Standing up for the underdog. Or maybe I'm just perverse. Or odd (delete where applicable).
 |
| Okayyyyyy, Odd it is, then |
For yes! we are back to helping run the Mordor Tourist Board. Yes, getting tourists into the most dread land in all Middle-Earth is a hard sell, but what's life without a challenge?
I did hint at getting LARPers into Mordor, and then had to explain what Live Action Role Playing is. Okay, imagine how you'd pitch it on Youtube -
"LARPers! Do you want an environment already filled with obstacles, pits, craters, bottomless ravines and endless ash? Look no further than MORDOR! We can accommodate parties of up to 50 on the gate, or up to 70 if booked in advance. Prop weapons also available. Orc hirelings will work for food or bottled water. Please note, due to the nature of the Plateau of Gorgoroth, a disclaimer needs to be signed if you wish to use the ruins of Barad-Dur. CAUTION! Do NOT pick up any ring-shaped objects during your Mordor Experience, as loss of soul can cause problems later in life."
 |
| There's raw potential in - MORDOR! |
You could also quietly get in touch with waste-disposal companies, especially the ones that deal in toxic waste, because - well, need I mention all those bottomless ravines again? No questions asked about exactly what you want to drop into them, and let's face it, Health and Safety aren't going to be popping round every week to check them out.
Okay, time to see if the motley's home-made fireproof suit (20 layers of tinfoil) will stand up to a flamethrower!*
| Destined for dumping ... |
Disrespectfully Naughty
You may not have heard of 'Deeper Dorset', a sports diving group based in Sweden - no, just testing, based in Dorset. They have recently discovered the location of a Hercules that may have been shot down in 1969, after a drunk aircraft technician stole it - it's a long story.
That's not what I want to mention here. Deeper Dorset were also the first sports divers to locate the wreck of the SS Miniota, a steamship that was torpedoed and sunk in the First Unpleasantness. Art?
It does say "General cargo", which is a bit of an euphimism, since it was actually carrying silver bullion. Despite a good ten minutes searching on teh interwebz I cannot find a picture of the Miniota, so that shot from Youtube will have to do.
Ah, yes, about that silver - it was long gone when Deeper Dorset came across the wreck. Mr. Knott, of DD, believes that professional salvors found the wreck first and emptied it of the silver, without reporting their find or their dirty deeds.
Bad salvors! Naughty salvors! No biscuit for you!
 |
| That's about £10 in today's currency. Bargain! |
One wonders exactly what they did with the silver. It's not as if you could exchange it for money own the local branch of whatever bank they used. A nice problem to have, one feels.
And now - PEDIGREE PIG BREEDI - no, sorry, I think we got confused with an alternative reality where Conrad is a farmer or similar. If Hugh Everett was right with his Many Worlds concept of quantum physics, then this is a distinct possibility.
Where was I? Oh yes - another present. Art?
Hopefully the video will work this time. I did try to load it early Friday morning so I could add it onto the blog whilst at work, except it vanished completely. Damn those hamster saboteurs! Let me just log onto BOOJUM! in a separate window and test it under Preview - Hmmm. The picture comes up but it won't play. Probably not until it moves from Draft to Published. There, I bet you never realised the immense complexity of making a blog, did you?
Endless Fun With Dick And Harry
Okay, I confess I nicked that from "Top Cat". Spook and Choo-Choo explain to Top Cat that they'd found a book about a wild party, with everything from an aardvark to a zylophone present, and it was called "Under A Bridge With Dick And Harry". Their leader acidly replied that what they'd found was in fact an "Unabridged Dictionary".
 |
| The gang, with nemesis Officer Dibble |
Here an aside. The fact that these cats are barely literate is worthy of mention, as is Top Cat's much greater skill with words - clearly he knows what a dictionary is, and what it's used for. Those of you who cavil at their being able to speak colloquial South Canadian are uncivlised boors lacking the ability to suspend belief.
Here another aside. I can have however many asides I want, it's MY blog, thank you very much. Can I continue now? Thank you so very much.* Officer Dibble, the policeman above, has permeated culture here in the Pond of Eden so much that youth slang for a policeman is "the Dibble". Conrad, with his imposing stature and unsmiling countenance, has been mistaken for same on several occasions.
 |
| Not this one, however. |
Yes, yes, I'm getting to the point. The point is - and you may skip the next few lines because it consists of an old man complaining - Conrad came across the word "Vincible" in a Codeword he did yesterday.
"Is that even a real word?" I complained silently to myself, as I was on the bus and it is bad manners to scare your fellow commuter.
Cue reference to my Collins Concise dictionary (a farewell present from Tameside Children's Services). Yes, it is a word <cross face> but the lexicographers also appended "Rare" in the definition, so Codeword compilers were not being exactly fair <even crosser face>.
 |
| This is for you, Codeword compilers |
Finally -
I just needed another 12 words to hit the ton, and here they are. Now for some food, another pot of tea, a dogwalk and a constitutional into Royton.
* If not, then that's dinner sorted.
** That was irony.
No comments:
Post a Comment