Bennu And The Jets

No! That Is NOT A Typo
Really, I feel like reaching down the ethernet and punching your solar plexus into a nexus.  Bar those words that Conrad creates out of thin air, which confuses the somewhat dim spellchecker on Blogger, you will not find typos on BOOJUM!  
     Although, the track "Bennie and the Jets" is indeed a fine track from a fine album, namely "Goodbye Yellow Brick Road" by Elton (Hercules) John.  He even gets namechecked by Blue Oyster Cult in their live version of -

Music's most workaholic musician

     But I digress in a digression.
     The more scientifically aware of you out there will be aware that NASA have successfully reached the asteroid 'Bennu' with their robotic probe OSIRIS-Rex, and how do you think it got there and manoeuvred?  Dead right, with a set of jets.
     Which brings us to the Pub Quiz.  "Will Bennu collide with Earth?" asked Steve, the Quizmaster, to which Conrad scornfully responded "No", only for the answer to be "Yes".
     It's about as vague and distant a "Yes" as you can get, since the probability is 0.0004% at some point over a hundred years hence.  

The asteroid Ben - no, hang on -

     "Carping, Conrad, does not become you.  Mind you, not much of your behaviour does," I hear you comment.
     Pausing only to assert that I got up and offered my seat to two ladies on the bus last night - an O Boy! is there a whole other story there - you need to know that a Near Earth Object such as Bennu needs to be carefully observed over time to work out it's future trajectory, to see if it will become an Near Earth Impactor.  If the potential impact is a over a century away, then that trajectory is subject to change, from the gravity of other planets, other asteroids or things like outgassing from Bennu itself.  A very minor change in a decade or two will cause Bennu to miss Earth by an enormous margin by the time a full hundred years have rolled by.

Elton's hit single - no, wait - dammit, Art!

     Of course, Hom. Sap. could interfere a little along the way, by landing a (jet-guided!) robot probe on the asteroid's surface and then detonating the thermonuclear payload it carries.  That would work, as you we have the technology to achieve it, except it would probably need a whole lot of chin-wagging at the UN before either the Ruffians or the Populous Dictatorship agree.
     Hmmm.  That's a lot of text generated by a simple "Yes".  Your humble scribe is either creative or verbose.
     Now let us loose this pack of starving chihuahuas upon the motley, and see what happens!

Oh well.  We got lots of motleys.

If First Bus -
Had been given the contract to send a robot probe to Bennu, they'd still be mucking about with flocks of hummingbirds harnessed to a sledge, or trying to build the world's tallest ladder.
     "Forsooth, Conrad!  What can have aroused your Frothing Nitric Ire?" I hear you ask.  "Or is it Sulphuric Ire today?"

Apollo prototype
(First Bus version)

     You can mock.  Last night 4 out of 5 buses that should have turned up failed to, and the one that did - at peak time, mind you - was a single-decker minibus.  Rammed as it was, and aged as my legs are, I still did the decent thing and offered up my seat.
     The bus driver, who seemed a tad ashamed at the level of service on offer, explained that 30 buses had failed to leave their depots that morning, that 15 of the 409 service (which I catch) wouldn't be running that evening, and that First Bus were withdrawing buses from service without replacing them.

A Rara Avis indeed.*

     Thus we are looking at a bus company without any buses.  This would be a good thing, because then we passengers wouldn't have to wait around at bus stops in the fervent hope that a Public Service Vehicle might turn up.
     There, I feel better for having had a good vent.

Apollo 11 prototype
(First Bus model)

Enough of such stuff.  Let us now discuss <thinks> FORENSIC CHARTERED ACCOUNTANCY QUALIFICATIONS!
     Hmmm.  Maybe not.  Sounds a bit dull.  I know - as of late, if in doubt, whistle up the Big Meg. 

HELLTREKKERS
This was a one-off series in 2000AD, which must have been good as I still remember it.  
     In background, have I mentioned that life in Mega-City One is a bit <ahem> okay, a lot, Dystopian?  To the extent that people are willing to risk their lives to get away from it and begin anew in the New Territories, even when the odds are that most of any expedition will - er - die.  
     So begins the Rudd Trek, where 28 rad-wagons attempt to make it by driving to the New Territories.  Art?

CAUTION!  Very low mileage.

     These things are built like tanks, and have to be, as they will encounter acid rain, dinosaurs (a long story in itself), radioactive clouds, hostile mutants, killer diseases and a Fatal Supernatural Force that never once reveals itself.
     28 wagons and 111 trekkers set out, and only 16 trekkers make it to the New Territories, which is apparently not bad as survival rates go.

Lead character Luke

     Of course lots of smartarse fans immediately demanded to know why these folks didn't just fly to the New Territories, thus saving themselves all that bother.  For the same reason Judge Dredd wasn't able to fly over the Cursed Earth and deliver medical supplies to Mega-City Two: lethal atmospheric conditions, quite capable of destroying an aircraft in flight, not to mention that there are Pteranondons loose out in the wild, and they take a dim, territorially-inspired view of interloping aircraft.
     Besides, a script that reads:  GET ON AIRCRAFT
FLY
GET OFF AIRCRAFT
 - doesn't really have any dramatic tension to it, does it?

Those dinosaurs I mentioned.

     I suppose the Rudd Trek puts my waiting 30 minutes for a bus and the subsequent journey into perspective a bit!


*  Latin for "Something very uncommon"