a.k.a. soda bread) as it uses bicarb of soda and baking powder, not yeast, to raise the dough.  Kneaded lightly, not using a tin, being careful about not using too much BoS or BP -
     Ian, Alvin and Paul all did really well here.  Mat and Dorret were in trouble.
Technical: proving that he really can be a twod, Hollywood expected the team to produce four identical baguettes with a nice crisp finish.  Since this is the Technical, the recipe instructions were not just basic, they were missing important details.  I knew to put water in the oven to give a crisp finish, and to slice diagonally and shallowly, but many bakers didn't!  Ian (whom Wonder Wifey hates with a passion because he's - well - because he's Ian) came first and Paul came 10th.  Sorry, mate
Showstopper: Our historical insight this week was a Ukranian Bread Sculpture which was being created for a wedding. The team's brief was to create a 3D bread sculpture, one of which had to be filled, and they had 5 hours to do it in.  Given the constraints of proving, this isn't all that long.
     Alvin produced an enormous "Cornucopia" which could have fronted a shop window, it was so large.  Ian and Flora did well, but the real triumph was Paul's - he got a special mention from an awed Paul Hollywood for his lion sculpture.

The mane attraction***

SPOILERS AHEAD!







I'M WARNING YOU!



Okay, Star Baker was Ian, again, and Dorret got sent home snivelling.




*Apparently these are a thing.
** I nicked this from "Vic Reeves Big Night Out"
*** Do you see what I - o you do.