It automatically follows that if you read Conrad's scrivel, then you are so merely by association.
I know, I know, I can tell what you're thinking, but if they called it "Dancing on Frozen Dihydrogen Monoxide", it would scare - Oh! Sorry, you want to know what "Kheili Ba Hali" means?
How can you not realise already? "You are cool" in Persian.
Alas, if this were only true for poor lava-liquid-veined Conrad at work.
| Walk-in freezer. CONRAD DREAMS OF THIS! |
Doctor Who The Calendar
Aaaand behind Door Twenty-Three we have - another Cyberman.
Hmmm. I suppose you could make a case for multiple Daleks and Cybermen as they keep on cropping up in the series, whereas the lowly Ice Warriors only get one claustrophobic entry, stuck in a Russian submarine*.
 |
| A Cyberman, playing Doctor Who peekaboo |
More Metro Malleting
Whilst perusing today's edition of tomorrow's papier mache, I came across the two-page "Guilty Secrets" pages, which has scaled back from it's normal four pages of presentation**. The scribes responsible were named, at which Conrad's thoughts were "It takes three people to put this together?"
Well of course. One to write it, one to make tea, and one to sit in a corner with a bucket on their head, hitting it with a hammer***.
 |
| "Guilty Pleasures" is boring, so here's some narwhals. |
"David Hasselhoff, multi-talented Baywatch legend!"
The many talents of The Hoff, as we insiders know him, are left unexplained.
Thank you, Metro, for leaving your readers in suspense. Conrad will now attempt to explicate and resolve this unsubstantiated assertion.
Acting: The Hoff most famously appeared in "Baywatch", where he played a lifeguard^.
Directing: The Hoff also directed some episodes of "Baywatch"
Self-Deprecation: The Hoff mercilessly took the mickey out of himself in the very
amusing "Spongebob Squarepants Movie".
Singing: The Hoff stormed Germany with an epic tour that caused the collapse of the
Berlin Wall^^, leaving him a legend in the land of the Teutons.
| Truly , there is nothing that this god amongst men cannot do. |
"Z-Nation" Versus "The Strain"
I shall explain, briefly, what these programmes are. "The Strain" is a television series created from Guillermo Del Toro's three novels, where a vampire plague breaks out in New York City. We see this disaster from the very beginning as the series starts, and it ends with our heroes fleeing a city starting to fall apart around them.
"Z Nation" is a species of road movie, with our gallant band of survivors making their way west across the USA, from the East Coast. Their mission is to get the immensely unlikeable but unique survivor of zombie attack to the last operative lab in California. In this case the disaster began three years previously, so the running-down of society, civilisation and Taco Bell has already occurred.
So "The Strain" is about the unfolding apocalypse, whist "Z Nation" is more post-apocalyptic in nature.
(A little self-promotion here) My own MSS "Revelations" travels down both routes: we witness the disaster begin and grow, until four years down the line -
Ah, but that would be telling
You didn't expect any expression of preference, did you? Conrad is merely sharpening the nib of his intellectual quill pen.
 |
| Train station. Close enough. |
Powers
The television adaptation of this comic book series is due out this month, probably after Christmas. I have been re-reading these and have noticed subtle, understated effects and touches that really enhance the repeat reading.
 |
| Page One |
I shan't include the dialogue boxes as there are Rude Words there.
Yes! These people, the cops, the criminals and the civilians swear - just like real life, and entirely unlike stuffy mainstream comics, so there Marvel.
Okay, see the cinema display? Well in the background is a poster of the "FG3". Above that is an advert that promotes a peripheral character and a perfume she sponsors, and above that is a tiny replica of an original two-pager with Triphammer holding up a car (Triphammer an obvious homage to Iron Man)
Oh, and that film being promoted, "FG3 Masked Menace"? It gets reviewed by two film critics who thoroughly lambast it and, hilariously, blame Joel Schumacher the director for creating it.
Well, he is a bit of a hack.
Confusing English
Of course Conrad is adept at using this English language of yours, puny humans, but he rather pities other people who never learnt it from birth. For example:
"Loath"
Which of course means to be reluctant about a course of action. E.g. "The alien spy was loath to let MI5 into his mansion."
"Loathe"
Which of course means to be disgusted by something. It comes from Old English "Lothian", transmuted via Middle English into "Lothen". Thus "The alien spy was loathsome once he took off his human camouflage."
 |
| Close enough ... |
* Whose crew, without ado, could say, "It is true - We All Live In A Red Submarine"
** Presentation, gentle reader, is not content.
*** The bucket, not the head. Although I can dream, can't I?
^ There's a whole lot more to it that that, but it involves near NSFW-lady's beachwear
^^ This may be a slight exaggeration. Quite an exaggeration. A lot - whose blog is it?
No comments:
Post a Comment