No! This Is Nothing To Do With Stephen King
I know, I know, you were all thinking of "It", which is not to be confused with "It!" because that exclamation mark makes all the difference.
Actually I cheated there, the latter film's full title is "It! The Terror From Beyond Space" and if Art will doff his bowl of coal -
They take liberties with that title, I can tell you, because whilst matey may be a terror, it comes from Mars, not 'beyond space', as if there is such a place, unless you're talking cosmology and eschatology. In what may have inspired "Alien" this unwanted passenger on the rocket back to Earth shrugs off everything the crew throw at it, incidentally killing lots of them en route, until they finally suit up and evacuate all air, suffocating it. No, you don't get a spoiler-alert, the film's 64 years old for Kreplach's sake! Art!
 |
| Note lack of opposable digits |
Where were we? O yes - the titular monster from "It", which usually presents itself as 'Pennywise the Dancing Clown', because apparently Mister King sat down and tried to think of what scared children the most, and he came up with CLOWNS*! Art!
 |
| So many teeth! |
I guess there's a reason why 'Coulrophobia' exists. Certainly, a clown out of context is very unsettling and as mentioned in the asterisks below, this is a topic we may come back to, rather than waste it over a few lines here.
 |
| Good luck to his dentist |
As you should surely know by now, this is nothing to do with the rest of the Intro, which deals with bad timekeeping and stupid HR staff, because once again we look at a tale of Malicious Compliance.
The night shift arrived 5 to 10 minutes early to get things set up for assembly, and finished at 05:00 the next morning, when the day shift should have turned up. Day shift were idle bumbletucks who were always at least 10 minutes late, meaning OP and his team waited for them to turn up before leaving.
Next day the night shift clocked off promptly at 05:00 having shut the line down, meaning that day shift turned up their regular 10 minutes late, and had to start everything from scratch, causing a delay in production of 45 minutes.
 |
| Happy workers |
I believe the South Canadian version is "Stepping over dollars to pick up cents" which I'm sure you'll agree lacks the catchiness of today's title.
I Say Crikey Dick Van Dikey!
You know Conrad, a very sad man who goes looking in the Beers, Wines and Spirits section of Morrison's to see if there are any interesting cans or bottles that can sustain a pun. Yesteryon we found - Art!
 |
| Zombie Juice! |
All is not well, however. On checking the ingredients Conrad discovered that it's flavoured with PINEAPPLE, the one foodstuff that he loathes beyond reason. I shall crack it and smack it but may have to barrack** it. And then pour it down the drain.
More Fnorping Crossword
Conrad is mighty glad Dot Sayers wasn't in charge of Cryptic Crossword compilations, or I'd never have gotten interested in them. Have another clue and see what you make of it. "Oh to what ears the chink of gold was sweet! The greed for treasure brought him but defeat (5)".
Go on, be honest, would you have got that one?
As an aside, surely if Ol' Midas turned EVERYTHING he touched into gold, he'd suffocate in seconds as his lungs became lined with gold particles that had been air scant seconds before? Of course, I may be overthinking this ...
"The Sea Of Sand"
As you should surely recall, last we visited this fanfiction the Doctor had sabotaged the bio-vores trans-mat platform, and their leader was very cross.
One of the Lead Technicians came to report.
"Impulsor circuitry failure, Detachment Leader. Perhaps ten to twelve hours to repair, test and re-seal."
"Nine hours maximum!" ordered Sorbusa, aware that the technicians always gave themselves leeway with deadlines.
He consoled himself with the satisfied thought that the messenger had at least gotten through to the Homeworld.
Uncharacteristically, he stopped to brood about his far distant and long-departed home. After five thousand years, how would civilisation have fared? Were there still survivors? Perhaps the trans-mat there only continued to operate on geo-thermal power, long-forgotten by a long-dead race, and this Detachment, on Target World Seventeen, were the sole survivors of his race.
The Detachment, after all, had agreed to remain here, where potential sources of biomorphic energy might proliferate, instead of returning home to a planetary wasteland suffering from a terminal biomass decline. Endless vistas of grey dust and sand, from what he remembered. With the emergency plantations struggling to survive in the barrens.
Morbid thoughts.
"Nine hours maximum!" snapped Sorbusa.
Safe beneath his dune, the Doctor remained there until all frantic activity had died down, being replaced by more measured action.
Searchers being replaced by patrols. Probably. Time to emerge!
A dark desert night greeted him, stars twinkling down from the heavens, their light nearly lost in the gentle glow that surrounded the newly-activated buildings of the complex.
Bio-vores beware, the Doctor is onto you and plotting mischief!
Let's Continue With The Theme Of Outer Space
Another astronomical photograph from the BBC's page about a competition. Art!
"In The Embrace Of A Green Lady" by Filip Hrebrenda
This is the winner from the "Aurora" classification and shows the Aurora Borealis over Iceland. Pretty 'Wow!' here in the UK but Conrad bets they're all pretty blase about it in Iceland.
Finally -
Edna is in the doghouse for some reason, I heard Wonder Wifey calling her a 'Bad dog!' a short while ago, and then her getting shut out of the lounge. Predictably she came to seek sanctuary with Conrad in his Sekrit Layr, putting on the Desperately Despondent Dog look. Hearing Wonder Wifey's voice again, asking if she was up here, off she bolted. I shall now go find out why she was chastised.
* We may come back to this theme
** In the sense of 'to insult or abuse'
No comments:
Post a Comment