I don't normally bother if a breach of the laws of causality happens when I'm reading Thomas Pynchon, as this has been going on for at least a year, ever since picking up "The Crying Of Lot 49"*. I do, however, jib when the universe decides to involve my inherently factual, down-to-earth and utterly prosaic "Jane's Guns: A Recognition Guide".
I was having a bit of a nosey at the guide, as I'd just been watching Alex The Gun Tech from Forgotten Weapons demonstrating a "Streetsweeper" shotgun on Youtube, and his opinion was that a real streetsweeper, i.e. a broom, would be more effective. He may look like a hippy, that Alex, but he knows his Bren from his Vickers-Berthier**. I then happened to look up this spectacularly ugly weapon:
Now, reading "Bleeding Edge" this morning, and what weapon were two wanna-be Russian gangsters waving around? That's right. Bisons.
Vorga, I Kill You Deadly
A line from Alfred Bester's classic sci-fi novel "Tiger! Tiger!", and I would like to adopt and modify it, with "Twitter I Kill You Deadly". No comma, I want it to be more immediate.
I know, I know, you're wondering what your elderly scribe is babbling on about today.
This:
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| "How does he e-mail so fast"? Read on, gentle reader, read on |
Sounds Like Enid Blyton, Right? WRONG!
Those of a nervous disposition will very probably have left eighteen months ago, so let us carry on.
If your eyesight is good, you will see mention made of "Reggie", "Jennie" and "Harriet". Wah-hey, sounds like the characters are going to camp out on Kirrin Island with lashings of ginger beer!
Er, no, sorry, this little article refers to the ET317 thermonuclear warhead of 225 kilotonne yield.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ET.317
Sorry, Enid.
Superheroes With Their Pants Down
Aha, continuing with the theme of "X-Men As Victims", today we cast our cynical, jaundiced and bloodshot*** eye over Hank McCoy, known as "Beast".
I need to point out that this mockery is directed at Old School Beast, who looks thus:
| There has to be an innocent explanation for this picture. Has to be. |
You can imagine the interview, Hank on the other side of Professor X's mahogany desk, trying to impress -
Prof X: Well, Mister McCoy, this is - are you smoking?
Hank (holding a cigar with his left foot): Sure am, Prof.
Prof X (coldly): There is no smoking allowed here.
Hank: Oh, really? Gee, sorry Prof. This being the Sixties, I thought I could get away -
Prof X: No. Smoking.
Hank (Stubs out cigar and eats it): There ya go!
Prof X: Well, we've established you have both iron lungs and a copper stomach. What else do you have in mutant abilities?
Hank: I'm pretty nimble.
Prof X (looks hard)
Hank: And, er, I'm quite strong.
Prof X: Look, Mister McCoy, this isn't really the kind of skill set we're looking -
Hank (desperately): - and I can fart the tune to "Yankee Doodle Dandy"
Prof X (Extends hand smiling warmly): Hank, you're in!
| "My superpower is PREHENSILE TOES!" |
1) Lego. Since he walks around barefoot, Lego. Any parent will tell you that the most painful part of childhood is standing on a Lego brick, as the little swine are nothing but sharp edges and points.
2) Furniture. Stubbing his toes is an occupational hazard.
3) Stilettoes. No! not the knife, the heel. Imagine one of those descending on your little toe, with ten stone of womanly weight behind it.
4) Hunters. Or just people with guns. "Hey! It looks weird! SHOOT IT!" Or, in Texas^, abbreviated to "Hey! SHOOT IT!"
Now, do you see why Hank got a design makeover?
Almost A Full Moon
Last night the cast of characters at the Mansion sat out in our back yard, an activity that has not been possible until right now, given the slackness of our traditionally cr - Dog Buns - English weather. Conrad got in this shot of the Moon:
Bear in mind that this object is a quarter of a million miles away, with no atmosphere^^, and yet - and yet twelve of you Hom. Sap. have been up there to boogie on the regolith. Well, two of them drove around. But still .....
And there we hit the 60 minute mark. How many words? 896. Not bad, considering the PC froze 5 minutes into my original post and I had to start again. And there's a load of stuff I simply don't have time to post. I'll get back to you on that.
Chin chin!
* Because it mentions, in some detail, the Gallipoli campaign of the First Unpleasantness, at the same time I was reading about the 29th Division, being present at - Gallipoli.
** Obscure and not really very funny in-joke for gun enthusiasts.
*** Don't worry, off to the optometrists tomorrow.
^ I apologise to all Texans possibly reading this. Please don't shoot me.
^^ You can make a joke here. Conrad is above that sort of thing.
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