Make Mine Manchester

Or, If You Want To Be Informal - 

 - Gomorrah-on-the-Irwell.  

     Yes, Manchester, cradle of the Industrial Revolution and the Hacienda and <thinks> a variety of tart?  Not to mention the Avro Manchester, a variety of bomber which was the unsuccessful precursor to the Avro Lancaster, which latter we here at BOOJUM! know and love as one of Perfidious Albion's Giant Flying Mallets of -

     But we digress.

Manchester Tart.  Far too much custard for Conrad's liking.

     What I meant to say was that, whilst looking out from the windows of the Dark Tower's uppermost storeys, a poetic conceit hit me hard.

     This is rather worrying, since Conrad possesses all the poetic sentiment of a - Art?

Septic sump

     Quite.  Septic sump, adamantine asset, iron lion, etcetera etcetera.

     My point was, if Budapest can be considered as the "City of Cathedrals", and Paris considered as the "City of Lights", and Valletta the "City of Culture" - although might not Luxembourg, capital of Luxembourg, contest that "City of Lights" thing, as the name "Luxembourg" means "City of Lights" in French -

     - if there is any justice, Manchester will be henceforth known as the "City of Grey".  Art?

No!  They are light reflections, not UFOs.

     There is that about the city that seems to suck all the bright light from a day, and transform it into - well, "night" being too dark, "Dusk".  Today was especially true: the floor lighting stayed on all day long.

     Manchester - City of Grey, yes indeed, and also inorndinately high electricity bills.

     Now to throw the motley into the harbour and pursue it with volleys of hand grenades!

A Moment Of Minor Triumph

One of the traditions around here is that, on Boxing Day, the extended family (which amounts to about 18 people) go bowling, which is probably the most strenuous exercise that your humble scribe ever gets.  Not to mention being the only time he ever goes bowling.
     And my, my - what's this? 

You can guess whom "Doctor Doom-ish" is, can't you?

     O, just Conrad WINNING WINNING WINNING.
     Am I being a bit triumphalist?  if so, I don't care.  Not one bit.

Kilian Eng
Hmmm.  Conrad is unsure quite what "Kilian Eng" is.  I came across the term whilst checking out artwork for putting up against "Forbidden Planet", and am uncertain if it is a man, a woman or a committee.*  Googling does not help further refine the term.  Shall we put up some artwork?  Yes, Art, we shall.

Come to Arrakis!  meet the sandworms!  and die!**

  Ol' Kil seems to work in the genre field, being principally concerned with science-fiction stuffs.  Take a gander at this one -

The most depressing film imaginable.  SPOILER!
(Everyone dies)

     I'd have to poke around a lot more to determine what Ol' Kil is, except I'm typing this at work, so I don't have any such opportunity - work begins in 120 seconds!
     Just a few more words to get us up to 500 before lunch -

Nicky Gets A Hickey
No doubt some of my stodgier Ruffian readers will object strenuously at my referring to the Tsar of all the Russias His Imperial Excellence Wearing A Turkey On His Head (it's true!) Nicholas, as "Nicky".  Presumably they will also be even more horrified that I used a South Canadian colloquialism to denote his army's getting a bit of a shoeing.

Okay, it's not the Tzar - but they do have a turkey on their head!

     For yes, as you no doubt guessed, we are back on the subject of the Russo-Japanese War and the first major land engagement, the Battle of the Yalu River.  Art?

Sorry for lack of photographs

      The Ruffians had confidently expected to win this, hands down, being more a kind of military exercise with live ammunition.  It was not to be.
     For one thing, the Japanese outnumbered their opponent by 2:1, they exploited the terrain and weather, and the Ruffian general in charge, Zasulich, was an idiot.  The Sons of Nippon used pontoon bridges to cross the Yalu, then hit the Ruffians at a weak spot on the flank.  Collapse of stout party, Ruffians in headlong retreat, Japanese riding tall in the saddle and pretty pleased with themselves.
     It was not going to get better for our Slavic chums.  O no!

Sad Tsar Putin is - sad.

Finally -
Oho.  "Eight Magical Places In Fiction", eh?

     Do they have Mordor on that list?  After all, nobody said that the magic in question had to be made out of Fluffy Bunnies and Rainbows, did they?
     Conrad, out of sheer perverseness, would like to take a trip to the ex-realm of Sauron, as you really cannot trust those lying, deceitful hobbits to tell the truth about anything.  History, you know, is written by the victors, and since they (that is, the hobbits) won you can bet your last dinari that they obfuscated everything they did wrong.  And Sauron wasn't around to defend himself, was he?  No presumption of a trial - highly suspicious, in my opinion.

Mordor: more sinned against.

     Mordor: you might describe it as "alternatively landscaped", with a "sub-tropical climate" and "unspoiled fields", which have been left "untouched by human hands".*** The really big question, of course, is - do they have Wi-fi service there?





*  Man From UNCLE reference there.  Apropos THRUSH.
**  Horribly.
*** Orcs don't count as human, right?