The Meknificent Seven

I Warned You!

You could say that today's post is an example of how "N.B.C." became "A.B.C.", whilst having nothing at all to do with South Canadian television stations. For today we are going to look at one of 2000AD's older series, because they used to occasionally promote it with today's title.  Ladies, gentlemen and those unsure, I give you - the A.B.C Warriors!  Art?

     Here let us jump from the year 2000 - because the ABCs came out in 1979, when 2000 was the far future - back to ooooh 1975, at the height of the Cold War*.  Back then, Vulnavia, we had weapons classed as "Nuclear, Bacterial and Chemical" hence the abbreviation N.B.C.  Things like the W33 nuclear artillery shell, weaponised botulinus toxin and, of course, nerve gas.  You may shudder in relief that things never kicked off in Europe, given the cocktail of death above.

SO much bang for your buck.

     It was the Sinisters, and their lackeys in the Warsaw Pact, who described these things as "Weapons of Mass Destruction", and Your Humble Scribe is baffled why we use their description when they lost.
     ANYWAY the Warriors came with a nice mnemonic "A.B.C.", because creator Pat Mills liked symmetry like that.  "Atomic, Bacterial and Chemical" because these chaps were robots, you see, who were utterly unphased by germ warfare, gasses or radiation, and thus proof against them.  Possibly not a nuke if they sat atop it when it popped, and Conrad posits that they must have specially hardened electronics to avoid electro-magnetic pulse damage -

Artwork by Dave Gibbons
(You see, he did more than just "Watchmen")

     From left to right they are: Joe Pineapples (because pineapples are the Devil's fruit), Happy Shrapnel, Deadlock, Hammerstein, Mongrol, The Mess (in a canister on Mongrol's shoulder) and Blacklock.
     My intention originally was to describe each character with a picture, which would probably have taken up the entire blog for today, so Conrad thinks we'll leave it there for today.  Oh, and if anyone here dares admit to seeing the 1995 version of "Judge Dredd" <winces> then Hammerstein makes a brief appearance, for no good reason other than he looks cool.  Art!

His gizzards look a bit exposed for a combat robot

     Motley, did you know that ABC Television here in This Sceptred Isle were responsible for "Callan"?

Everything is connected to everything else

"We Have Ways"

Yesteryon I was describing how Jim ("James Holland" to his mum) and Al ("Big Hairy Git" to his mum) were chatting about Jim's recently-acquired 'Pixie suit', which was 1954 vintage but which looked completely unchanged from the version as used by Perfidious Albion's tank crews in North-West Europe, from 1944 to 1945.  Jim then went on to describe the leather jerkin as also used by whomsoever in the British army could lay their hands upon one, for it was a coveted piece of kit.  Art!

     This photo is so good it must have been staged; here we see Highland troops (you can tell by the Tam-o-shanters they are wearing) clad cosily in leather jerkins.  This section also sports Lee-Enfield rifles, a Sten submachine gun (slung over the back of chap to starboard), a Bren light machine-gun at centre, and that piece of pipe is actually a P.I.A.T anti-tank weapon.

     The jerkin kept your torso warm, as it was lined with fleece, and because it lacked sleeves, you can move your arms around freely, as Jim explained (he has an original one) and pointed out if you're throwing grenades or digging a slit trench or raising a rifle, you need to be able to raise arms with rapidity.

Obviously up to no good

     Al was certainly interested in this piece of apparel, but also said he would probably have to purchase a modern replica, as arriving back at home with a piece of "Stinky, wrinkly" clothing that he " - only paid £400 for" would not sit very well.  To Jim's resigned statement that his was beginning to show signs of wear, a Twitter commentator explained that working vaseline into the leather helped to both preserve and waterproof it.

You Think You're Having A Bad Day

Think again, gentle reader!  For Lo! we are back on "Le Mort D'Arthur" and the mystical bent continues, with Book Fourteen focussing on the hapless Sir Percivale, who is someone to emulate thanks to his being a virgin, and thus pure and unsullied and unwordly, unlike wicked Sir Launcelot**.

     It seems the forces of darkness have it in for Sir Per, because after having lost his own horse, he is 'given' one by a random lady at the roadside.  This black beast then takes off across the landscape at several hundred miles per hour, until it is about to cross a river in spate. Art!

     Feeling in mortal peril, Sir Per crosses himself, which instantly causes the demon horse to throw him off (Christian affirmation like this thwarts demonic plans every time) and hurl itself into the raging torrent.  Nowadays he'd probably be charged and fined for animal abuse ...
     So, now Sir Per is alone, unmounted, in a barren wilderness, without any succour or the means to get any.  At least this is the Pond Of Eden, he's not going to die from dehydration!

     We shall come back to the unlucky Sir Per.

Definitely done for animal abuse

"Dudgeon"

Not a word one encounters very often in the modern world.  Conrad sat there, pondering on Sir Per's fate, thinking that the man would be absolutely entitled to sit there in a state of 'high dudgeon', given all the unlikely things he has suffered.  Yes yes yes - but where does it come from?

     There's the thing; neither my Collins Concise nor teh interwebz can come up with a source, beyond saying that it arrived in English in the late 15th Century.  Nor is there anything in my Brewer's Dictionary of Phrase and Fable.  I confess myself stumped.  O well, let's just use "enraged", "cantankerous" and "Frothing Nitric Ire" instead.  I think those three cover all bases.

     Leaving you in a state of low to middling dudgeon, I can tell you that we are done!  Done done done!

* Tsar Putin's favourite year

**  Sir L was having it away with Queen Guenevere, after all.