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Saturday, 20 December 2014

Wigan Athletic

Az Ashenaee Tun Khoshbakhtam!
Of course it is!  BOOJUM! fully embraces this saying, as you have been kind enough to visit the blog.  Unless you are MI5, in which case you can't prove a thing and anyway the plans to take over the world have been postponed for a bit - got presents to wrap, food to buy, cards to write, all that sort of thing.
     I know, I know, I can tell what you're thinking - but if they were called "Recoverable Fugitive Fee" bars they'd need to be a foot long in order - Oh!  Sorry, you wanted to know what the title meant?
     "Nice to meet you" in Farsi, the language of Persia.  You know, that country where they make pugs*.
Covering both bases, a pug in a rug
     This Intro also serves to sneak our evening's visual pun past the Sneaking Syrian Surveillance hamsters on duty today.  On with the motley!
     O, and Art Department?  I mean "Motley".  Any pictures of Dick Dastardly's sidekick and you will be the filling in a rug.  In a crater on the Moon.

Doctor Who Calendar
Okay, pilgrims, I think we can take it that all varieties of monsters have been encountered so far, as all that turned up behind Door Number Twenty was another orange Dalek (makes sad face):
Dalek I Love You**
     It's either suffering from jaundice or carotenemia.

Cat And Dog: System Performance Issues
As you surely know by now, the Mansion is protected: tripwire flares, minefields and barbed wire.  Our Inner Defences amount to Edna the Four-Legged Very Loud Alarm System and the Cyborg Sentry Cat***.  These two last provide an interesting contrast across the Dynamic Activity Spectrum^, as these two photos illustrate:
Edna in Whirling Dervish mode
  It took two people and dog treats to get this shot.  Whereas Jenny -
Silent.  Sombre.  Sinister.
Also not bothered as Conrad had no food at the time.
     Jenny is quite happy to sit there and sulk.  Or ponder deeply on matters philosophical.  Personally I give more weight to the sulking.

That's Odd, I'm Sure The Fridge Was Fuller -
Another Christmastide arrival at the Mansion is Darling Daughter Sally, who has given up the dreaming spires - well, narcoleptic tenements - of Academe for the holidays.
In all her cyan-haired majesty
     With no thoughts for herself, Sally has nobly volunteered to remove any potentially embarrassing excesses of food or drink at the Mansion, as long as she stays here.
     What a gal.

"Against The Day"
Look!  Only 73 page left!
Oooh I'm so excited!  I've nearly finished this novel, which is not only looooong but complex; so complex in fact that if you leave reading it for a few days, you lose track of the plot.  We have now returned to "The Chums of Chance", who began the novel way back in 1895, and have progressed to 1918; the First World War has been glossed over in a few paragraphs, yet we still have a couple of items of note.
The Benet-Mercie Light Machine Gun:  and Mr Pynchon proves his antediluvian arsenal weaponry chops once again.  He earlier mentioned one character toting around a Madsen light machine gun, and then this weapon, which, believe me, is some kind of obscure.
Also some kind of ugly
     As you will notice it is air-cooled and clip-fed, so it's more an automatic rifle than a true machine-gun.  However, once again we doff our intellectual hats to the mighty Mr. Thomas Pynchon.
Sodality:  this might have been posted under "Hit By The Coincidence Hammer" rather than here, although this saves on typing.
     Up until last week, Conrad was entirely unfamiliar with the word "Sodality" and what it meant^^.  Then today it crops up in "Against The Day".
     Coincidence or sinister alien manipulation of reality?  Only Philip K Dick can tell! Phil?
"There is a third option, Conrad.  That you are completely round the twist."
 - moving on from rude and disrespectful Mr. Dick, we come to -

A Very Slight Tidy-Up
NO!  I am not trying to bloat-up the blog with pointless photographs of utterly uninteresting subjects^^^, as that would turn my quality-driven blog into The Metro online.
What this denotes is <thinks rapidly> a snapshot of where Conrad's mental mindset is at a particular Saturday.  After all, I don't get home from work until late, and there are various commitments that I have to honour then~, so tidy-up time is at a premium, really.
     Have I blathered enough?  Here's the "Before" picture:

      - and now for the "After":

     It is so that much tidier!  It is!

Wigan Athletic
Thank you once again for bearing with Conrad on an extensive dance around the titular post as we point and laugh at the confused hamsters who were looking to baffle our blog today.
There you go!
     Wig and athletic.  Close enough.
     Sorry, what's that?  There's a football club rejoicing in the unlikely name of "Wigan Athletic"?  I don't believe it!  <Googles>  Well I never, what an incredible coincidence!



* Or is it rugs?  One of the two.
** The name of a band.  Yes really.
*** With, don't forget, laser eyes.
^ Mister Hand translates: movement
^^ I'm not telling here.  Go look at back blogs of BOOJUM!
^^^ How DARE you insinuate that this is "business as normal!"
~ Mister Hand clarifies: making lunch for tomorrow, having some tea and desperately trying to pimp the blog online.

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