Danger! Will Robinson -

Also Anyone Using "Brewer' Dictionary - 
Of Phrase and Fable".
     I did think "What Ho!" when I bought this volume, as it might very well serve as an inspiration for blog titles, taking a little of the intellectual slog out of coming up with an idea - easily the hardest part of the whole creative process.  In times past I've sat desperately trying to think of a pithy, witty, humourous or curious quotation or phrase.
     Well that might be harder but it's certainly less prone to the worrying coincidences the Dog Buns! book has generated.
     What foreign word was I banging on about last night?  "Freebooter".

Threebooter.  Close enough

     Today I open Brewer's at page 543 - I put these page numbers in so you can check your own Seventeenth Edition - and what is halfway down the right-hand column?
     Dead right!  "Freebooter".
     Now, I only like to WHAT'S THAT NOISE COMING FROM THE CUPBOARD!

"Bleeding Edge" By Thomas Pynchon
I have poked around a few of the names that Tom mentions, including "Razorfish", which seems to have been another victim of the Dotcom crash, having it's shares plummet in value from $50 each to $1, which is quite a precipitate fall.  They ended up being acquired by other companies, who were then acquired by other companies, etc. etc. but at least Razorfish were generating big bucks before they tanked.

     "Pets.com", however, were far less successful.  Generating a profit of only $600K, they splurged on advertising of $11 million - that's just advertising, not including wages, rents, leases or investments - with is a ratio of 1:18.  Unsurprisingly, Pets.com were annihilated and vanished from the scene in the aftermath of the crash.  There is a word for this.  STUPIDITY!

     
WWE Studios
If you're thinking "Surely Conrad cannot be referring to that scripted choreographed pantomime called World Wrestling <something beginning with "E">?" then you'd be wrong.  Yes, I am referring to World Wrestling <something beginning with "E">.  They have a film arm, a fact I didn't realise until reading that very interesting article on DTD films over at Den Of Geek.  They churn out no-frills bang-bang shooty-shooty films that have a simple, entertaining intent, no going for depth or subtlety here.

http://www.denofgeek.com/movies/straight-to-dvd/31901/the-top-25-underappreciated-straight-to-dvd-films

I'm not going into a long description of either studio or films for the very good reason that I've not seen any of them, so I may try to indulge in a little thick-ear film scouting this weekend.  I'll get back to you on that. Meanwhile -

"I got Conrad in my sights, Sarge.  Do I take him out?"
"Nah.  His hide's too thick.  Call in an airstrike."

Flaming June
It must be Glastonbury, because it's raining.  Or, when Conrad was walking to the bus stop, torrenting.
     Conrad can now negotiate his way to the Electric Goldfish Bowl of a morning, unencumbered by a rime of villainous-looking backpackers, taking up the pavement on Miller Street like scum on a shoreline, since Glasto has started and they've all gone off there.

Flaming June Whitfield?

     Now, normally Conrad wouldn't bother one iota* about what happens off in a muddy field in Somerset, except that this year Public Service Broadcasting are playing and he hopes they do well.  Also, the Pavlou** sisters are in attendance and Conrad wishes them a dry, hopefully even sunny, event.

Possibly not quite the right kind of sun ...

Superheroes With Their Pants Down
Brian, I promise not to do a parody of anyone from "Powers"!  Trust me on this***.
     I know what you're thinking^, "Why not "Supervillains"?"  Well, because superheroes operate with a moral compass, and accept that their actions have consequences, and seek to protect the greater public.  Supervillains, on the other hand, are bottom-dwellers, bottom-feeders, bottom-burps^^who don't give a fig about you, me or poor old Poskrebyshev and who simply don't care.
     Anyway, today I decided to focus on the X-Men, and Iceman in particular.

Someone's been at the cooking sherry ....

     This is Robert "Bobby" Drake, who as you can see is able to manipulate water and render it into ice; he can also turn himself into ice, and rather worryingly the only clothing he seems to wear when iced-up is a pair of boots.
     Think of the children!
     Okay, let us think logically and imagine that Bobby is all iced-up, just waiting for a minor villain to attempt bank robbery or grand theft auto.  What does he need to beware of?

Being mistaken for the world's biggest Cornetto?

     1)  Avoid running into things.  Given that he's solid ice, he might well shatter into bits, or have a limb fall off, and you can bet stand-up comedians would mercilessly lampoon his being "cracked".
     2)  This is a no-brainer - heat.  Bobby and the Human Torch can never be friends.
     3)  Less obviously, precipitation.  A shower of rain - or a vertical river as experienced by your humble scribe today - would immediately freeze on his exposed surfaces and instantly convert him into an immobile obesity.
     4)     Fast foods, and chips^^^ especially.  Why?  Because of the high salt content.  Ice and salt, join the dots ...
     5)  Cocktail parties.  Because the temptation to the intoxicated partygoer with a pink gin and an icepick would be irresistible ...

How did the Comics Code ever pass this?

* Greek idiom for "very small indeed"
** Greek surname.  Do you see what - o you do.
*** I had my fingers crossed.  Tee hee!
^ Only metaphorically, but give it ten years and see what DARPA creates ...
^^ Get the delicately-nuanced theme here?
^^^ Go on, you can call them fries if you want to.