However, since we are once again in the realm of the visual pun, we must sneak, plastun-style*, behind those World Wide Web Watchers, the Hamstermen, lest they try to intercept us and generally pour sand on our party-sparkler of life.
Hmm. Bit of a strained analogy. Let us proceed with the motley!
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| Snicker! |
Doctor Who Calendar
What was behind Door Number Nineteen? A Silurian. One of the more audience-friendly modern Silurians:
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| It's a MONSTER, not a Sad Misunderstood Lifeform! |
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| Sorry, luv, 180 Db Speakers are pretty rubbish weapons |
The Cheeses -
And thereby hangs a tale. You recall, as it was only Wednesday, the array of food laid out for the Floor Buffet? Yes? And yesterday, too? Well, there was a box of cheeses left that Dom was going to throw out, on the grounds that it had been sitting out of the fridge for two days.
'No!' gasped Conrad in mild horror at the waste. 'I'll eat them!"
And this morning I did.
Unfortunately a few other people spotted me eating these cheeses, so I was obviously - obviously! - forced to send out an e-mail warning folks - eat at your own peril, because you obviously - obviously! - aren't Conrad, with his atomic-powered central disposal-unit**. And here I am twelve hours later perfectly fine, body temperature 47 Degrees, exhaling flourine and phosphorus pentachloride, utterly normal.
I purchased this historical work a couple of months ago, for a few pounds from the ever-reliable Abebooks website. It recounts the history of the division on the Western Front from the beginning of 1917 to the end of the war.
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| The volume I don't have |
Well, so far the number of mistakes is far below 1%. The software apparently had trouble with combinations of numbers and letters, so "2nd" can come out as "54!nd". It also managed to mistranslate the publication that all awards are mentioned in, the "London Gazette", which is in the text as the "London Gazelle"***.
"Fusee"
That one exception that I was going to bore you with. It is mentioned that in a trench-raid, officers will carry "fusees". Naturally Conrad, being both nosey and diligent, wondered what it meant? Could it be a scanning typo which should have read "fuses"?
Well, no. The word applies to what we, one hundred years later, call "flares".
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| Close enough |
Strabo
Erm - sorry, another of those words that popped into my head today.
No, nice guess, but it isn't a contraction of "Strategic Bomber". In fact Strabo is a he, not an it. Unless you didn't like him very much, I suppose.
Anyway, Strabo: a Greek geographer and historian. He travelled extensively in the ancient world during the reign of Augustus, observing people and lands, composing his "Geographica" which is a very effective touchstone for modern scholars of the ancient world.
What is more, this clever chap also hypothesised about the origins of fossils and tectonic movement, and all about 2,000 years ago.
| Strabo. Worthy but dull. Have a MUTANT WEASEL BANANA instead! |
Ah Yes, Lady's Lingerie.
Thank you for being patient. Allow me to illustrate:
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| Katie'snickers^ |
What? Good Lord, you surely didn't expect real ladies in real underwear, did you? This is BOOJUM!, we are family-friendly - er, well, at least SFW.
Also, you cannot trust us to avoid a ghastly pun whenever it presents itself.
* A method of moving covertly used by the Red Army.
** Known as a "stomach" in humans.
*** Hilarious! isn't it! Isn't it? It isn't? O. Must just be me.
^ Nothing to do with Mutley. But - see? See how it all interlinks!
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