Cheating Our Way To Higher Traffic!

I Am, At Least, Being Honest
Cheating because I'm just going to upload a blog post from a year ago.  This is because I was out late last night, straight from work, so no Friday blog.  Well, that's not entirely true, either -  I cheated last thing in the office and posted a blog from one year ago yesterday.  Couldn't post that on Twitter as it is blocked by our nanny software, but it went up on Facebook and got decent hits.
     At some point later today I'll post a bit of bloggorhea, of Roxy and her farewell drinkies and From The Kites Of San Quention performing.
     Let the potley begin!

Once Again Conrad Sits In A Rapid Time-Stream
     Got home at half six, went and did the shopping, came home and put it away, and two hours have mysteriously whizzed past.  How did that happen?
     Whilst Conrad ponders this, that bird outside it giving it what for, with such spirit that you can hear him over the traffic.

"Dammit, Conrad, don't mock me!  I have a savage peck!"

This is still a real phenomenon, all the most so when creating the blog, which is why I now have the 60 minute rule - although this can be stretched a bit at weekends or when on leave.  Dunno why the picture won't appear, perhaps a now invalid web link.  Transient, you see, we're all transient.

Tantalus
     Again, one of those things that pop up in Conrad's mind, and this one had a sound basis in Greek mythology.
     Tantalus had a semi-divine origin, with a human for a mother, Olympian god for a father - it happened a lot in ancient Greece to attractive young ladies, the Gods not being known for their self-restraint at parties - and he managed to annoy the Olympians by slagging them off and giving away their secrets.  Today this would be a mis-timed rant on Facebook or Twitter, liable to get you a P45 by next day; in classical times they were a lot more badass and Tantalus was condemned to the very lowest circle of Hades, chained to a rock for eternity.  He stood in a pool of water that magically receded if he tried to drink from it, and below a fruit tree that magically whisked it's fruit out of reach if he tried to eat it.

The World Cup.
England, I tantalise thee!

     I think Zeus might have over-reacted a teensy bit here.  Still,this is the origin of the word "Tantalise".
     So now you know.

Ah yes, the World Cup.  As Conrad recollects, an utter non-event as the England side went out in the first round, beaten by Azerbaijan or perhaps the Grand Duchy of Fenwick?  Something like that.  Today, a year later, all sorts of exciting stuff about FIFA is emerging, none of it very praiseworthy.

A Little Tantalise Of My Own
     Rest your glazzies on these, droogs*:

     Exotic sweets brought in by the lovely Carol, which Conrad was able to sample, but which you can't.
     Now you know how Tantalus felt!

Ah yes, here I resort to my strong suit: mockery.  I hope, a year having passed, that you can forgive me.  If not - who cares!

Rosetta Stone
     More accurately, rather than "Stone", "Snowy dirtball", a fitting description that eclipses** the old one of a "Dirty Snowball".
     "What," I hear you ask, "Is Conrad banging on about now?  It's not long after payday, he can't have resorted to the cooking sherry already, can he?"
     I mean, gentle reader, the European Space Agency space-probe "Rosetta", which has been closing steadily on the comet 67P/Churyumov-Gerasimenko.  My last post had it about a million kilometres away.  The probe had only recently emerged from electronic hibernation and there were questions as to whether it would function at all, let alone efficiently.

Stoned

     Well, the distance between comet and probe has diminished to 165,000 kilometres, which is about half the distance between your Earth and the Moon.  Rosetta will be scoping out the comet to find a likely landing place for the Philae landing unit, which will also involve lots of camera work.  And being in close proximity to a comet means having to take precautions against the dust and gasses emitted from the comet - you can't replace cameras damaged by impacts in a mission like this.  To complicate matters further, the comet has become inert again after a period of activity, with no definite explanation why, or when it will become a hurtling geyser in outer space.
     Now this, Hom. Sap., is interesting stuff!  Far more interesting than that there fussball game ...

Rosetta and Philae and 67P are back in the news, Philae having "woken up" after being frozen in the dark at wicked low temperatures for months.  Conrad's strident warning to be aware of robot zombies has, so far, fallen on deaf ears.  Keep watching the skies!  KEEP WATCHING THE SKIES!

Heath Robinson
     If you do not know who Heath Robinson was THE EXIT DOOR IS - actually no, that's not entirely fair.  Old Heath's heyday was a century ago, so Conrad will be merciful.
     Heath was best known for illustrating incredibly elaborate constructions that performed extremely abstruse tasks in an un-necessarily complicated manner, usually involving lots of levers and pulleys and belts and lazy-tong apparati***.

How to make pancakes the Heath Robinson way!

     Conrad explained this to the lovely Lisa at work today (Anna is off so I have to find other ladies to libidinise^), as she had never heard of Heath.  Well, she has now:  BOOJUM! - educating the world one person at a time.

As for the picture, use your imagination and stop being so idle.

That's Quite Enough Of That!
     The "that" in question being a bus poster for a film entitled "Walking On Sunshine"
     NO NO NO!

Walking on the Moon.  Eminently practical and possible.

     Sorry to be a pedantic astronomical bore^^ but you simply cannot walk on sunshine as it is composed of photons and cannot sustain any physical loading whatsoever.  You can walk in the sunshine - if it ever arrives here in this soggy boggy foggy island - and you can walk outdoors into the sunshine but you can NEVER WALK ON SUNSHINE.
     There.  Conrad has spoken.

Nice to see the consistency with which I jump into film reviews, BOOJUM! style - no research, taken at face value and dangerously literal.  Three qualities you won't find exhibited by Mark Kermode, although since he is a big Comsat Angels fan, he gets let off.

Finally
     No proper BOOJUM! blog would be complete without small cute animals ensnaring the unwary, and today is no exception.  

"Edna!  Roll over!  Lie down!  Do The Sphinx!"

This time last year Edna Wunderhund was only 6 months old, so she had a residual cuteness to underline her frightening intellect with.


*  Yes, that's "Nadsat" from "A Clockwork Orange" because Conrad is so effing refined
** See, see how clever I am?  "Eclipse", as in astr - Oh you do see.
*** Yes it is a real word.  Plural of "apparatus"
^  If this wasn't a real word before, it is now.
^^  Actually not sorry.  NOT SORRY AT ALL!  Heh.

Looking back, it is strange how some things come back around, eh?  Which is as deep as I feel this Saturday morning, as the longer I type here, the later I get to my pot of tea.

Toodle pip!