Robinson Of Sherwood

DON'T Accuse Of A Typo

Conrad knows what you're thinking, not because I still have that D.A.R.P.A. prototype telepathy helmet (I did return it, honestly), but rather because you all have glass heads when it comes to headlines.

     NO this is nothing to do with "Robin Of Sherwood", a television series from many years ago that Conrad never bothered with, although - hang on, hang on, let's get Art earning his coal -

     I do recall seeing one scene where one of the 'Merry Men' informs Robin that, as part of the English army campaigning in France, they would burn and loot anything they could lay their hands on.  Robin not convinced this is the way to win friends and influence people.

     No, the 'Robinson' in question is Lance-Sergeant Jack Robinson winner of the Military Medal, and the 'Sherwood' refers to the Sherwood Rangers Yeomanry, one of the premier British armoured regiments of the Second Unpleasantness.  I bring this up because -

     I got this yesteryon, and had been aware of it for a good few months, as I'd heard Ol' Jim banging on about it on the "We Have Ways" podcast.  The book covers the SRW from D-Day onwards until the end of the war in Europe.  So from June 1944 to May 1945.   What about the preceding years, you ask?  PATIENCE!  We'll get to them in good time.

     I have several books that deal with the Sherwood's already, one of the best being Stanley Christopherson's wartime journals, edited by Ol' Jim himself, as "An Englishman At War".  Art!

     There's also a memoir by Miles Hildyard, although he doesn't stay with the regiment.  Art!

     Both these works cover the whole of the Second Unpleasantness.  For the SRY in North Africa one need go no further than Keith Douglas and "Alamein To Zem-Zem", with the incorrigible Keith re-joining his regiment from HQ in Cairo by the simple expedient of stealing a truck and driving out to them post-Alamein.  My edition also has quick pencil sketches he made of events at the time, adding to the spontaneity of his narrative.

     Then there are two books of the regiment fighting from D-Day onwards.  One by Stuart Hill - Art!

     That single photo encapsulates the misery of war in autumn and winter - rainy, wet, muddy and generally depressing, even without the enemy trying to kill you.  Then there is David Render's work.  Art!

     Unquestionably the best book about British armoured tactics written by someone with a worms-eye view of same.

     The missing years that Ol' Jim doesn't cover mean that his work is only 600 pages long; if he'd tried to cover everything it would be at least treble that.  To be brief, the Sherwoods began the Second Unpleasantness as a horsed cavalry regiment that wouldn't have looked out of place in the First Unpleasantness.  They were sent to Palestine via France, to carry out policing duties, only to be de-horsed after an embarrassing stampede that caused immense damage.  As infantry they remained in Palestine, now doing guard duties.  Then in 1941 they were converted to artillery, taking part in the siege of Tobruk and with a detachment sent to Crete, from where few returned.  Later still they converted to tanks and they stayed an armoured formation to war's end, gratefully as apart from paratroopers I don't think there was anything else they could have converted to.  Art!

Sergeant Dring and crew

     There's a funny story about that name.  One of the squadron's officers had told the Sergeant that the tank had been officially named 'Achilles' and could he get one of the crew to paint it on?  He certainly could but the lad was not up on his Greek mythology and had to guess what the spelling was.  In fact he wasn't far off; Sgt. Dring and his crew accounted for eighteen Panzers in their time.

     Hmmm.  I only meant this to be a paragraph or two.  Ooops.

     Motley!  Have you cleaned out the fish

The Haul

Yesteryon saw Conrad venturing forth into Oldham, and paying a visit to Sainsbo's, my old employer.  Because they are the only source of reasonably-priced loose-leaf Darjeeling tea, before you ask.  Art!

     I can hear you now.  "Conrad, why did you buy six packets of tea?"

     Because that's all there were on the shelf.  You can't see it but I also got a jar of Sainsbo's own-brand reduced-salt Marmite.

Conrad's Guilty Pleasure

No!  The one that's SFW.  First we need a picture.  Art!

     That's a packet of 'Kim Chi' Korean noodle soup as done per Conrad.  In my version I omit a lot of the stock, add in a sliced mushroom, some diced ham and an egg.  I leave the whole thing once it's cooked so the noodles soak up most of the stock and the egg cooks.  Delicious and surprisingly filling, even if it is utter junk.

"The Sea Of Sand"

As you ought to recall, the Doctor was observing the alien bio-vores getting themselves organised, when he's struck by an idea.  Let's see what it was.

Detachment Leader Sorbusa adopted his familiar martial stance, one footweb braced on the shrivelled remnants of Sub-Leader Emdoko.  

     The Sub-Leader definitely deserved to be Eviscerated, in that he'd not ordered the factory brain to produce a series of Transport Cars.  Sorbusa himself hadn't ordered that himself, either.  However, he did want to instil a feeling of respectful fear and awe amongst the Detachment.  

     Sub-Leader Pakmiro now stood to attention in front of Sorbusa.

     "Sub-Leader, order the factory to produce three Transport Cars, carrying capacity ten persons.  Mount a cannon upon each one."

     Pakmiro bowed smartly, then scurried off to perform his task, propelled by the proper degree of fear.  Sorbusa felt happier about that; properly awed minions were less likely to challenge and kill him.

     One of the Detachment Technicians came up to him, cringing appropriately.

     "Detachment Leader, we have prepared a technician to go through the Trans-mat.  He awaits your orders.'

     Sorbusa made his way to the Trans-mat Platform, where a Technician was waiting.  In his hand was a scroll of wafer-thin glass, inscribed with details of what the Detachment knew about the world they had emerged into.  Not much, really.  Still, they hadn't been awake for even a whole day yet.

     These bio-vores seem to be utter cads, don't they?  One can only hope the Doctor sticks a very large, very solid spanner in their works.

More Of Post-Apocalyptic Film Recommendations From Cultured Vultures

We'll have a look at a tranche of three here, two seen and one unseen.  Art!

     Good lord, "Zombieland" is 14 years old?  I know objectively that I am old, but that makes me feel ancient.  I remember Darling Daughter watching it with me and laughing like a drain.  It's very entertaining and so is the sequel <fond sigh> although Conrad is wondering why they had an obsolete British Chieftain tank in the background at the beginning?  Art!

"No you can't have an Abrams!"

     "Stakeland" was an excellent corrective to all that slushy emo aren't-vampires-just-so-sexy bilge.  Their vampires were mindless leeches more akin to a mobile plague than Bela Lugosi.  Very good for such a low-budget film.  Art!

     "A Quiet Place": Nope, haven't seen it and the premise seems extremely silly to Your Humble Scribe.  Not going to bother unless I've had too much gin.

     I did come across a novel called "The Silence" by Tim Lebbon yesterday, with a plot that must surely have been poached by AQP, as it was published in 2015 <stares accusingly at AQP>.

Finally -

I think a shave is in order, Conrad looks faintly scruffy with stubble rather than a cool rock'n'roll rebel.