It's Outrageous!

Not Referring To Anything In Particular
 - although the 24 bus not turning up, and the 181 being a single-decker mobile sauna does come pretty close.  What are First Bus's qualifications for running a service again? because Conrad considers them to be as evil as they are incompetent.

First Bus's transport fleet was in need of refurbishment

     Anyway, that's rather tangential to the title of tonight's blog.  If we are most horrified and offended by someone or some event or the single-word "celebrities" that the Fish & Chip Wrapper blatantly takes bribes for, we dub them "outrageous".
     Why, then, do we fail to bestow faint praise upon an item or person who is merely a little bit evil, or a tiny bit bad, with the word "inrageous"?
     I'll get back to you on that.


"Bleeding Edge" By Thomas Pynchon
Finally finished it on the bus this morning, although I shouldn't boast, it's less than 500 pages long and mercifully short compared to that brick of a book "Against the Day".  Thus, no spooky coincidences generated today!

The Mansion.
Nothing spooky here, oh no!

     It did throw up a phrase that needed explaining - "a Roth IRA".  By context it sounded financial rather than a hooded (Jewish?) Fenian carrying a gun, and so it proved.  It's an "Individual Retirement Arrangement" where you don't pay taxes - zzzzzzzzzz.  Yeah.  As exciting as that.

Cherry Ghost
I was standing in line at the off-licence clutching my bottle of Old Golden Hen when a song by the above band came over the PA.
     "It's Cherry Ghost!" I explained to the two male shop staff, both young enough to be my sons.  "But I don't recognise the song."
     Two looks of utter incomprehension were returned.
     Gah!  The youth of today!
     It turns out the album came out last year - how did I miss that?

Cherries most.  Close enough

Dear Metro
You are going to get into big trouble.  See this?

Think of the children!

     If Anna sees this, you will go down on her list of People To Get Back At.

Superheroes With Their Pants Down
I recall that Cyclops got his dressing-down without a preliminary interview, so let us redress that omission:

Prof X: So, Mister Somers, what can you bring to the table?
Scott:  I can blow things up with my eyes!
Prof X: What!  You pop them out like ping-pong balls?
Scott:  No, no, I've got this totally awesome Blammo-vision thing going on.
Prof X: "Blammo-vision".
Scott (excitedly):  Yeah, yeah - planes, tanks, buildings, I can blow them all up!  Totally!
Prof X (coldly): This, Mister Somers, is an educational establishment.  Not a demolitions firm.
Scott:  Oh.
Prof X: We seek to resolve matters without causing mayhem and destruction.
Scott: Oh.  I see.  Well, let me give you my card.  That way, if something does need blamming to bits -
Prof X:  Do you have any other useful skill sets?
Scott (thinks hard): I can do a killer barbecue in one second flat.
Prof X (warmly): Scott, you're in!

The Scott Somers Appreciation Society

Ranting And Tanting
Once again I have to castigate the Twits and their especially witless suggestions about what your aged scribe might be interested in.

"Transform my poker"?

     I would add the phrase "Are you ******* kidding?
     "Are you sick of going card dead at the vital stage in tournaments?
     NO I AM NOT!  BECAUSE I DO NOT ATTEND TOURNAMENTS!
     "Discover the weird science to building big stacks"
     I thought they were banging on about gambling, not construction?  
     Anyway, there is a major flaw in this suggested Tweet.
     I DO NOT PLAY POKER.
     Let me elaborate.

     I NOT ONLY DO NOT PLAY POKER I AM NOT INTERESTED IN IT AT ALL.

     Trying not to understate it there.  D'you think I got my point across?

Retrospective
In a cheap and nasty way of boosting the word count, I am going to post my blog of two years ago this very day, although it does seem rather longer than the earlier ones from June, so I may have to curtail this activity.  Anyway, here goes:

Filthy Lucre

Literally.  I found 50 pence in change in my dirty coffee cup at work.  Why did I put it there?  Early onset Stupidity. 

More Filthy Lucre

I'm not sure if this is an exclusively British term.  "Dirty Money" is your translation, dear reader in Novi Pazar*.  Looking at the BBC website with sidebars and comments from the public, what statistics do we see?

Egyptian Protests = 115 comments

BBC's £25 million severance payments = 741 comments

MP's Pay Rise = 1166 1200 comments.  The winner!

Not only that, in a snapshot of comments, two people who put across a rational argument supporting an increase in MP's pay were massively negged** by other commenters!  It seems we the - excuse me - We The People jib a bit at having to make sacrifices at the behest of our chosen representatives who then get a 16% pay rise.

Continuing with the edgy, gritty, satirical tone - yes it is so, edgy and gritty! <stamps foot> we have -

Now Then Snowden!

That young scamp Eddy Snowden is apparently applying for political asylum in Russia.  I'm sure this is a headache that Mr Putin could well have done without, and he gently suggested to Eddy that he should "cease his work aimed at damaging our American partners."  Eddy, Eddy, Eddy.  Mr Putin also said Russia "never hands over anybody anywhere and has no intention of doing so," which would sound more convincing if that song "Step Into My Parlour Said The Spider To The Fly" wasn't echoing around my mind.  This time next year the folio-sized "Where's Eddy?" picture-puzzle book will be the only visible sign that Eddy ever existed ...

Human Rights Crisis in Turkmenistan!

Actually I've nothing very deep to say on the very real problems in what seems to be a pocket Soviet Union post-1991 (not informed enough to judge yet).  It just amused me that one of the shortest names possible, J-Lo, performed for one of the longer - Gurbanguly Berdimuhamedov.

* Originally The Sanjak Of Novi Pazar, one of Europe's smallest 19th century nations.

** "Negged" is short for "Was voted down in a negative manner" and I apologise for using a word suspiciously close to <shudders in horror> texttalk.

Right.  That Passchendaele wargame won't design itself.  Toodle-ooh!

Well well well.  See what we have here?  Current affairs and politics, which is a measure of how far BOOJUM! has moved on - no need for me to rely on the BBC website to generate articles.  Notice also that I was working on those wargame rules even then, and had been for years.  Slow worker, me.