Killer Robots That BREW TEA!

I Know What You're Thinking -

And no, this is nothing to do with that 'Doctor Who' epic "The Robots Of Death", wherein excruciatingly polite robots with impeccable Received English pronunciations murder their way to world domination.  Well, almost.  Anyway, it's not your world, so I don't know why you're so bothered.  Art?

A Robot of Death.  Or - perhaps just a really bad headache instead?

     Since the denizens of this world rely upon robots to perform menial tasks, you can bet that they'd get laboured with making the tea.  Doing the dishes afterwards, too.

     Okay, enough of what this post is not about. Let us see what it really is about.

     Recall yesterday's coverage of the BBC squeaking in terror at the thought of robots going to war, guided via remote control as they are at present, or  - horrors! - going off on their own thanks to having an artificial intelligence running them.  You can see their point: at what point might a mobile murder machine begin to think that, What The Heck, all these pink squishy things look and sound alike - let's get rid of them ALL!*

The wedge's thin end.  And - isn't "Sunnyvale" rather - er - incongruous?

     Flash back to the mobile metal murder machine on tracks, being guided via a remote link, which Art can supply.  Art?

     This is a Warrior, an Armoured Fighting Vehicle that belongs in Perfidious Albion's armed forces.  You might think of it as a light tank with a crew of three than can carry an infantry section - unless it's a Killer Robot, in which case the human component = 0%.

     Which is where the tea comes in.  You see, all the armoured vehicles designed by the engineers of Perfidious Albion come with a "Vessel, Boiling", in which one can brew tea for the whole vehicle, as well as boil up rations for them, as well as any scrounging South Canadians who have discovered this useful fact.  Art?

Boiling vessles

     This fact alone has enabled British armoured formations to triumph o'er the foe when outnumbered, outgunned and outmanoeuvred.  When David Fletcher at Bovington Tank Museum goes on about the mighty Tiger tank, or the formidable Panther tank, you ought to stop him and ask - "David, matey - do they have a Boiling Vessel?"

     So, imagine your autonomous thirty-ton mobile metal murder machine, having annihilated the opposition, reeking of cordite, gun barrels glowing red-hot, rolling up beside the nearest Allied human unit and, using it's external speaker, asking

     "HELLO PUNY HUMANS WOULD YOU LIKE A CUPPA?"

Getting there

"Mackenna's Gold"
The film that keeps on giving.  Conrad did a bit more digging about J. Lee. Thompson's magnum opus, and - would you believe it!  The film was something of a flop in South Canada <sad face> but was far more successful globally, including a couple of unlikely markets.
     The first we shall mention is - India.  MKG (for thus I shall dub it) was a massive hit there when it was released, and kept on being popular up into the early Nineties, when it was only deposed with the release of such as "Jurassic Park".

Indian cinematic cliché

     The other market was - the Soviet Union!
     Yes, really!  MKG was a massive hit there.  It does make sense when you stop to think about it, because nearly all the cast are frothingly insane about GOLD FEVER!  and this is what naked capitalism looks like.  EVIL EVIL CAPITALISM!!
     At least that's what the Sinister Union's leaders would have been thinking.  As for your average man in the street, he'd be basking in the vicarious enjoyment of a baking hot climate and environment, as outside the cinema it was -350C.  The average teenager would be letching at Julie Newmar, mind you.

Just barely SFW

     Then there's another location where they shot MKG: Medford, Oregon.  Except I can't find a ready picture, I'm on my lunch at work and I don't have time to go ferreting around.**  Use your imagination, it'll be good mental exercise.

Vicious, Malicious And Meretricious
That's me!  All the sounds of sneer, you might say.  Recently it was Darling Daughter's birthday, and Conrad being Conrad (at least 85% of the time) he just had to come up with a piece of hilarious doggerel as it applied to DD.
     And here it is.  SIT BACK DOWN!

There once was woman young and wise.

They said "She has her father's eyes."

She kept them in a jar, next to her paints.

This young woman was not one of the saints.

 

There once was a woman young and pretty.

But as for her morals, O! the pity.

She would do you in without a first thought.

She was clever, too, and never got caught.

 

There once was a woman young and arty.

The salubrious soul of many a party.

But she overdid it and so got into fights.

And once strangled a nun with a pair of tights.

 

There once was a woman young and shapely.

The rest of the world didn't interest her, greatly.

For she hated everyone and also everything else.

And would only talk to her sentient pet whelks.

     What makes it really hilarious is that DD is about as far from the above as it's possible to get.  Tee hee!***

*  This is poetic licence, since I'm pretttttty sure an emotionless robot wouldn't emphasise that last and add in an exclamation mark.
**  I suspect it was the Yellow River ferry scenes, but that is a guess.
***  She is still talking to me.