Flog Golf

"Flog" In Both Senses
Conrad is unsure of where you hail from, gentle reader, so you may not be au fait with the English slang "Flog" - meaning "To Sell" or "To Promote" in terms of a product.  If you wish, you may regard your modest artisan's posting on Facebook and Twitter as a blog flog.  Then there is the rather more painful term - "Flog" as in "To Whip" or "To Chastise".
     "But Conrad," I hear you ask, "What has this to do with golf, apart from an admittedly rather clever inversion of the word?"
     If you are up to speed with BOOJUM! then you will be aware that Conrad is no sports fan, and until Street Football* becomes a real thing, that's not going to change.  You may, therefore, commence to flog golf in the sense of chastising it, severely.  Conrad has never played golf, does not wish to learn how, knows a smidgeon about it thanks to reading P G Wodehouse's collection of short stories on the subject, and that's it.
     Which makes it all the more peculiar that those idiots the Foobs keep on promoting the sport.  Art?  Outline the evidence.

 

    Whisky Oscar Echo**?  Call me cynical but I don't imagine the majority of golfers are top-heavy young ladies in not a lot of clothing.  In fact, aren't golf clubs famously stuffy about dress codes and suchlike?  What about lady golfers, they must be feeling a bit left out by now, although probably whilst wearing more clothes.

That Inexplicable Attraction
I refer to cats and paper.  Regardless of which position I choose at the breakfast table, nor of what time of day it may be, or if I am eating or not, Jenny chooses to come and lie on whatever book I have to hand.  Art?

"Yes!  Yes!  I am keen to know all about British radar developments in July 1940!"

     She's being quite reticent here, normally she'd be right under my nose, purring smugly.

Blog Traffic
I've gone on about this recently, and would merely like to add that we passed the 25,000 hits mark not so long ago.  When I started this unassuming word salad nearly 3 years ago (!) I never imagined it would get popular, or sustain that, if by some chance it did happen.  Let Art provide you with the evidence, as you skeptics need proof:

"Pageviews all time history" = 25,026

     I suppose the good news, if you enjoy BOOJUM! is that I still enjoy creating it, so it will continue.  First Bus and The Metro quiver in their shoes!

"Pointless"
Yes, the quiz show.  Conrad is not sure if you have ever seen it, so a precis is in order.  Teams of 2 players are given a topic, and then have to choose which answer they think will have been chosen least by a panel.  The aim is to get an answer nobody has chosen - Pointless.  Hosted by Alexander Armstrong, whom Conrad only knew as a comedian; he has a successful secondary career singing classical stuff, of all things.  Oh, and the rather clever Richard Osman.

Look at them, brewing up mischief

     Since it's been going for 7 years now I suspect some of you are watching it on the sly.  Anyway, Conrad sat through a round earlier today without intending to - damn you Osman and Armstrong, damn you! - on three subjects:  Celebrities with double-barrelled surnames (score nil); Madonna's hits identified only by first letter (score one); the Space Race (score five out of five) and I knew the one that would have gotten only 2 points - the year the last Moon landing took place***.
     
As Seen On Television
Though Conrad does not often watch television, usually whilst acting as a cushion for Edna the Wunderhund, he takes a keen interest in what is on screen, as it can often be mocked, abused, traduced or ridiculed as grist for BOOJUM! and this afternoon was no exception.
     There is an advert for Activia, which is a variety of sweetened gloppy fruit-flavoured stuff in a pot, loudly proclaiming "Feed your inner smile!" implying that this will bring peace to the world, end global warming and ensure your pipes never burst.

Smile, people.  Or else.

     Conrad, liverish and ill-tempered as ever, sat and frowned at this advert.  It's all very well going on about smile smile smiling; what if your default state is Surly Scowl?

The poster child for Surly and Scowly.
(also Jowly)

Also -
Conrad does not need the presence of glop-in-a-pot to help his digestion.  Here's proof:

"BBE December 2013"

  A bit over two years out of date?  Pshaw!  Nothing!  The jam is fine, as am I after eating it on crumpets this morning.




* From early 2000 AD.  I may elaborate.
**  Nato Phonetic Code for "WOE", the acronym for "What On Earth" as we are SFW here.
*** 1972.  "Twelve oh one alarm!"