One In The Eye For Spy Versus Spy

No!  I Do Not Mean The "Mad" Magazine Comic Strip
Probably because half you readers out there would have no idea what I was talking about, which would be balanced by the South Canadian amongst you being contrarily pretty clued-up, which strikes me as being rather unfair <sniggers evilly>.
     Allow Art to display what I'm not talking about - 

Thus

     As you can see, these guys are fighting the Cold War, even though it finished 28 years ago (Spoiler Alert: the Sinisters lost).  There is never any dialogue and victory switches alternately between the two.  The creator, Alex Prohias, was a Cuban satirical artist whom escaped from Castro's Cuba just ahead of being declared a spy himself, and then made a killing (no pun intended) with his strip about - spies.  Irony made solid.
     Talking about our Slavic chums, Conrad read a sidebar on the Beeb's website with immense satisfaction.  Art?

Why indeed?

      Perhaps because the Ruffian police have high standards when it comes to music?  As you ought to already know, Conrad is an intolerant narrow-minded bigot when it comes to music: what I like is automatically awesome and what I dislike is irredeemable sonic sewage.  Thus leider, country & western and rap all get Filed Under Bin.  Those making such a din will be well advised to get a different job when I take over.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q-jsXGLysCU

     There you go, a link to the Red Army Choir singing songs.  Fearfully reactionary, I know, but infinitely preferable to reciting doggerel over music you've nicked from someone else.  Besides, they have accordions - one can never have too much accordion in one's life - and balalaikas.

All the accordions all the time!

     We got a bit off-track there, didn't we?
     Spies and spying, that's what I wanted to blather on about tonight.  This has been sparked by an item on that font of all that's fit to be writ, the BBC.  Art?

     How do you become a spy in the digital age?  You apply to MI5, MI6 or GCHQ is how.  Just don't expect it to be anything like James Bond.  You DID know that James Bond and all his ilk are fiction?  As Ian Fleming (creator of James Bond and not someone  I mentioned at random) stated, in the real world Ol' Jim would last about 24 hours -

 - o wow, currently watching 'Doctor Who' and yes, they seem to be filming it in a quarry, except it's the world's grimmest, most sinister, greyest quarry ever, obviously they used to mine Despair and Misery here - 

The sunnier version

     Where were we?  Oh yes - spies.
     The thing is, there is no obvious set of criteria if you want to help Perfidious Albion be extra-specially Perfidious and be a spy.  Having a striking profile, a fondness for gambling and an addiction to stirred martinis are not very helpful.  To be a spy you need to blend in, become part of the background, not stand out, be grey and forgettable, etcetera etcetera, which makes for extraordinarily dull cinema.  If you want a fictional introduction that counterbalances Mr. Fleming, I recommend some John Le Carre.  Like Ian, he had been involved in <ahem> what they euphemistically call "Intelligence", although his works are somewhat more realistic.

MI6 HQ

     Okay, let Conrad take his intellect for a trot and see if he'd make a good human spy.
     Observe the building above.  Notice that the entrance faces outwards, away from the buildings on either side (though this view actually hides it), so there's no way to watch or monitor who enters or leaves.  The entrance cannot be directly observed, either, since there's a load of railway lines and trees that interrupt line of sight.  The rear faces onto the River Thames, where any eavesdropping boat would immediately be detected.  No risk of any Ruffians sitting there taking film or photographs of the staff!

"Employment with a river view"

     During the Cold War, numerous agents behind the Iron Curtain worked for MI6, rather than the South Canadians, because they felt an affinity with the organisation's moral purpose, which is an interesting insight - going for the ethical high ground rather than $$$.
     Or, there's GCHQ.  Conrad's familiarity with the logic behind crosswords and codewords would probably stand him in good stead there, dealing with cryptography and ciphers.  Sorry, no handguns issued to staff.
     You might, with benefit, go Google the term "Sir Francis Walsingham", who was pretty much the personal embodiment of Perfidious Albion, making perfidy close to an art form.
     That was back in 1588, and we've only gotten better at it since ...

Seeing off the Spanish Armade, 1588
<yawns dismissively>