By The Power Of -

Pallets

Yeah.  Pallets.

     Sorry if you were expecting a quotation along the lines of "By the power of Grayskull!", which instantly dates you.  Art!

     I'm going to have to explain about this to you lot, aren't I?  Or I'll never get a moment's peace.  Okay, 'He-Man' is the alter-ego of Prince Adam, who is a workshy fop.  He-Man has a full-time job on his hands defending Castle Grayskull and his homeworld Eternia from the forces of evilllll, principally one Skeletor.  Art!

Skelly

     The original cartoon television series came out in 1983 and was so successful that it's been <ahem> 're-imagined' several times.  There was even a film, with Dolph Lundgren in the lead role.  Art!

It won an Oscar for Hairdressing

     This Intro might also have been called "The Fury Of The Forklift!" because what we are looking at here is LOGISTICS! to the elucidation of all.  As you should surely know by now, logistics is the supply of armed forces with whatever they need - usually summed up as 'beans, bullets and boots' by those with a gift for aphorisms.  You need to get the right stuff to the right place in the right amount, which is easier said than done.  Art!

Art!

     This movement of supplies by all NATO armed forces is done by loading via pallets, because this simplifies and makes the logistics process more efficient.  One or two men with a forklift can easily load tons of pre-packed pallets in a short time, and if Art will stop rubbing his Tazer burns -

     This is one of the South Canadian transport aircraft that constitute an air-bridge between their continent and air bases in Germany, and please note the two people visible at work.  Two men, not a hundred sweating grunts.  All the horizontal surfaces are covered in rollers to make the job of loading easy enough for one or two men to shift tons of cargo.  Art?

Ryan McBeth (yes his real name) pointed out another example, used to deliver artillery charges to the battlefield.  Art?  O stop whining!

     Note the pallet.  This load has 36 charge containers, being handled by three men - the two you can see here and the crane operator - rather than thirty-six men handling one container each.  Like I said, efficiency the goal.

     "Yes yes yes, Conrad, logistics blah blah blah efficiency guff guff guff.  Where is this leading?" I hear you ask, and pausing only to raise eyebrows at the lack of any insulting description of Your Humble Scribe, I shall explain further.

     How do the Ruffians manage their logistics?

     Poorly, is the overall analysis.  Conrad has seen countless videos and still photos from their SMO in Ukraine, with a plethora of vehicle types, yet NOT ONE SINGLE FORKLIFT!  The concept of 'palletisation' is completely alien to them.  Art!

     This is how they store ammunition: in wooden boxes, presumably because they have lots of trees, and all those boxes will have been hauled into position by a couple of sweating minions.  When they need to be moved, the sweaty minions will have the thankless task of moving them again.  As is clearly visible, they haven't been stacked with any great care and some have fallen over.  Conrad can tell what you're thinking: this is dated 2010, they MUST be more organised when on an active SMO?

     Er - no.  Art?

     This is why the Ukrainians always capture tons of Russian ammunition: because removing it would have to be done manually, box by box, and it would take ages.  Soldiers from the Red Army of 1942 would instantly recognise this kind of storage, which is not a good thing if your logistics are based on an 80-year old system.  Art!

Pallet is offended

     You know, I bet Ruffian supermarket logistics chains don't even use rollcages.  I know for a fact that Peter The Great had never seen a wheelbarrow before he visited This Sceptred Isle.

Hideously advanced Western technology

     Well, I think we've made Tsar Poutine weep salty tears into his borshcht enough for today.

The Tautology Of Idiots

Another tale from Youtube.  Original Poster's dad had built a wooden cabin out in wilds that he loved, but which neither wifey nor OP cared to visit.  Don't knock people who want a flush toilet and central heating.  Art!

     So they stopped the utilities, until they came to water.  The Water Fascists insisted that the only person who could authorise cessation of supply was the person whose name was on the bill.  Sending in copies of the death certificate, visiting to explain, completing next-of-kin forms, e-mails - nothing swayed the Water Nazis.  So they stopped paying the water bill.  Surprise!  The Water Dictators come back and say they're closing the account, the original bill-payer needed to come in to close the account in person and that's £100 please.

     Here the Malicious Compliance arrives.  OP goes to the Water Jackbooted-Scum and, in front of the entire staff, confirms with an utter jobsworth that the bill-payer needed to be there in person.  Art!

     OP produces one of these and a ceremonial urn containing their father's ashes, then begins to go through the process of summoning the spirits.

     The Director of Water Obstruction Services unglues himself from his seat and the whole thing is sorted out in minutes.  Not before OP informs everyone present how STUPID they had been.

"The Sea Of Sand"

We shall finish the chapter with the tired Teuton staff officers working up plans to move out from Tripoli.

Picking up a pair of dividers, he measured distances across the map.

     "I think the Thirty-Third Recon Battalion can make the running to this place.  Mersa Martuba, way out in the middle of nowhere.  From there they can move north or north-east against the British lines of communication."

     Kapitan Hertz yawned.  Right.  Plot and plan to get a thousand men and all their equipment across the desert to a fly-blown speck of nothingness.  Nothing would probably come of it, anyway.

Twelve: Moving From A To B To A

The Doctor skulked across the beaten path between what he now deemed to be scientific buildings.  He had just been noseying in an archive, of sorts.  Perhaps it was designed to update new arrivals to Earth?  Aliens who came here via trans-mat from their wasted world, unfamiliar with circumstances here.  A refresher course in the wherefore and why.  Yet why would they remain uncertain of what they were leaving and where they were going?

     Staying any longer in the archive would be unwise, given the bio-vores now patrolling or simply accessing buildings.  To have remained there would have been risking discovery.

     There you go, from the prosaic to the not so prosaic.

I Found Another List!

This is from 'Digital Spy', who are pretty indiscreet for an espionage operation.  They had a list of '8 Movie Monster Even Scarier Than Pennywise The Clown From "It"' so let's have Number 8.  Art!

Pazuzu from "The Exorcist"

     Nope.  Not remotely scary, let alone scarier than Pennywise.  It looks like a monkey with sharp teeth to Conrad. 2/10 must try harder.

Finally -

Darling Daughter and Quiet Tom came to visit for Deggsy's birthday yesteryon, principally to help eat two 16" pizzas that were too big to fit whole into the oven.  Wonder Wifey had to trim them to enable cooking, and the trimmed bits alone made a separate pizza.  Art!

Family 2 Pizzas 0

     And with that we (and the pizzas) are done.