Guardians Of The Galaxy

Yes, Really!
I know I have teased you with misleading titles on the blog at least twice, and you must be thinking, ruefully, that you're not going to be fooled a third time, but - as you can tell because there's no Hamster-baffling random nonsense here - we're not trying to smuggle a visual pun past anyone.

Proof positive!

      There you are.  A tremendous blast of fun as a film*.

Hoist By My Own Petard
Conrad always wondered where this strange phrase originated.  It comes from siege warfare of the Early Modern period, when gunpowder was used for, obviously - obviously! - guns, and as a blasting explosive.  When an vertical obstacle was encountered, some hapless footslogger would be given a "Petard"**, that is an expslosive-filled container with a fuse, and told to go hang or otherwise attach the petard to the obtacle.
  Having done so, he then had to light the fuse and retire.  This fuse-setting was a rather tricky process; cut it too short and you'd get blasted to oblivion when the petard went BANG!  Cut it too long and you risked a gallant defender managing to get to it and put it out.  And if you got caught in the explosion you were said to have been "Hoisted", presumably as this is politer and more genteel than saying "Oh he was turned into butchers meat, verily, with only enough of him left to fit into a snuff-box.***"
     "Where," I can hear you saying, "Is all this leading, Conrad?"

"Tarquin sniggered.  Refuse to open the door to his trick-or-treating?  They'd regret it!"

     Only to say that I am presumably expected to turn out yet another finely-crafted blog on Christmas Day when I really do have other things to attend to.  Food to eat, films to watch, party games to play, tea to drink and oh look, some Old Speckled Hen.
     Enough!  On with the motley!!


     - excuse me, just off to get another cup of loose leaf Darjeeling -

If You Heard Me Say "About To Drink A Pint Of Poo-"
Would you immediately assume the worst, close the browser, remove BOOJUM! from your list of subscribed blogs and wish that Mind Bleach actually existed?
     Or, would you immediately recall A.A. Milne, author of the "Pooh" stories, and that BOOJUM! never swears and is always SFW?

The rarely-seen Intermediate Size Teapot is deployed to fill the Pooh Pint Cup

     Yes, one of Conrad's presents was a Pooh cup that holds a pint of tea, which he is grateful for since his Sports Direct Pint Mug went west.

The Haul
It is traditional to post a photo of the booty acquired this day, I understand, so allow me to illuminate you:

     The novelty Christmas socks were a no-no - they barely fitted and didn't even reach my ankle, and were so stretched they became transparent.  The electric Tash Trimmer looks very interesting but has to be charged up for 8 hours before first use, so it may not get used until tomorrow.  The male model is merely modelling men's briefs, so nothing seedy there, thank you ladies.  The belt buckle message is too small to read but the world would be a better place if people did, indeed, "Make Tea Not War".  And this dad hates clothes shopping above all other types of shopping and is thus very glad to receive socks and briefs.
     And the Doctor Who book is a prezzy from the very thoughtful Anna^.

Well Dodgy Geezah
There is a commuter on the bus that Conrad catches in the morning who looks no different from the hundreds of other commuters, until he gets off the bus and starts walking, as he possesses the most unique walk ever. He keeps his head down, left arm in pocket, throws his right arm forcefully to and fro and twists his shoulders from side to side.  He is easily indentifiable even at night thanks to this unique walk.  Which is extremely rapid, also; Conrad has a long stride and doesn't pause to amble and admire the scenery, but WDG is always streets ahead.
     I say "unique" - well, almost.  I think the only other time I've seen a similar stride was in "The Krays", where Steven Berkoff^^struts around similarly in a manic, carpet-chewing persona.  

Steven strangles the Invisible Man.  Not a chap to mess with.

I imagine the Casting Director was told to look for a "Dodgy Geezer" to cast, and the director told Stephen to go for a "Well Dodgy Geezah" demeanour.
     WDG - we salute you.

A shaduf at a well in Egypt, at Giza.  You have to be nimble with these  to avoid being hit by the bucket.
So.  A well dodging at Giza.  Close enough

     

     Oh Noes!  The herrings of evil have arrived! Run for your lives!  Save yourselves!


* No, BOOJUM! takes no money for positive testimonials.  Marvel Studios, if you're listening, a link to the blog wouldn't go amiss.
** Probably French in origin but - Conrad can't be bothered to look it up.
*** No pun intended
^ Lots of mentions but, NO! you can't have a co-producer credit.
^^ Who is a bit mad.  Not completely or mostly, but definitely a bit.