Attack Of The Multi-Headed Coincidence Monster

I Don't Want To Alarm Anyone
 - well, perhaps not beyond an enjoyable frisson, just enough to remind you that yes, the robot/zombie/accountant uprising is a real possibility.
     Conrad usually only encounters one coincidence per day, as this is apparently what the Fates deem sufficient to perplex or punish a single person with.  Today - and the day is long from over - he's had three.
     Now, perhaps that intellectual desert Art Dept. can come up with an appropriate illustration?  Art?  ART!

Blimey!  One of these in your home and you need fear no burglar

Coincidence #1
You will recall, faithful audience, about Conrad banging on about the credited role of "Data Wrangler" in a list of television production staff, and mocking the idea of wrangling anything like data.  Wrangler - not a subject previously taken up by the blog.
     "I'll just have a quick flick at the start of "Bleeding Edge" (by Thomas Pynchon), just to see how it starts - DOG BUNS!" went my inner dialogue, for there on page 3 we get that word "wrangler" again.
     Well, that must be it for today, I pondered.
     Wrong!

Coincidence #2
There I was, working on my index of "The History of the 51st Highland Division" - I didn't realise how long I'd been working on this, but apparently I was still working on it last time I dogsat.  Anyway, the insignia for the division is that of - hang on, Art?  Earn your pay!

A.K.A. "Harper's Duds"

     Since their commanding general for most of 1914 - 1918, they were nicknamed "Harper's Duds", as people believed they weren't very good*.
     So I am sat there, with the television muted, the adverts playing as I enunciate "Harper's Duds" and what comes up on the screen at exactly that moment?
     "Harper's Island", viz:

There.

     This frightened me so much I went and hid in the bathroom.

Coincidence #3
Okay, I am now up to the recording of "Wish You Were Here" in Nick Mason's very funny and self-deprecatory account of his experiences in Pink Floyd.  At one point Nick describes a "glass harmonica", which is used to replicate the sounds of rubbing the rim of a glass.  Conrad makes a note of this, as he is (you should know by now) a fearful pedant.  
     So here it is in all it's silicon glory:

Glass, yes.  Harmonica?  Much less so

     What's this?  An illustration of it's inventor, Ben Franklin, at his own version:

Ben, bustin' out some radical moves.

     What's the coincidence here?  Thomas Pynchon again - he describes a musical performance of this instrument that Nick Mason also mentions.
     It's all connected, you know.

Coincidence #4
I had to tempt whichever one of the Fates deals with serendipity, causality and the law of large numbers.
     As you hopefully remember from my gloating posts earlier this week, I have the 17th Edition of Brewers Dictionary of Phrase and Fable.  Before starting today's blog I thought I'd utilise it, open it at a random page and perhaps use that as a - DOG BUNS!

The Royal Navy, back when that meant "Yes we DO own the seas, actually!"

     I'd opened it at random and it describes "The Fleet's lit up", where a Lieutenant Commander Tommy Woodroofe has apparently lost a battle with a bottle of rum.  In itself this wouldn't be too bad a thing, I suppose you have to prove you've got what it takes in the Royal Navy and he'd taken in rather a lot.
     What makes this state a very bad thing is that Lt. Co. Woodroofe was doing a live radio broadcast about the Fleet Review of the Royal Navy.  And his frankly addled speech is one of the tracks on Public Service Broadcasting's "Educate Entertain Inform".

The rather seedy Wrigglesworth and the ever-dapper J. Wilgoose, Esq.

The Iceman Not Only Cometh, He Was Here Ages Ago
I recreate here for your sheer entertainment a post I did a couple of years ago:

You Know You're Middle-Aged When:

1)  You get childishly excited about your new Kenwood Ice Cream Maker
2)  Your mobile died a week ago and you never noticed
3)  You write your clocking-in times in a diary instead of Outlook
4)  You associate the word "Kindle" with something to be thrown on a fire
5)  You don't recognise any single-name "Celebrities" on the BBC's "Entertainment" page
6)  You do simple arithmetic faster than the youths around you (they don't have the app!)
7)  Your pile of Books To Be Read, stacked one atop the other, is higher than your house
8)  You realise that, sadly, you are never going to make it as an astronaut - ever
9)  Your savings account is actually a scruffy tin pot containing lots of cash
10)  Some kind soul gives up their seat on the tram for you  :(

On the plus side, I am now past my half-century, mostly corpus intact, so yah booh sucks to those who said I'd never reach 30!

RIght, I am off, trembling with glee, to put an ice cream mix into <cont. Page 96>

     The excitement over 1) has worn off, but as I have documented, I have recently started using it again, viz:

Peach ice cream.

     Actually this one is a bit hard to scoop - too much vodka in the Conrad, not enough in the mix.
     All the other items are correct, except 10) as I never travel on the tram.

Over 900 words and up to the 60 minute operational deadline.  More posts about rain, cats, dogs, raining cats and dogs, snails and flies to come later today, if you're good.  Maybe even if you're bad.  In fact, especially if you're bad!



* The Germans had a different and more appropriate belief