"Combat Accountant Meets The Vampire Pointillist"

Would That Work As A Film Title?
It's a silly title I dreamed up a few years ago as an imaginary entry for World's Dullest Film, alongside "Chicken-Sexing in the Kalahari" and "The Violent Venality of Verdegris".
     Obviously - obviously! - you have to have the Pointillist be the vampire, as the Accountant is already a species of blood-sucking parasite*.
     There was also "Tardigrade Warrior" but that needs explanation, unless you're a biologist.

The little chap for size comparison

      -and a face-to-face:

"Yes, Puny human?"

    Enough Intro!  Let the notley begin**.

More Of Adverts
Whilst watching the adverts yesterday and doing my indexing - more of that anon - I caught a bizarre product calling itself "Purrfect Porch", except that the design people had made a large boo-boo, since that's what it looks like when it should read as "Purrfect Arch".
     Behold!

The base is infused with catnip

     The idea is that your cat, all of whom are junkies for catnip, will groom itself by rubbing against the bristles, thus allowing you to duck out of brushing your pet.
     Opinions are mixed but not, on the whole, favourable, because the person who really counts is your cat.  And they can be finicky.

Go To Bed
NO!  Not Robert Gotobed, the drummer with seminal punk-ish-y band Wire. The act - O let me show you a picture.

  

Edna dozing, after fighting with her bed

      Whilst who ends up darting into the bed as if it was made for her?

Jenny, ignoring puny human photographer

     Cats.  Like I said, perverse and unpredictable.

What's Going On Here?
I think this is the start of the long-threatened transformation of Miller Street Car Park next to the Co-Op Tower:

     You can't tell from the photo but the upper section has been fenced-off and emptied of cars.  The trouble is, it was so long ago that notification of this event occurred that Conrad - aged and poor of memory - cannot remember what it's going to be transformed into.


The Index
I did warn you I was going to wheel this onto the printed page, so SIT BACK DOWN!  You're not getting away that easily.
     When I say "the Index" I refer to an index I am compiling for the "History of the 51st Highland Division".  I've done the units, the officers and have just completed the place names, and I can understand why some authors pay people to compile indexes for them, as it is fearfully slow work.
     Behold Page 1 of the Place Names:

"18pp total?"

     I guessed correctly:

"18"

     Slow work indeed, having to think "Have we already had Thilloy? No, that was "Tilloy".  I'm sure we've had "Roclincourt", where is it, where is it <five minutes later> ah - found it on Page 3!"
     I've got another list to compile now - the weapons.  Not sure how long that will take.
     But rest assured you WILL be informed about it!

Dangerous Dining: Suicide Sausage Rolls
Okay, I dramatise a bit.  Anna pleaded with me not to eat them, though ...
     Anyone who reads the blog on a regular basis will note that Conrad treats "Sell By Date" or "Best Before" as more in the spirit of advising than warning, and indeed he sees food safety as more in the spirit of a challenge than a precaution.
     So.  The rolls -

Rolls-with-sausage

     Now, these particular sausages had been date-expired when I bought them, after which someone put them in the freezer, so I thawed them earlier this week and then grilled 'em and ate 'em in a bun.
     Now, since I am writing these lines, I survived these sizzled slices of solid salmonella, obviously.  Obviously!

Mew
No, we are not back to cats again!  I mean the Danish indie band who played here recently.  Their latest album is "+-", however you pronounce that "Plus Minus" I suppose, which is the same in Danish as English.
     Anyway, here's a link to a live version of "Cross the River on Your Own", best track on the album:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oBxP1kr5AG0

     Being played live in Finland.

Mew.  Probably in Manchester, given the waterproofs.

Those Twerps At Twitter
What nonsensical, bizarre and outlandish artefacts, entities or outgoings can Twitter provide me with today?

What?

     "Huge Acca Boost on the International Friendly! Take advantage now!"

     BettingTips4you.com.

     What!?
     Twitter, when have I EVER exhibited an interest in sport, let alone BETTING about it?

NEVER! NOT ONCE! 

     But thank you for proving me right.


* I may be confusing them with lawyers.  Anyway, the point remains.
** Yes I spelt it incorrectly.  Just to see if you're awake.