Forgive Me For Being A Little Tasteless
However, if you wanted good taste and culture, then you are in altogether the wrong place. Try Uncle Bernie's Victorian Brass Faucet Collectors Blog instead. Don't tell them I sent you, we don't get on.
NO! This is not about '2000AD' nor 'Mach Zero', whatever gave you that idea? Art?
Ah. I see.
No, what I want to talk about in this Intro - what's that? Who is Mach Zero?
O VERY WELL. MACH Zero had his roots in 'MACH 1', which was an acronym for 'Man Activated by Compu-puncture Hyperpower', a process that gave him incredible strength, speed and stamina, aided by a computer implant in his brain. The stories began as a knock-off of "The Six-Million Dollar Man" but became progressively darker in tone. Art!
Not a chap to get on the wrong side of
MACH Zero was an earlier guinea-pig who didn't have a computer implant and who went round the bend.
There. Happy now? Thanks. Thanks so much.
ANYWAY I mentioned that there was scandal involved in the Dallas Area Rapid Transit system. The system had a shortfall of $1 billion, which the executive director tried to skim from other rail projects after ignoring this financial black hole for eight months. The project managers of said rail projects loudly complained, forcing DART to borrow more money. Despite this matey continued in office.
The other scandal was DART board president Lynn Flint Shaw resigning her position. Art!
A train
She owed $7,500 and tried to get out of this debt by using Dallas County District Attorney stationery and forging details, which got her arrested and charged with tampering with government documents. When this got out she resigned her position with DART, which shows a degree of acknowledgement.
This does NOT have a happy ending, because one month after her arrest her husband murdered her and then killed himself in a mutual murder-suicide pact, which is a bit grim. All for $7,500, which can only be a fraction of her annual salary as board president. What was she thinking?
Just to cheer you up a bit
Scambusting
To buck our spirits up a tad, let's get back to Mark Rober and his exposure of scamming arcade games. These are games that pretend to be about skill or speed or strength, but which are nothing of the sort. Art!
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| "Barbercuts" |
Because Mark is nothing if not thorough, he got the operator's manual for each of these games - not sure how he managed that - Art!
- and again found that the arcade sets the jackpot for any number of games played up to 999 before anyone wins. He also found that 'Grab With Claw' games - not sure what the correct genre name for these is, so if Art can oblige -
- the arcade will allow the claw to grab with full strength but then weakens the grip, causing the prize to drop, again thanks to having a pre-selected jackpot number of attempts. Mark recommended grabbing stuff as near the drop chute as possible, as this takes the least amount of time, and you can drop your prize before the claw weakens.
Art! - O - never mind
Beating 5 Scam Arcade Games with Science - YouTube
That's a link to the guide, please please please Subscribe and Like because we cannot risk Mark becoming another Hooded Claw due to low funds.
"The Sea Of Sand"
Yesterday we shifted focus and dwelt, not upon the Doctor, the British army nor the Italians, but newly-arrived staff officers from the Afrika Korps, ashore and planning in the Libyan port of Tripoli.
Their Chief Of Staff, General Von Dem Borne, wanted results quickly, and wouldn't accept any excuses if the plans weren't ready on time. Besides which, General Rommel would be breathing down Von Dem Borne's own neck.
The glamour of Africa, eh? Burning the midnight oil in a pokey little flat requisitioned from the Italians. Tripoli's harbour brought the scent of brine and oil to them, dusky and hot. That, at least, was different from home.
"The British aren't moving forward. We can cut around them, outflank them and move south across the desert, the way they cut off the Italians," commented Brendrecke.
"Please don't mention that in front of the Regio Esercito liaison officer, sir," asked Hertz, pleadingly. "It's a huge embarrassment to them."
Brendrecke gave his subordinate an arch look.
"We're not here to support our Fascist allies because they need us to look splendid in a triumphal march, Kapitan. If their toes are tender enough to dislike being stepped upon it's probably because they spent so much time retreating."
He remembered how the Italians had behaved when the Afrika Korps arrived in Tripoli and paraded with the local Italian forces. Respectful silence for the Germans, rioutous applause for the Italians. Humbug!
That last paragraph is entirely true.
That Cavernous Maw
You will remember, I hope, that Intro Your Humble Scribe did about mobilisation across various time periods. Today I have an addenda to that.
The First Unpleasantness did not end by Christmas, or when the leaves began to fall, and dragged on for years, which went against all military and political expectations. Thus, over time, the standards by which men of mobilisation age were judged dropped, meaning that men who would have been laughed out of the recruiting office in the summer of 1914 were now liable for conscription. You needed to muster millions of men to keep a multi-million man army fully up to strength, after all.
Conrad was minded of a bitter political cartoon by the Teuton artist George Grosz. Art!
"KV" is the Teuton abbreviation for "Kriegsverwendungsfahig" - translated as "Fit for active service", and a satirical prod at the Teuton state's desperate search for more warm bodies to put into uniform.
Hmmmmm reminds me of something, can't quite put my finger on it ...
Needles Not Needless Tunnel
A striking image came up on my log-in screen, it being the 'Needle's Eye Tunnel', which, if Art will oblige -
It's a single-lane tunnel blasted through a rock formation in South Dakota, and you will be as offended as I am that the road sign is missing an apostrophe.
One wonders that they only blasted a single lane through the rock. Hmmmm. I see. It was done in 1922 when cars were a lot less common than they are now, and because Highway 87 is narrow, has lots of bends and doesn't have anything but scenery en route, it's use is almost entirely restricted to tourists.
If you ever visit, be advised that the tunnel is 8' 4" wide and 12' 1" high*. Art!
You're pushing it, matey
Ask A Staggeringly Stupid Question
I have previously mentioned that you get some outstandingly daft questions on the Quora forums, and have provided a couple of exampled. Today I came across a real find.
I'm not sure whether to answer this, and if I do answer, whether to be sensible.
For those unsure, Britain INVENTED the tank in 1916, right in the middle of the First Unpleasantness, so the answer is "No". Art!
Finally -
It is the birthday of Deggsy, so Darling Daughter and Quiet Tom are coming to visit and have tea with us, which will mostly consist of two pizzas the size of dustbin lids (hopefully a lot tastier) and beer. Expect a photograph or two of this event.
* If you need it in Metric THE EXIT DOOR IS THAT WAY!
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