Perhaps I Should Have Put A Comma In There
And it's not really the complete phrase, either. But you didn't come here for logic, common-sense and the rigourous application of grammar, did you? If you did, then THE EXIT DOOR IS THAT WAY. Thank you. O and Blogger? "Rigourous" is the correct spelling NONE OF YOUR SOUTH CANADIAN SPELLCHECK NONSENSE. Thank you again.
You see, I have been reading a Youtube channel that asked the question "What design features are added by engineers because people are idiots?" and it transpires that half of all mechanical and industrial design is concerned with exactly this: the fear of imbeciles accidentally killing themselves with a motorised runcible spoon.
Clearly an engineer of ... Eeeeevil!
Cue a long series of articles about how mechanical engineers and designers work in safety features to their end product, and as many articles about how the idiot artisans using heavy industrial plant tried (and on occasion succeeded) in getting round all those "tiresome timewasting profit-curbing" safety features. Art!The intrinsically terrifying Spoon, Runcible
That above is a press plant for making metal spoons, which had two separate "Go" buttons that had to be pressed, both widely separated, so that no idiot operator could press both whilst still having their hands in the danger zone.
The operators taped both buttons down so they could work faster.
Management, finding that employees who had less than ten fingers and thumbs were becoming more numerous, asked for the safety features to be rejigged. So the mechanics added a foot pedal, which had to be trodden down as the "Go" buttons were being pressed.
The operators kept the pedal down by weighing it with heavy objects.
Management, beginning to find grey hairs at their morning brush and comb, ordered that safety features be added that prevented any workarounds. So the machinery will not work unless the "Go" buttons have been pressed again after a batch of spoons has been made.
Success! You can now purchase metal spoons not contaminated with the crushed and bloodied body parts of impatient artisans.
Mostly.
The Blood Donor
No! I am not talking about that classic comedy sketch featuring Tony Hancock, as written by <thinks> some talented chaps, because if I was, then there would be quotation marks and it would be in Bold Fuschia, wouldn't it? Do trust us to have at least a little internal consistency.
For Lo! we are back on the subject of "Le Mort D'Arthur"*, and for those who are mortally sick of the subject, be reassured! for there are only 130-odd pages to go. Then it can wing it's way to Shelli, who was intemperate enough to politely express an interest when I floated the subject on Facebook.
As I believe I have noted before, from Book Thirteen there is a notable shift in tone, which leads Conrad to wonder if Sir Tom (the author - do keep up!) wasn't trying to curry a favour or two from the good Lord, having realised his own Mortal Coil Shuffle wasn't far off.
"Well, it's still nicer than the Chateau D'If."
ANYWAY here are three knights of the Round Table, which is also described as the Table Round <out of stock at Ikea>, Sir Percivale, Sir Galahad and Sir Bors, and Sir Per's sister, whom doesn't rate highly enough to get a name**. Trot trot trot they go, past a castle whereupon divers knights come forth and demand that Sir Per's sister (hereafter "SPS" for brevity) render up her blood, sufficient enough to fill up 'a dish'. From the way events unfold later, methinks this is more a 'bucket' than a 'dish', and of course our gallant trio refuse. Much carnage ensues, with the castle's knights getting a good shoeing, for our trio are mighty in battle and had the sun behind them.
When all the dust and gore has settled, only THEN do the surviving castle knights tell the story of why, exactly, they wanted SPS to render up a lot of the human go-juice. Couldn't they have done this first? And avoided a whole lot of carnage? Really, Sir Tom, some of this plotting leaves a lot to be desired - almost as sloppy as "Batwoman"***.Sir Bors
<Insert Severn joke here>
Am I Still Angry?
YES! For nothing stokes up Your Humble Scribe's anger-gland more than Codeword compilers who skate right up to the logical limit, and then, thumbing their noses, cross the line. Here we are again. What am I fomenting about?
"PESETA". It's not an English word. We don't even use it as an import. No, this repellent species of specie is an obsolete form of currency as used in Spain until 2002. So, we are expected to have a knowledge of historical foreign currency markets, are we? And a coinage that vanished nineteen years ago?
"STET": Again, Conrad is awesome at Codewords, so of course - obviously! - he got this one, only because it's cropped up in Cryptic crosswords over the past year. As I remember, it's a printer's instruction that gets added to manuscripts before printing, meaning (I think) 'Ignore this correction and go with the original". Should I bother checking up on it? - O go on then, you have an appealing smile.BAH!
Yes, it means exactly what I thought it meant. YOU DOG BUNS DASTARDLY DIRTY CURS!
"EFT": Curses, Vulnavia, right for the wrong reasons! Your Humble Scribe is familiar with the Woosterism "Eftsoons" and thought this was a diminutive or root of same. Not a bit. An 'eft' is, would you believe it, the archaic term for a newt. Not only that, there is no entry in my Collins Concise for 'eftsoons' so either Plum made it up (entirely possible) or it requires a deeper delve into etymology. Art!
Hmmmmmmm. Well, I'm feeling generous after working out how to take over Central Asia in only twenty-five moves and using only fifteen nuclear weapons, five magpies and a tin of jam, so you can have that one. THIS TIME, Art. Next transgression and we'll see how functional this here Agony Booth is, which I built according to guidelines found on the dark web.Art!
Are we done? We so surely are!
* See? Emboldened and in Fuschia.
** This is the complete opposite of "The Virginian"
*** Vicious but fair.
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