As you patient, gentle and dear readers already know by now, Conrad has been expressing all the glee of a small child being fed on a diet of chocolate, thanks to his Doctor Who Advent Calendar.
Imagine my bewilderment and concern when I opened Door Number 5 and my optical units espied this:
 |
| Ruddy Dalek |
Horrors! What can it mean? There are only four monsters done in different colours?
NOOOOO!
And I have to wait until tomorrow to find out what's behind Door Number 6.
Damn it. Some days it's hard to be an alien spy wearing a human camouflage.
George Orwell On Holiday With Young Dog
Okay, Conrad - as mercurial as the weather - has changed his mind and now decides that the mystery acronym "GOOHWYD" now means the above.
Hello, Art Department, can you -
 |
| - They can |
Pretentious credentials established, let us move on ...
Asteroids
No! Not the primitive monochrome wireframe computer game of the early Eighties**. I mean one of those rocks in orbit between Mars and Jupiter, that occasionally get a hankering to move to an orbit closer to the Sun. Which, equally occasionally, happens to intersect with the orbit of Earth.
That's the planet we are both standing on. Sitting, in my case - never found it easy to type standing up - but the point remains the same.
An asteroid paying you a visit is a verrrry bad thing. That is why Brian May, guitarist and astrophysicist, has joined forces with lots of scientificky people to warn about the dangers of Asteroids.
 |
| Brian May. Who looks the spit of Isaac Newton ... |
Bashing the maths around a bit, "164 feet" equates to a mass that delivers an impact of about 150,000 tons. Which, by wild coincidence, is the warhead yield on a lot of NATO's nuclear missiles.
Don't panic***, though. Thanks to NEAR and the Rosetta mission, Hom Sap has a very genuine ability to land a spacecraft on such an impactor and blow the living crup out of it with a gigantic nuclear payload, throwing it way off course.
With one proviso -
- that we locate this Asteroid several years in advance ...
 |
| Asteroids. Dangerous - because it's so damn addictive. |
As any fule kno, Conrad is pretty sound when it comes to baking. This, that and quite a few others are on his list of Things He Can Do Pretty Well.
However! One thing he cannot manage to save his evil alien hide is decorating what he's made. Throwing a glaze made of icing sugar and water over a bun does not count as decorating. Mister Hand is there with a bamboo skewer if I try to make that claim.
Sophie^, on the other hand, is a dab hand with the palette knife and the glitter spray. I give you her Christmas-themed "Snowflake" and "Christmas Tree":
 |
| On my notebook for greater contrast |
Chris O'Dowd
Here is a young man going places. You may be familiar with Chris as the lanky Irish incompetent on "The I.T. Crowd", which also featured Richard Adeyoade, who is now a respected director, oh and also Noel Fielding, one half of The Mighty Boosh.
Anyway, back to Chris, who stars in a film called "Frequently Asked Questions About Time Travel", which is both amusing and involving - Conrad recommends viewing it as it's not well known and you can then score Obscure Film Points with your friends.
Back to the present day and - Hay Pesto! - a coincidence is struck! Yesterday we were blathering on about Bill Murray and his latest film and guess who else is in it?
Chris O'Dowd!
Oh the ways of chance and coincidence, eh?
 |
| Bah! Thy shrtened th ttle! |
* Yes, from Star Wars, but still applicable.
** As you might have suspected, Conrad is very familiar with this rascal.
*** Yes, another steal, from The Hitch-hikers Guide To The Galaxy, still applicable.
^ The glamourous understudy. Do keep up!
No comments:
Post a Comment