Jesterday

No!  NO NO NO!
This is not some ghastly homage aimed at that bleating paean to self-pity by Sir Long-in-the-tooth Marijuana-fan.*
     No.  No, indeed, for today we skirt the dangerous and turbid waters of REALITY, and also Conrad's As Yet Un-Named Employer.  
     Picture, if you will, small children playing around the sun-smitten fountain of a village square, as butterflies sip nectar and dogs gambol in the shadows, and -
     -  we abruptly change scene, as that above has 0% to do with this.

     QUICKLY!!  CHECK YOUR COLD WATER TANK FOR THE PRESENCE OF KILLER EELS!  THEY LIKE TO HIDE THERE WHEN THE WEATHER GETS COLD - DO IT NOW AND SAVE YOUR LIFE!

                                             Killer Eels! No - hang on -

     Yes.  Yes, indeed, for what does your humble scribe do in his job but action forms sent in by e-mail.
     The thing is, said forms can be gamboozled at source in any of at least one hundred and eighty seven-thousand ways, thus ending up entirely cabbaged at our end.  I apologise for using complicated technical language here, but it's deserved.  
     Thus to the jest (and today's title) as this occurred in work yesterday.  "We are," I loudly declared in an attempt to mimic Oscar Wilde, " - trying to action the incomprehensible, sent in by the insensible."
     Further of jest.  "We shall continue to have problems with ENTITY THAT CAN NOT BE SPECIFICALLY IDENTIFIED as long as they employ a three-year old with a wax crayon to do all their admin paperwork."
     Well, it amused me.
     Now to cram the motley into a beachball and kick it across Bondi Beach!**

A beach.  Might even be Bondi.

Mondo Bondo
That word triggered a recall.  Conrad has read "Mystery Men", flagship of 'Flaming Carrot' comics and source material for the film, which treated it rather in a kind of "kind of" way, and he distinctly remembers a character called "Bondo Man".
     This is the problem with my memory.  Can I remember my National Insurance Number?  Mobile phone number?  Facebook password?  NO I CANNOT!  But O Yea Verily I remember an obscure comic book character from an obscure comic read years and years ago.  Art?

From "They Cloned Hitler's Boots"

     That's the chap right there.  "Bondo" is apparently a generic name in South Canada for a type of general-purpose putty used in vehicle repairs.  One wonders if Bondo Man merely covers himself in the stuff for protective purposes, or if he is indeed a sentient, man-shaped mass of Bondo, and if the latter, how did he manage to acquire both sentience and sufficient mass?
     Of course, I may be overthinking this ...

Thus

More Of Overkill
Actually, let me just go get some lunch together, as your humble scribe has been propelled forward only by a couple of slices of toast.  Don't go away -
     - don't worry, you're not going to get pictures of what I'm eating and drinking.***
     For yes, we are back on "Defiance", an account of a Royal Field Artillery brigade during the First Unpleasantness.  Towards the end of this work we are treated to an account of the hectic advance of Perfidious Albion's armies, hindered mostly by Teuton rearguards of machine-gunners.

About to give someone the good news.

     At one point the author and his CO (coyly anonymous but I shall find out his name) are out in front at an observation post, when the colonel spots the dust and smoke raised by a Teuton machine-gun, hidden in the upper room of a distant house.  Using the OP's telephone, he has one of his guns fire a couple of ranging shots, until they score a direct hit on the house with their third shell.
     Then, being a bit Perfidious and thoroughly Albiony, he has the whole battery fire twenty rounds into the house, just to be sure.  Collapse of stout party, and house.

The British were here.

     By the way, I should apologise for yesteryon's post being both later and shorter than usual, a consequence of being in the office and thus not getting home until shortly after 6 post meridian.  Come next week I shall be back in the Dark Tower <sad face> so we shall jolly well see what kind of impact that has on the production and posting of my Wonder Words of Wit and Wisdom.

Coming soon: the best kind of stick to defend yourself with if you happen to be cornered by either zombies, Martian Rock Snakes or KILLER EELS!


*   "Yesterday" @ The Beatles  <Conrad's hates and fears can be tricky to decipher, so thanks to Mister Hand>
**  When the tide's out.  Safety first.
*** Fermented smoke shark and nitromethane aren't very picturesque, anyway.