Although it is probably Buckethead's finest moment, with him being hilariously concerned about his pies in the oven getting overcooked whilst he's being held hostage. Don't laugh, every good cook worries about their pies. Talking of cooking, one wonders who was responsible for baking the cake that a topless Erika Eleniak jumps out of? Art!
NO THAT'S ALL YOU GET YOU SLOBBERING PERVERTS! as if we'd stoo
ANYWAY back to sieges. Allow me to wheel on the Collins Concise description of same: "The offensive operations carried out to capture a fortified place by surrounding it and deploying weapons against it."
As mentioned briefly in today's earlier blog, sieges were a very common military activity, from ancient times and right up to the present day, the name 'Mariupol' may ring a bell thanks to the three months it was besieged for, and the Roman buffs amongst you may be familiar with 'Alesia'. Art!
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| Alesia* |
I believe BOOJUM! has gone into the history of siege warfare and how it can be broadly divided into pre- and post-gunpowder eras. Whether we've gone into why there were so many sieges is another matter. You see, a fortified position held by a garrison couldn't simply be ignored, nor masked with a small force, by any army venturing onto enemy territory. Art!
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| Dutch star fort |
If you left an occupied enemy castle behind your line of advance, then the garrison might well come out and attack your supply convoys, or even mount an attack on your main force from the rear, hitting the vulnerable encampments and baggage train first. If you merely left a small force to keep watch, they risked being overwhelmed by the garrison in a sally. Art!
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| Bir Hakeim 1942 |
One of the reasons that the nation of Holland exists is because, when they revolted at being the Spanish Netherlands, the Spanish armies had to conduct endless sieges to advance anywhere and conquer Dutch territory. Sieges are notoriously slow processes, and the odds are not as heavily stacked against the defenders as you may imagine, especially as you go further back in time. Art!
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| Harfleur 1415 |
Food was one vital item that both sides required. The city or castle under siege might well have earlier denuded the surrounding lands of food in order to fill their own larders, meaning the besiegers went hungry.
Disease also played a major part in sieges before sanitation was recognised as a vital component of military comportment. Large numbers of men in close proximity with primitive latrine arrangements was a recipe for dysentery and cholera, especially in summer.
Desertion in the besiegers was an ever-present threat; those under siege had about 0% chance of managing it, whereas the army camped around their walls would always experience a certain amount of desertion, as reluctant levies skulked back home. Shortage of food, rampant disease, lack of progress and the miseries of being out in the cold, wet, muddy fields did a number on morale, which again would cause desertion rates to increase. Art!
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| Calais under siege 1346 |
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| Calais under siege 1940 |
There you go, a fairly generic account of sieges. Tomorrow we may cover why the sieges of both Tobruk and Leningrad were different from other sieges. And NO YOU WILL NOT GET PICTURES OF ERIKA ELENIAK JUMPING OUT OF THAT CAKE! Just so we're clear.
Stinky Pup Gets Washed Up
Of late, I have noticed Edna is reeking somewhat, and if Conrad, who has about 0.5% of a normal Hom. Sap.'s olofactory capacity, notices this, then she must be a stagnant little rascal indeed. As an example, she covets my Comfy Chair and sits in it whenever possible, meaning that the cardigan lying there now smells of Sweaty Dog.
I determined that this had to end. Art!
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| Before |
It went rather smoother than I imagined. I was clad in tee-shirt, shorts and Skechers, the better to avoid spoiling good clothes, and Edna walked resignedly into the shower (thanks Degsy!). A bit of water, shampoo and lather later and she was out again, not being terribly fussed. The Bacon Bite treats might have helped there. Art!
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| After |
The process was not wholly successful, as there is still a distinct whiff of Sweaty Dog when in close proximity, yet it is moderated by the shampoo's perfume and is overall a lot less ghastly than it used to be.
"Psychokinesis"
I have mentioned this South Korean film already, and have just watched it to completion. You could describe it as an action-comedy with a touch of sci-fi or fantasy. Art!
It could have been the pilot for a television series, because there are a whole host of loose ends not tied up**. Perhaps Netflix will pay attention to BOOJUM! as they so surely ought to, and pitch a series?
One of the more amusing things is that Mr Shin, the titular psychokineticist, has absolutely no experience or training in flying, so when he attempts to cross Seoul at breakneck speed to help his daughter, he causes accidental havoc. Hey, even Supes had to begin somewhere, right?
"City In The Sky"
Things aboard Arcology One are beginning to heat up, metaphorically, as the inhabitant's quasi-police force, The Wardens, gets involved.
So: destroying any attempt by the
Australians to create technology derived from or with electrical devices. That smacked of trying to keep them firmly in
the mid-nineteenth century – which would make sense if these hypothetical
aliens feared being threatened by technology.
The idea of “Death Sats” didn’t get past the first sceptical analysis,
because the American’s
If Doctor Smith was correct, he and Alex were in danger. Attempting to reveal the truth meant alerting
the aliens – except how would they know of events in a human township? Presumably the aliens were horrible,
green-skinned, multiple-eyed and not able to blend in with their victims.
He sighed. This isolation in
orbit was a trial and a torment. They
couldn’t advise or help either of the pair Downstairs. And the Doctor had bragged about how
intelligent he was!
‘Young lady – Ace,’ he asked, slowly, a sense of suspicious curiosity
springing to his mind and tongue. ‘I
find it strange that your friend has gone back to Earth and left you completely
isolated up here.’
Ah yes, how to annoy Ace in one easy step: 'Young Lady'
Blimey
Your Humble Scribe is going to have to put on the television and turn it up loud, as there are an inordinate number of fireworks going off in the distance - don't want Edna worried or anxious****. This may be people celebrating Bonfire Night a week late or fifty-one weeks early, or it may be hugely misplaced 'celebrations' to do with Armistice Day.
Today, at 11:11 on 11/11/1918, the guns fell silent on one of the most appallingly bloody conflicts in human history, and you commemorate it because you certainly don't celebrate it. Art!
One of Conrad's citric suggestions for British Prime Ministers is that, upon being elected, one of their tasks should be to visit all the Commonwealth War Graves Commissions sites in France and Flanders, to understand that, if they get it wrong, this is the end result.
Finally -
Got to run, I have a Japanese zombie horror-comedy to finish watching. Later!
* Not to be confused with The Comsat Angels track.
** Did anyone else get superpowers from the contaminated spring water? What happened to the sinister corporation aiming to buy up his daughter's shop? Did the gut-punched Senior Minion survive? Was there political fallout from the police assault on the condemned precinct? And so on***.
*** Of course, it might just be me.
**** Conrad the Big Hard Man, hmmm?
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