Metaphorically. If you wish to clap politely, please do so now.
Any critical brickbats will be ignored, although you can bet I'll track down your ISP.
Blame, if any is to be accounted, can be placed against the fair person of Rebecca Stocker, who blithely informed your humble scribe in his pre-scribe days that she had not one but four blogs on the go. Hey, I thought. Perhaps I could give it a go ...
At first BOOJUM! amounted to no more than a couple of paragraphs of text. In fact here is the entire first blog entry:
First post on this newly-created Blog.
I feel like a four-year old riding their new bicycle without stabilisers. I am, after all, 51 years old and much more familiar with pen and paper - make that fountain-pen and paper - than all this new-fangled digital mummery.
Where were we? Oh yes, Father's Day.
Drove over to Richard's* to play a pseudo-Franco-Prussian War wargame. Over the span of 6 hours I got beaten by Andy, playing the French. Not that he got by cheaply or easily, oh no. Casualties were high. And the game turned out to be more balanced than I had first feared; sitting back and crushing the French with awesome Prussian artillery might be historically accurate but my! it would make for a boring game.
*Richard's charming ex-chapel is located in a location so remote it makes The Middle Of Nowhere look like Times Square at rush-hour.
Note that this isn't in the Trebuchet font.
The blog has now graduated to text, imported pictures, imported photographs, screenshots, web links and a month ago I was also loading up Google Analytics.
Readership has gone from 3 per day at first to the highest ever last week, 93 hits in one day. We average a thousand hits per month, which is not bad for a load of whimsical drivel wrapped up in a fake persona.
From 2013 To Today
As Wonder Wifey is off with Degsy to visit Jane in Milton Keynes, yours truly is now the appointed Dog Sitter De Jour. Hence this shot of Forward Operating Base Kitchen:
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| The lean, stripped-down look. |
Doubtless more clutter will arrive over the next two days. I'll try to get a shot of Camp Lounge and Scouting Location Garden for your delectation*.
Sprong! A.K.A. - You Again, Coincidence?
As you no doubt recall, Conrad invented the wonder material Sprong as a witty** retaliation for Twitter and Facebook's silly Suggested posts. Quite what Sprong is, and what it does, is rather open to question. In one form, apparently -
- it's dressmaking material. Another suggestion from the Twits at Twitter.Let me get back to you later on what it does and what it is.
Peanut Butter Cornetto
NO! This is just wrong! WRONG WRONG WRONG!
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| What a coincidence. A Cornetto Conrad can HATE |
Get out of here with your goober-infested confectionery, you baffoons at Walls!
You'll Never Guess What I've Been Doing ...
Actually you probably would, as my activities normally consist of either: drinking tea; reading; writing; blogging; plotting world domination***; watching television.
I've been doing the latter, watching television, in this case Star Trek, The Original Series, with none of the PC blather of it's later iterations. With James T. Kirk it's "Wham" as he punches someone, "Blam" as he phasers someone else, and "Why Helllllllo My Green-skinned Alien Lovely!" as he indulges in a little lip-lockery for the sake of interstellar diplomacy. Today it was "The City on the Edge of Forever", written by Harlan Ellison, whom some of you may know as a sci-fi writer with impressive credentials. In fact the episode won the Hugo Award, which was utterly unheard of back in the day, and quite an accompaniment overall.
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| The frankly bombastic Guardian. |
I've seen it before, and noticed that when the Enterprise party beam down to inspect the titular city, Mister Spock divines the ruined city to be "ten thousand centuries old", which is a rather better delivery than saying the lines "a million years old", as that would be a cliche, wouldn't it?
There is also a scene featuring a milk-cart named after "Widin Dairy Farm":
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| Say what? |
This stuck in my mind for some reason, and yep, when the credits come up, under "Production Management" we see "Bernard Widin".
Conrad - critically competent and sharp-eyed with it.
Super Heroes With Their Pants Down
Excuse me for slipping away here but Edna's nowhere in sight and it's gone awfully quiet ...
... she's just being sulky on the kitchen table.
Back to - Doctor Strange.
I say, how very convenient that his surname is "Strange", considering that he deals with the mysterious and magical! What an extraordinary coincidence! How peculiar that <Mister Hand intervenes for the sake of both sanity and brevity>
I have cautioned readers before about how superheroes like Bats^ and Supes^ cannot, thanks to their powers or chosen lifestyle, indulge in drugs legal or illegal, except perhaps caffeine, although they'd better not go drinking it late at night as it might disturb their sleep patterns and a grumpy Batman is -
| I think that's a heavy metal gesture. I could be wrong |
- where was I? Doctor Strange, however, has a gift and lifestyle that positively demands that he abuse chemicals, especially those that create visions of pink elephants (he and Dumbo would get on tremendously well), and he could wave off any curiosity from the police by loudly declaring that these "exotic incenses and magical unguents" are actually essential in <thinks> achieving the necessary state of mind to understand and analyse the religions of pre-Atlantine civilisations^^.
He would, however, have to be careful about exclamations, as who knows what would happen if he invoked the spirit world by accidentally barking "By Jove!" or "By Gum!^^^" or even (lord help us!) "By Grabthar's Hammer!".
He also needs to be careful waving around anything that resembles a wand - a bamboo skewer, a cocktail stick, kitchen spoon, walking stick, those kind of things.
| There's a film, apparently. |
Good Lord! Over a thousand words and the 60 minute limit approaches. Better post.
More of cat and dog later on.
Tally ho!
* You Russian squaddies better appreciate this enrichment of your vocab, druki.
** Work with me on this one.
*** I do apologise about the delay in this, it's just I've got a tremendous amount of books to read, programmes to watch and stories to write.
^ We're that close
^^ It may be "Atlantean" but, as they're all long, long dead, nobody's going to argue the point.
^^^ Possibly with an "Eee"
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