Vile Indexer Meets Undead Document Laminator

Yes, Another Entry In "The Most Boring Film Possible"
The last one seemed to work well.  And today - we have 45 hits before I've posted this, and the Canadians have arrived on the scene in a big way - 94 views!
     I did wonder if a lot of BOOJUM!'s audience were bored Russian squaddies looking to improve their English whilst sitting guard over the Strategic Rocket Force's larder, something like that, but no!  It's the British Americans who are responsible.
     Well now, let's get cracking.  I doubt we'll manage everything tonight, but Conrad will give it his best 7.62 x 51 NATO round*.

S.R.F. Mobile Bread-bin
Honest.

Quill And Winkle
Stop sniggering at the back there!  Jeffrey Quill and Eric "Winkle" Brown, thank you very much.  Both test pilots, Quill being employed by Supermarine and Eric flying pretty much every aircraft in the world.
     I had a quick dash through "Spitfire", Quill's detailed and evocative account of his time with Supermarine, testing the prototypes for different marks of Spitfire.
     Oh, he also flew with 65 Squadron in the Battle of Britain, so he took his job pretty seriously.

Hmmm.  Looking under the lady's skin.  A bit unseemly

     Now, Conrad is purely a land animal when it comes to military matters - I can tell you what a refused left flank is, or when to form square in the presence of cavalry, or the yield of an M56 175 mm nuclear artillery shell**, so all this analysis of "aileron control" and how to balance the plane when adding fuel tanks, not to mention contra-rotating propellors and the two-stage Griffon engine, is quite the revelation.
     We here in the UK do rather tend the eulogise*** the Spitfire, which is undeniably a beautiful-looking aircraft that looks fast even when standing still, rather forgetting that it was frequently the last thing you saw if you happened to be a Regia Aeronautica or Luftwaffe pilot.

Regia Aeronautica - WW2 Italian Air Force

M.A.C.H. 1
As we are all aware, there is often little to no reason for any subject to pop up in Conrad's fertile yet chaotic mind.  However, I think I can reason this one out.  I'd been reading about aircraft, and the Mach limit happens to concern aircraft designers and pilots very particularly.

M.A.C.H. 1 - doesn't do subtle

     However - forgive for using this word twice in a paragraph, however - sorry, three times - I didn't think any other word would do - "M.A.C.H. 1" is nothing to do with aircraft.  

     The acronym stands for "Man Activated by Compu-Puncture Hyperpower", and essentially made John Probe super-powered.  He started off as a conventional secret agent, bashing and trashing his way to victory - one notable episode had him helping a sacricifial SAS team preventing the Soviets from carting off a crashed top secret jet in the Himalayas - but as time went on the series got much, much darker.  Probe realises that he has absolutely no memory of his time pre-MACH implementation.  Not only that, he has to undergo regular MACH treatment - or he'll die.  His boss, Sharpe, is a corrupt conniving gabtish who exploits Probe for his own ends.
     In the end, Probe dies rescuing an alien that Sharpe had captured and been keeping under wraps, much to the outrage and horror of fans.  They howled, they threatened, they didn't swear as this was 1978 and you couldn't get away with that then but they probably thought sweary thoughts.

"Really, John, you could have just rung the doorbell ..."

     To no avail.  John Probe was dead, M.A.C.H. 1 ended and never came back.
     Now, contrast this approach with that of Marvel or DC.  There, you never stay dead.  I'm not implying that their comic characters come back as zombies^, just that market pressures creative processes mean "It was just a flesh wound" "It was my evil twin" "I'm from a parallel dimension" "Fooled you with my hologram" etcetera, etcetera.
     Death.  It's what makes British comics different.

All Out!
Good lord aloft, look at this picture and weep -

Fifteen dead bulbs

     You recall it took weeks if not months for a mere two bulbs to be replaced.
     How many universe lifetimes will roll by before the terrifying total of 15 gets seen to?

An, Coincidence - Put That Child Down
Well well well.  Many wells make a river, says the old Russian proverb, although they possibly weren't aware of our English idiom.
     Which superhero have I been banging on about lately?  
     Robin.  You know, the one who likes to get his legs out and who wears pixie boots.

Robin, looking very smug.

     Well, what did Julie Laird, wildlife photographer extraordinaire^^, capture on film - well it may not be film, cameras are not what they were when Conrad first had his Box Brownie - yesterday?

A crimefighter and a gigantic glass of wine.

     I'm not at all sure that Robin really counts as a superhero.  All he has - well, he's a passenger in the Batmobile, which isn't going to cut it at the Justice League HQ.  Yes, he's a supremely fit martial arts expert, but so was Bruce Lee.  Also, he doesn't have his own apartment and might find dating a little awkward when trying to smuggle girls past Bruce Wayne.

Hmmm.  Dilemma time.  I've got 10 minutes, enough for either Shakeshaft or a citric commentary on Marvel's Agents of SHIELD.

Lowbrow it is!

Marvel's Agents Of SHIELD
I do hope this isn't a Jump The Shark Moment.  In Episode 13 of Series Two we are introduced to Karla Faye Gideon, who is on the Index of Gifted People, which is probably subtitled Keep These Freaks Away From Humanity.
     Karla's gift, if you can call it that, was to surgically attach razor blades to the ends of her fingers and thumbs.  Permanently.  All ten of them.
     Let me direct you to that touchstone of sci-fi invention, Samuel R. "Chip" Delaney.  In "Dhalgren" he invents a bladed weapon dubbed an "Orchid". This is an array of sharp blades that attach to the back of the hand, pointing outwards.  They aren't easy to remove and a second's carelessness or forgetfulness can result in a lot of damage.
     Now, back to KRG.  A moment's reflection will allow you to realise how dangerous she is.  To herself.  An itch, tying shoelaces, having a shower, counting to ten - all liable to result in severe lacerations, or death.

Child-safe version of an Orchid

Ooops.  Been a bit verbose tonight, over the 1K mark.  Still those Russian squaddies need to learn -


* His best shot <pretentious-to-English translation courtesy Mister Hand>
** 1.5 kilotonnes, thanks for asking
*** Russian squaddies, you're getting your money's worth tonight!
^ Although there is a "Marvel Zombies" series
^^ No exaggeration, she's really good.