It's Sergeant Pepper - On A Wasserschlepper!

Actually It's Not
I thought I'd keep the Beatle-powered clickbaiting theme going for today at least, and Sergeant Pepper is one of the most iconic albums of the Twentieth Century.  Almost on a par with "Waiting For A Miracle" by The Comsat Angels, in fact, although slightly-better known.
     So.  The Sergeant:

Spot Edgar Allan Poe if you can

     I don't expect you to know what a "Wasserschlepper" is, since the boaty beast is vanishingly rare.  Here is a picture:

A kind of tracked boat?
Or a tank that can float?

     A German vehicle of the Second Unpleasantness, designed to be amphibious.
     Now, I can't show you Sergeant Pepper on a Wasserschlepper, but I can show you this:

Going great guns

     The Beatles on a Centurion tank.  It's admittedly not the same, yet worth an "aah!" or two of acknowledgement.

The Metro
I have quite a bit of venom to inject the yellow rag with, so let's crack on.
     Firstly, their cover.  Conrad's incessant war of nerves has clearly rattled them, as they are no longer lying about "Guilty Pleasures: Four pages of showbiz gossip", viz this:

"Your  daily showbiz fix Pages 14 - 15"

     I've no idea who the celebritute in the background is, nor do I care.
     I did notice, and snigger at, that the sub-editor in charge of "Guilty Pleasures" is none other than Andrei Harmsworth. "What a splendidly apt surname!" I snickered to myself, making the passengers around me back off.
     Next, they manage to redeem themselves in "60 Seconds" with Katherine Parkinson.
     "Who?" I hear you chorus.  "Conrad, enlighten us!"
     Remember "The IT Crowd"?

Jen.  The woman.  In the middle.

     She was the IT Department's hapless IT-ignorant head.  She got the "60 Seconds" gig because she's currently featured in "Humans", which is actually more about robots and thus somewhat in the mould of "The IT Crowd"*.
     Then we had the riveting news that a species of fly thought to be long extinct had been rediscovered.  Say hello to my leetle friend - Ooops, sorry, wrong film.  Be afra - damn it, no!  Rhapium Pectinatum -

Ghastly looking chap

     It was rediscovered by an entemologist loitering around the Old Sludge Beds in Devon.
     Conrad is so glad for him.  Rediscovering an extinct species of fly.  Still, probably not kudos enough to make up for hanging around old beds of sludge for weeks on end.

You What?
Another of those suggested posts that the Flooks on Facebook continue to throw up**.

     I would like to point out that whatever is threatening our chap with a bat, they are:
     1) Emphatically not dead
     2) Not shadows, either.
     Conrad would also like to further point out that shadows cannot be dead AS THEY ARE NOT ALIVE IN THE FIRST PLACE!
     Thank you.  That is all.

Goths
Striking a theme here, last week Conrad suddenly wondered who the "Ostrogoths" were.
Ostrogoths: Germanic tribes who headed south into Italy.  They were at their peak in the 4th Century AD, until they were crushed by the Huns.  They later re-emerged to rule Italy until they were assimilated by the Lombards.

Goths of the Ostro- persuasion

Visigoths: More of the later Goths, who were around between 300 and 500 AD.  They settled in Gaul before moving south into Spain and Portugal, assimilating into the Hispano-Roman culture there.

Visi-bly agitated ...***

Morgoth: This chap is what you might call the Big Bad of JRR Tolkein's world.  You remember Sauron, the Dark Lord?  Well, he was just one of Morgoth's bitches, thank you very much.  

No that's not a tiny person, it's a hulking great Morgoth

  Gotham: That dark and scabrous city that it the abode of Bruce Kent and the domain of Batman, all gloomy looming granite, a fittingly sombre backdrop for the Dark Knight.

Gotham City at noon

Got Ham: This is just Conrad being silly

Shakeshaft
I explained to Peter, sitting next to me for the first time ever, that I hated Shakespeare with a passion and cannot comprehend that my dad read him for enjoyment.  Anyway, as part of getting my own back, I selected a line from "Othello":

"I am one who loved not wisely but too well."

Meaning, I slept around and am now bound for Hell.

In furnaces of brimstone is where I'm going to dwell.

Oh drad and blast it all, I should have stayed singel.

Hmmm.  Possibly straining it with that last rhyme.  But, once again, whose blog is it?

Aaaand once again space and time - wait a minute - What happens to Michael Pena's character in "Battle: Los Angeles"?



* I know I'm reaching here - but a man's got to try!
** Yes, a double-entendre
*** Sorry