The Wanton Wind-Up War Weevils Of Wolverhampton

Yes, Yes, I Know There's No Such Things
And if they did exist, as a weevil is a very small beetle they would be singularly useless in waging warfare, whether wind-up or not.
     I only threw the "Wanton" in there to add to the number of "W"'s - so that's 5.  What's that other phrase - oh yes - Wally the Wide-Eyed Wonder Weasel Walking in a Winter Wonderland - so that's 7 and I could extend it further - Wally the Wide-Eyed Wonder Weasel Walking Warily Westwards in a Winter Wonderland 
     Anyway, enough of the silly.  On with the stupid!

A Monster Beetle.  Close enough

I Would Like To Apologise
 - for my hasty and wit-free posting this morning*.  The thing is, I was late, and late because of these offending articles -

 

Yes, hang your head in shame.

     The battery-powered item on the right mysteriously began to lose 20 minutes at a time, so I bought a replacement, since when the mystery absences have ceased.  I set the clock on the left about 10 minutes ahead, so I wasn't running around like a headless chicken.  Except that this morning those 10 minutes had vanished, and I realised only too late that I had to postanddashormissthebus.
     So.  What I would have posted was "Team!  Today's June Nine and we all feel fine <blog link posted here> We say to the challenges GET IN A LINE!"

"Chink" By Lavinia Greacen
Only one literary encounter today, when Chink meets his friend Boy Browning's wife, the author Daphne Du Maurier.  Other people could dine out on that; not Chink.
     Anyway, he makes a reference to "pelions upon ossas", a phrase I have never heard before, though it had a faint cast of Hellenic allusion about it.  A quick Google later and it transpires that those rascals the giants tried to storm Mount Olympus by topping Mount Ossa with Mount Pelion.  Vandals!
     So the phrase means to heap difficulty upon more difficulty, or, if you prefer a more edible analogy, having a layer of difficult between two slices of difficult to make a sandwich of difficult.

Egad, Carruthers, The Heat!
By now, gentle reader, you should be accustomed to Conrad's claims to be an alien spy in camouflage, hailing from the distant and icy homeworld of <cough cough**> in the Theta Reticuli constellation.  This means he suffers utter torment in the office thanks to the tropical heat of as many as 12 or even 13 degrees.
     So!

     Armed with a bottle of ice and a tub of ice-cream, he bravely put up with what had to be at least 15 degrees.

Blog Rules
Since there seem to be more people than normal reading BOOJUM!, I would just like to re-iterate a few of the rules in force here.  These are not up for negotiation.

1. The films of John Carpenter are documentaries, apart from "Dark Star"
2. Doctor Who is a re-enactment of things that have really happened.
3. America does not exist.  Instead there is only South Canada
4. Vulnavia is occasionally mentioned
5. Film reviews are plunged into with reckless ignorance
6. No swearing; "Dog Buns" is the official BOOJUM! swear
7. No politics, religion and most especially no sport.
8. The Metro is a lying chip shop wrapper
9. First Bus are easily the most evil entity on the planet in the galaxy

That'll do for starters.

Silly Beards
There does seem to be a small epidemic of men wearing silly beards of late.   Yesterday Conrad had to bit his inner cheek to avoid laughing at one chap who appeared to have a doormat stapled to his face, and there have been others who apparently want their chin hairs to get knitted into those on their chest.

Only these guys rock the look.

     Bizarre.  It's also summertime - or as close as it gets in the UK - so the winter warming factor is out of the window.  Why? puzzles Conrad, why?

Moustaches are still awesome, though.

"The Love Punch"
Conrad enjoyed this film because it was about old people, and he's quite old himself***.
     Plot point: the central conceit of the film is people being cheated out of pension and income, rendering them near penniless - so how do they fund their excursion to the south of France?

The beautiful people.  And Tim.

     I should point out that the old people involved are Celia Imrie and Emma Thompson, who are still good-looking, as is Pierce Brosnan.  Timothy Spall - er - is an excellent British character actor.

Superheroes With Their Pants Down
No, Stan, I explained this to the police already - it's purely metaphorical, everybody keeps their pants on - this is BOOJUM! after all, always SFW^.
     Anyway, I saw that PXS22 advert for "Be The Batman" again today, and it got me to thinking - always a dangerous thing.
     Let the motley begin!

(Scene: The Batcave.  Batman is poring over charts and screens, brooding, cradling his chin with one hand)
BATMAN:  This rash of whimsical yet brutal crimes suggests only one thing - The Joker has once again teamed up with Madam Mange.
VOICE OFFSTAGE:  Yoo-hoo!  Here I am -
(Robin bounces into the Batcave)
BATMAN: Can't you be a bit quieter?I'm trying to interpret and analyse this computer data -
ROBIN: Oh, foo! (snaps fingers)  Hey, notice anything different? (he twirls)
BATMAN: No.
ROBIN: Come on, don't be such a grumpy old fuddy-duddy.
BATMAN:  Your costume and cape remain migraine-inducingly bright.
ROBIN: My legs!  I had them waxed.
BATMAN: Okay.  Let me get back to parsing this - what?  What now?
ROBIN: (points downwards)
BATMAN:  What - what on earth are those?
ROBIN: Pixie boots.  The girls love them.  On a guy, I mean.
BATMAN: Our crimefighting is merely a ploy to snare women's attention?
ROBIN: Pretty much.  Oh - can't help you battle crime tonight, got a hot date.
BATMAN: (to camera) This is why Superman works alone.

A couple of swingers.  Well, Robin, anyway.

* Jeers of "How can we tell the difference!" will be stonily ignored.
** I'm not giving this away, given how dangerous Hom. Sap. is when confined to merely one planet
*** 237 at last count.
^ We did have a female bottom once, but that was on a statue