A Long Shot

Okay, You Need Some Film Knowledge Here

Waaaaaay back in the dim and distant past, before there was an internet, before there was even a D.A.R.P.A., they made films on celluloid.  This was a stable version far less dangerous than the old (really old) nitro-cellulose, which was horribly unsafe and liable to explode if so much as a spark came into contact with it -

     

     Which, of course - obviously! - has nothing to do with what I wanted to talk about.  Okay, we are looking at 1960 and a film called "The Magnificent Seven", which was actually Hollywood's adaptation of a classic Japanese film "The Seven Samurai".  Crikey.  A film older than I am.  Have we all got that?  Splendid!

     Let us now jump back in time even further, because - yes, yes, we are changing subjects again, do keep up! - we are dealing with "The Mandalorian" once more, and the episode "The Tragedy".  Sorry for so many "the"s.  No spoilers, much.  So, here's Boba Fett, who dons Mandalorian armour and you have to give the props people - er - props - for managing to convey age and hard useage in the armour as much as Boba himself.  Then!  Art -

Two birds with one stone

     Mando immediately congratulates Boba on his accuracy, as it's not easy to shoot down two shuttles with one missile.

     "I was aiming for the other one," deapans Boba.

     CLANG CLANG CLANG! went the sirens in Conrad's head.  Or should that be 'bells'?  An alarm went off, anyway.

     "I see they're paying space-western homage to "The Magnificent Seven"," I mused.   Art!

       Allow me to poach from IMDB's Quotes page for this scene:

[Britt has just shot a fleeing bandit off his horse]

Chico: Ah, that was the greatest shot I've ever seen.

Britt: The worst! I was aiming at the horse.

     It was a hit at a couple of hundred yards, an ambitious shot for a man with a rifle, never mind a short-barrelled revolver.  Hey, they're not called "magnificent" for nothing!

     Conrad hasn't seen the frankly un-necessary 2016 remake and is actually quite annoyed by it, since it mucked up my Google search results.

Conrad: jowly, scowly and entirely unamused.

A Momentary Lapse Of Reason

No!  Not the Pink Floyd album.  Be sensible, if it was then it would be inside quotation marks and in Fuscia, wouldn't it?

     No, I refer to an hilarious transcription on a Reddit Youtube "Malicious Compliance" story, from Australia.  Hilarious to anyone not present at the time, that is.  The backstory was that a small office within a larger warehouse needed to be demolished, the warehouse itself being one of three units within a sub-divided larger one.  Problem number one: no tools or equipment suitable for demolition.

This kind of thing

     "Oh, just smash it with a forklift," said the manager.  In front of witnesses.

     The Original Poster then set about slowly crushing the office walls, before starting on the roof, at which point he got called away elsewhere.  Problem number two: some idiot decides to carry on where OP left off.  He smashed the roof apart, whereupon there was an enormous BANG and the sprinkler system began flushing disgusting 20-year old water over the whole warehouse; the office roof had contained piping that connected to the fire-protection system.

Think lots of these.  LOTS.

     The sediment-laden slimy glop thoroughly contaminated the whole warehouse, including not only basic production materials but loads of finished product.  Oooh, that's expensive!

     Then they heard the sirens.  A fall in the water pressure had automatically sent emergency notification to the Fire Brigade, who arrived expecting a major explosive incident with ethanol and alcohol fires (some of those production materials).  Understandably, they were not pleased with what had actually happened, which also meant the company would be paying a fine.  Oooh, even more expensive!

"Charge! - O - wait -"

     The FB had to locate the valve that controlled water cut-off.  It wasn't in the warehouse so they had to break into the other warehouse units to locate it.  Oooh, even more expensive property damage!

     OP's manager, realising that he'd set this chain of disasters in motion, helped to hush the whole thing up.  Nobody was fired, not even him.

     No mention is made of the warehouse company's name, though Conrad suspects you could probably Google it with enough diligence*.


I Saw This And Thought Of You

Nothing about Treelaw today; I think the item above contains enough human stupidity for one day.  No, allow me to present a photograph, if Art will leave his bowl of coal alone for long enough.

     Levitating ballfoot-game players?  Probably not.  Conrad suspects that a cameraman got a shot at exactly the right moment, when four players were in the air simultaneously.  It's unclear here if the ball is coming at them, or if one of those inclined heads projected it away from them.

     And don't ask silly questions about which teams they are.  Conrad has no idea and cares less.  Lesser Sneddlepool and You Knighted**.

 

A Twist I Did Not See Coming

Not in the sense of the Eddie Izzard sketch, where he is spoofing "Tales Of The Unexpected", and relates " - he opened the door - and the pig ate him!" which, whilst unexpected, is also cheating, rather.  "And then a gamma-ray burster exploded only a few light years from Earth and destroyed everyone and everything happily ever after".  See?  Unexpected, and also deeply unsatisfying.  You cannot simply pull a plot element like that out of your nether fundament.

Say hello to my little friend

     However, we are not here to discuss astronomy (that's tomorrow), but "Le Mort D'Arthur", where I have hit page 602.  Only 200 more to go! and things have taken an overtly religious tone, with almost all the knights of the Round Table declaring, alongside Sir Galahad, that they will venture out to find the Holy Grail, or "Sangreal".  King Art is unhappy at their swearing binding oaths upon this quest, as he fears they will all get the chop.  Conrad unsure why.  Perhaps he was just a bit liverish and hung-over?

     Anyway, prior to this we have been told that Sir Launcelot Du Lake was the finest knight in all the lands, tales of derring-do, jousting, helping the weak and downtrodden - whoops no.  NO!  Suddenly he's a knavish churl (or a churlish knave) because he hasn't been religious enough.

You'll have trouble finding a kebab big enough, mate

     So, suddenly, 3/4 through the whole book our concepts of morality and righteousness are turned on their heads?  Hmmmmm.  Conrad not enthused.  He suspects Sir Tom (the author, do keep up!) was getting close to pegging it in prison and wanted the good Lord to see him in a favourable light.  Not only that, another knight stole Sir L's horse, harness, armour and sword in the night; but, because he's a religious man, he gets away with it.   Double standards, Tom, double standards!

Double standards

     In the sense of "flag".  We've touched on religion already, no need to add politics to the mix ...

*  Which I don't have.

**  See how clever I am?  I made both these names up.  You'd never guess, would you?