Because Why Not?
The British loved having India as part of their empire because 1) It was sunny and hot, 2) Their food is remarkable, 3) They volunteered to serve in the Army and fought like tigers and 4) All the other strategic shizzle that goes along with Great Power politics. But especially Number 1).
Not given away in cereal boxes
The British Army in India was a frequent destination for officers who didn't have any kind of private income, as the cost of living out there was considerably cheaper than back in the UK, plus you had hot sunny weather and Indian food. British troops out there picked up all kinds of Indian words and adopted them, such as "Bundook" which they took to mean "gun", or, in Hindi - बंदूक.
Of course there was "Char" for tea, which has carried over into everyday English and many industrial locations here in the UK were graced with a "charlady" whose job it was to trundle round a trolley and an industrial-sized teapot.
Conrad's Darjeeling is prepped
During the Second Unpleasantness, the British government bought up the entire Indian tea crop, because we'd have lost otherwise.
ANYWAY there was also the word "Jaldi", usually barked at lower ranks not performing hard enough as in " "JALDI JALDI!" yelled the Sergeant-Major". Not forgetting the famous "Khaki" as in the uniform colour, coming from "Soil-coloured", which was the intention as it meant being able to blend in with the background. Art!
Hmmmm. Perhaps not in an urban environment, chaps?
Motley! Time for a gentle and tasty vindaloo. I'll let you go first.
The Haul
Your Humble Scribe had quite forgotten that he'd ordered another book, which arrived on Friday, because I'd already got the one about British pillboxes on the Western Front during the First Unpleasantness. This one is by the same author, and covers all three of the major combatants - O go on, we'll count Belgium in - all four of the major combatants. The Yanks arrived too late to indulge in much pillbox construction, and the Italians, Russians and Portuguese weren't present in sufficient numbers to count*. Art!
Oops. Sorry that one's gone sideways. Art!
There you go. This is the Fort Loncin, destroyed when the Teutons brought up their monstrous 42 cm <hack spit> siege howitzers and commenced shelling these Belgian fortifications. Loncin was destroyed and the entire garrison killed when a shell penetrated the ferro-concrete and blew up the magazine. Mister Oldham explains that these forts were constructed rather shoddily with low-performance concrete that was simply not up to the job; only 560 pounds of cement per cubic yard "suitable for modern-day light foundations". The French forts at Verdun, by contrast, used better designs and had a lot more cement present - 900 pounds per cubic yard, which meant they withstood the bombardments they suffered.
That's the French Fort Vaux, bloodied, battered but unbroken**. So concrete comes in different varieties - who knew! You will doubtless be getting various updates as Your Humble Scribe trawls valiantly through this work.
Be A Ware
I just wanted to add a little explanation to my earlier comments about Jonathan Ware, military historian. He takes a story that I have seen in at least two different places, supposedly reported in exactly the same way by two different tank units (one Canuckistanian, if memory serves). The story goes something like this:
A Panther
Commenter: So, how do you knock out a Panther tank?
Tank Commander: There's only one way. You sneak up to within ten yards, hit the mantlet on the front of the turret, and the anti-tank round will deflect downwards into the thinly-armoured decking, penetrating the tank and knocking it out.
Commenter: O I see. That sounds tricky. Has anyone ever done it?
Tank Commander: Yes, Gunner Haskins managed it last week.
Commenter: I see! Where is he?
Tank Commander: Ten miles back in the rear, recovering. His nerves are shot.
This has no doubt been uncritically repeated across websites and books (DOUBTLESS it's in Max Hasting's stuff). However, as Jonathan explained, it was actually a joke (yes, your average British soldier had a ghoulish sense of humour), which had been circulating around British Churchill units in Normandy, and since he is big on Churchills in Normandy, he discovered this.
<sighs deeply> Conrad gets the feeling that he might have to put Jon's stuff on his List Of Things To Buy <wallet squeaks in panic>.
Conrad: Officially A Very Sad Man
Yes, but we knew that already. As ever, Your Humble Scribe went on the weekly shop on Wednesday and, as ever, went looking at the aisles of bottled beer with a keen eye. Not for want of beer, rather to see what their labels say or present. To see if they can be used on BOOJUM! Art?
But not apparently light of hand. So, I have the bottle and a picture - which will have to be re-shot as a shuddery shaky shot is - yes, well, not very good. What can I come up with as a pun? That's the question. I can think of a couple of possibilities: "Operation Lightfoot", part of the battle of El Alamein, or perhaps "Thunderbolt And Lightfoot", that film with Jeff Bridges and Clint Eastwood. Or a man whose superpower is glowing leg-ends?
Finally -
I wanted to post a little more detail on The Impending Asteroid Apocalypse, because some of you will be worried about it after I yarked on about Apophis, and how it's massively unlikely to come anywhere near Earth. Doubtless there are swivel-eyed loonwaffles banging on even now about how Apophis is going to impact in three days time and we're all doomed doomed doomed.
Yes, Private Frazer; but only eventually.
The thing is: time. If we can identify that a Near Earth Object is going to become a Near Earth Impactor before the event, we can take precautions. Given an impact site, it can be evacuated, if there's insufficient time left for an interception. If the lead time is years, then we can mount an interception mission to muck about with the NEO. Drag it off course even slightly by using the mass of the intercepting probe to act as an attractor. Paint it, because that will cause a differential in absorbed sunlight and affect trajectory. Hook a solar sail to it, and have it gradually be dragged off the impact orbit. Or, the one I like the most, land a probe designed around a gigaton-yield thermonuclear warhead, and set it off. Then repeat a couple of times.
OF course, the critical bit here is having enough of a warning. So -
* Because I say so is why.
** Please read about before making any "Cheese-eating surrender monkey" comments.
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