The Creation Of An Appreciation Of Ratiocination

 That'll Get You -
 - thumbing through your dictionaries.  Shall I short-cut the process?  Oh go on then.  You should be familiar already with the first two long words, TUT! if you're not, but "Ratiocination" refers to "Reasoned thought", derived from - obviously! - the Latin "Ratiocinare" - "To reason".

      Reason, logic and common-sense all being rare to non-existent here on the blog (see below for proof), you may well wonder why we mention Reasoned Thought at all.  Well, because it allows Conrad to add in a few words from and about one of his favourite authors, Philip K. Dick.
     I was originally going to feature his surname in the title, until realising that whatever I put was going to sound rude, and we do cherish our SFW status here at BOOJUM!  Anyway, enough talking Dick - er - you see what I mean? and let's quote him:

"In the centre of an irrational universe governed by an irrational mind stands rational man"

      There you go, ratiocination.  Any more to say on the subject, Phil?

"I was talking about humans, Conrad, humans.  Not you."

My Fortune Is Made!
I may therefore retire to an island in the South Pacific and live out a life of indolent ease, dining on breadfruit and papaya, content to let the world pass me by as I read through my metric tonne of books, sipping Darjeeling tea hand-brewed by exotic maidens, listening to Pink Floyd playing live*.
     Hmmm.  Perhaps I jump the gun.  When I say "My fortune is made!" what I mean is "Naval and Military Press are going to pay me millions!".  Which in turn means "Perhaps Naval and Military Press will pay me" which in turn becomes "Okay I've finished typing up my long-hand Index of the History of the 51st Highland Division."
     I have indeed.  It's only taken 10 months to manage, though it has been very much on the back-burner for a few of those.
     My next step, one supposes, is to proof it.  That is, to look up a small selection - what's that?  it can't be a small selection it has to be the whole index?  Birdsweat.  Okay, once proofed, the step after that would be to send a polite letter to N&M telling them what I've created.
     Whether they bother to reply is quite another matter.  After all, if they did add an Index to the book it would increase the page count and almost certainly the price, which might drive down demand.  Although it might yet attract hair-splitting anal-retentive pedants, that market is probably rather small.
     So - we shall see!

Field-spotter's guide: the hair-splitting anal-retentive pedant in it's natural plumage

"Can't Buy A Thrill" - By Steely Dan
Yes, your humble scribe has been re-listening to this album, SD's debut, and a corker it is, too.  Not a duff track on it.  And the guitar work on "Reeling In The Years"!  Conrad, ever one for mucking around with words and language, appreciates Fagen and Becker's lyrical whiz and artistry.  Not entirely sure that "Kings" doesn't refer to Richard Nixon in some way, although I haven't worked out how, quite.  "Brooklyn Owes The Charmer Under Me" makes more sense when you realise it's F & B writing about the deserving guy living in the apartment underneath theirs.

Yes, the artwork is a little - er - strident

     Also, "Can't Buy A Thrill"?  I think that depends on what one defines "a thrill" as, since no doubt my tastes and your differ radically.  For instance, Conrad would love to be given the opportunity to get behind the big brass handles of a Vickers Gun and loose off a full belt of 250 boat-tailed .303 rounds, whereas some of you would pay to travel a long way in the opposite direction.
     Finally - SD also did "Countdown To Ecstacy", which rather contradicts the title for "Can't Buy A Thrill".  Come on chaps, make your minds up!

Too many words!  More pictures!

Very Well Then
Do you remember this chap?  He came up as a picture in one of my regurgitated posts.

Sebulba.  Unpleasant plonker

     Then take a look at this -

" - z cebulka"
It's the "z" that makes all the difference!

     I think that's pronounced "Sebulka".  Raw fish pickled in vinegar and oil, if you care to know, kind of like a Slavic rollmop.
     Coincidence?  Or not?  Only you can judge**!

People Unable To Thrill
I hope I'm not offending Alison here, as this is a copy of her post on Facebook which your modest artisan kind of imposed upon.  Art?

Yes, that is your gifted author.  Looking entirely un-thrilled

     You will notice that I was subtle enough to scroll her name out of the picture.  However, that's a rather small photo of Conrad, so perhaps a bigger one will prove the point:

     This is Conrad expressing raw emotion of the most intense - ah, who am I kidding, old fish-face looks as expressive as coal.
     I wonder, is there anything that would animate the septic semi-senile sausage?***
     "Oh - Conrad!  We've got you time on the range with a Vickers Gun and 250 rounds of boat-tailed ammunition to go with it!"

     Ouch!  Blimey, I think the un-thrilled version is better.  Please don't let small children or sensitive adults view the above.  

Disclaimer:  any mental trauma suffered in viewing this blog is purely your own affair, and we're dirt poor so suing is useless.


* As my army of paid assassins hold their families hostage
** Actually you can't, I do the judging round here and I say it's a coincidence, so it is.
*** Quality insults courtesy of Mister Hand