- we have to smuggle a visual pun past the sinister Phodopus Roborovski watchers of the web, which again means creating a lot of distracting drivel by way of an Intro.
So. The Doctor Who Christmas Special, featuring the mighty Nick Frost as Santa Claus, and the son of Patrick Troughton* as a cast member. And, much to the seething venomous hatred of Wonder Wifey, Jenna Coleman; who will be continuing into the next series.
I liked it - But. It overstayed it's welcome by a good ten minutes and tried to be too clever for it's own good. 7 out of 10. Still at least there were no flying sharks this year.
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| Flying shark, 1940's vintage |
At this time of year, whilst everybody is trying to love their neighbours, their families and themselves, it takes someone of profound mental ability to examine the other side of the coin. You know, the miserable side.
Enter Eeyore! What words of wisdom do you have for us today, O Sage Grey Eminence?
"Well - anyhow, it didn't rain"
Clearly and oh so obviously - obviously! - what Eeyore means is that even when circumstances look bleak and depressing, they might have been even worse, so we should try to accentuate the positive**.
There will now be a short interregnum as Conrad goes to make a pot of tea***.
Pyrethrum!
It sounds like a Marvel superhero, doesn't it? "Pyrethrum - master of the awesome power of <thinks> Sarcasm!" No, that won't do. "Master of the awesome power of Power Saw!" No, that won't do either. "Master of the awesome power of Eating Date-Expired Food!" No - that's me.
Anyway, it's not a Marvel superhero.
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| The terrifying superhero Dogwelder. Who welds dead dogs to the faces of villains^ |
NO! It's not a Dark Horse superhero. Enough with superheroes. Forget about superheroes!
Where was I before that vein in my temple began to throb? Oh yes -
It's actually an extremely potent insecticide. It gets mentioned in Lyman's "Tobruk" as the only thing that will kill off the ubiquitous and resilient sand fleas.
Where does it come from? Conrad has heard of it before but never checked the source, which is -
Chrysanthemums. Yes, the delightful and fluffy chrysanthemum. Symbol of the Japanese royal family, big in Chinese culture and it also kills fleas.
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| Chris and his mum. Close enough |
Doctor Who: Series That Never Got Made
As you must surely know by now, Conrad is a big fan of Doctor Who. He grew up with it, and even tolerates the newer 2005 version, but this does not stop him from the odd mocking item, such as this post. I give you the Series that never got approval from the producers:
"The Cabbages of Death"
"The Winkles of Evil"
"Stink of the Daleks"
"Attack of the Cidermen"
"The Pyramids of Mars-bars"
"The Seeds of Naughty"
"The Taglets of Doom"
"The Happy Robot"
"The Salopians"
""Paradise Towers" - oh, hang on a minute ^^-
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| The terrifying Candyman robot prepares to kill another hapless victim. No, hang on, wait a minute - |
The Los Angeles River
Auntie Beeb's website recently featured an article on this concrete icon, herein the link:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-30456672
It does make a point about the environment, the city layout, global warming and flooding. Typically Conrad began thinking about how many films he's seen that feature the river, so let's see: Buckaroo Banzai; Transformers; Them!; Repo Man; Terminator 2; Point Bank - and there must be more.
For all those films, Conrad doesn't ever recall seeing the river actually in flood. Art Department?
| Before. As is usually seen in fillums |
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| After. When it rained. Not often seen in films as you'd need a submarine |
That Beer Comment -
Well all I have to say is said in the picture:
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| How touching. And accurate. |
* Second Doctor. Do keep up!
** This almost sounds like a song ...
*** I was wise to stock up at Sainsbury's. Did the weekly shop at Asda and - NO LOOSE LEAF DARJEELING! I mean, can you believe it?
^ This can only be a satire, right? Right?
^^ Calling it quits here, I could go on all night like this ...
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