My Bloody Feet ...

Hist!  Yes, The Blog Is Still Safe For Work
When I use the word "bloody" it's no mere vulgarism, it refers to a state of hideous gore, splashed liberally around the landscape, dripping off the trees and clotting on your boots.  Real Lady MacBeth stuff.
     "Really, how interesting, oh my is that the time I - " I hear you say.  SIT BACK DOWN!
     I can also use blood in a metaphorical sense, or as an analogy, which is what I am doing tonight.  See?  No need to cower in fear.  Not tonight, anyway.  Tomorrow -
     Anyway, let us now examine socks.
     I realise this might seem faintly pathetic after the gruesome lead up, but bear with me, for these are NO ORDINARY SOCKS!

     You see?  You see where "My Bloody Feet" comes from?  
     Now, these are very obviously a splendid pair of socks, oh yes indeed, although I do tend to forget to notify and/or alarm folks at work about them - not in the eyeline, you understand.  Out of sight, out of mind, to coin a phrase*.
     Conrad is also unsure about that film title.  You could get away with that kind of thing in the Seventies, when you could also order shotguns out of mail-order catalogues, but I rather suspect that the Health and Safety industry would have plenty to say on the subject today.
     Art?  Stop sucking that Landrover sump and get to work!

CAUTION!!  Consumption of vampiric bodily fluids can have harmful side-effects.  If you notice your incisors lengthening, become allergic to sunlight or develop hideously un-natural cravings**, consult your GP.  Seeing a priest might be helpful, too.

Bon appetit!

Today's Cake -
Is actually yesterday's muffins.  The ingredients had been sitting around since last Wednesday, so Conrad's erratic and misguided conscience gave him a belated kick in the nethers to get moving on them.
     Here they are, the rascals -

Another 10 just out of shot

     At over 20, rather more than the recipe instructed.  The difference, one presumes, between a cupcake case and a muffin one.  They required a fair bit of babying, too, thanks to our Wonder Oven Of Unpredictability.  Gluten free.  And being held in reserve for the ganterpies at work this Friday.

This Chap Got A Workout Today
If you have any memory of yesterday - given that it is less than 24 hours ago you really OUGHT to have - you will recall me introducing the Blood Beast, who today got royally terrorised.

Almost turned into puree

     Every time our loathsome phone application froze, Conrad grabbed hold of Blood Beast and SQUEEZED THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS OUT OF HIM.  He's already looking a bit battered around the stalk and might not survive to the end of this week.
     I'll get back to you on that.

O Carol
I don't know if Carol will be reading the blog tonight, although she has nervously shuffled closer and closer to doing this over the past week.  If you are reading this tonight, Carol, thank you for visiting!  Come back soon!  Tell all your friends!  Tell <Mister Hand intervenes to prevent a disgustingly self-indulgent back-slapping session> Bannister.  Sorry, "bannister".

THIS STAIRWAY IS DANGEROUS!
IT DOES NOT HAVE A BANNISTER!

     Carol, for your information, is a work colleague with the infuriating-yet-amusing habit of not finishing her sentences.  She will start, full of vigour, then become hesitant, and then tail off -
     Conrad, of course, always takes the conversational bait and jumps right in to ask for the anecdote to be finished, the punchline to be delivered and the damsel to be rescued.  Not all simultaneously, you understand.  That would be asking rather too much.
     Now, to show you what I mean, I will give

You What?
Ah, me, there are certain constants in life.  Water remains wet, First Bus are late, and the Twits suggest ridiculous posts that your gifted author has no interest in.  Or - well, take this one:

A lot of blather about solar panels

     Take yesterday as an example.  It was probably the least sunny Sunday of the year and we're only 32 days in.  How, ponders Conrad, do you generate solar power WHEN THERE'S NO DOG BUNS SUN!!
      A minor technical point, perhaps, yet one that bears study.

"The History of the 51st (Highland) Division"
A bit of a non-news story, this.  Conrad has been threshing the pages of this volume back and forth to try and find mention of specific German units, and a singularly unproductive task it has been, too.  Well over half-way through and about six units identified.
     One thing that does emerge is the Scot's thorough respect for their frequent opponents, the Bavarians.  Unlike the Wurtemburgers - a bunch of softies - or the Prussians - liable to play dirty - the Bavarians come over as stout lads indeed, always up for a scrap, but honourable and well-behaved with it.
     Here's a Bavarian picture:

Okay, okay, where are the solar panels?

* That, by wild coincidence, applies also to Conrad himself.
** Like Nutella on crepe suzettes.