First of all, the blog does have a SFW reputation to uphold. Secondly, the vision of Conrad's hairy underside - white-haired at that - would probably strike onlookers if not blind, then severely vision-impaired.
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| Conrad, mercifully from the neck up |
Now, to get back to The History Of The Peloponnesian War, at - sorry, what's that?
"You can't just leave us hanging like that, Conrad!" I hear you complaining. "Explain!"
Actually I could leave you hanging like that. I'm horrid that way. To continue, Thucydides always splits the year - oh what now!
"We've taken hostages! We want an explanation!"
<picture your humble scribe muttering darkly>
This comes from my ramblings about the song "Aja" from the record of the same name, recorded by Steely Dan in 1977. The depth and complexity of the song and it's recording make for interesting reading, and here's a link:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aja_(song)
The core of SD, Fagen and Becker, obviously went to a great deal of trouble to get things exactly right. Not just good, The Best. So yesterday I wrote out a phrase that reflected this: In Pursuit Of Sonic Excellence: Nothing Else Will Do
There's the evidence right there. Either I am gifted or perverse*: the phrase made a pronouncable acronym, although it's not one you can use in polite company. And it's served for today's Intro.
Where'd It Go?
Last night your modest artisan watched a BBC video with jaw-dropping incredulity. An arms dealer had been convicted for six years, guilty of supplying another man with illegal firearms.
Four hundred and forty three of them.
A police spokesman talked a Beeb journalist through the collection, Conrad being able to ID many of them - a Sten, an SA80, a Colt .45, an MP34, a Steyr TMP, a Bren Gun - in an unending procession.
"Wow, that would go down well on the blog!" thought Conrad, his palms sweating and drooling a little at the prospect of all those guns, all those big bright shiny guns, lots and lots of -
- er yes, back on track. The article has vanished! Dog Buns, not a trace of it anywhere to link to or take screenshots of.
Well, have a picture of a Steyr Solothurn MP38 as compensation.
| One of hundreds of guns, bright shiny guns, lots and - |
The Difference Between Cat And Dog
This should be readily apparent in terms of appearance, dear audience, as otherwise you are in for a fearful surprise when next you take Slasher, Ripper or Mangler to the vets.
What I mean is the behaviour of the above. Your humble scribe no sooner sets down his tray of books on the kitchen table than - Surprise! Jenny turns up.
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| Jenny, also sitting down |
Edna, in contrast, will attempt to sit on the comfy, well-padded human cushion that is Conrad, letting him know that she is disgusted with his lack of attention, play skills and walking by letting out loud huffs.
So she ends up next to the books, rather than on them, which is appreciated by this grumpy old man.
How "Funny" Transmutes To "Grim"
Conrad sat impatiently, a dog-shaped hot water bottle on his lap, waiting for "Police Interceptors" to come on. One of his guilty pleasures, don't you know. What was on before it? One of those collections of video clips featuring people suffering injuries whilst being either unfortunate or stupid, overlaid with a snivellingly unfunny narrative by a Penk**. You know the sort of thing:"After 18 cans of beer, Chuck gets his shotguns out! What can possibly go wrong? Ha ha, good job you only fired one barrel there, Chuck - you can still hop your way to the ambulance! How serious is it? We can't gauge it! Ha ha! Get it? Do you?"
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| Celebrating his rights |
Then, later on, because you can never get too much of a good thing, nor a bad thing either it seems, it gets repeated again.
Bah!
| After and Before |
* Or both?
** Short for "An unfunny idiot deeply in love with the sound of his own drone."
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