NO! Not That Kind Of Perverse
Get your minds out of the sewer you disgusting per- you disgusting reprobates. What kind of perverse am I talking about? O I thought you'd never ask!
Okay, extensive research <thirty seconds on Google - the horrid truth courtesy Mister Hand!> YES THANK YOU, treacherous appendage. If only I wasn't so attached to him.
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| What Mister Hand imagines he looks like |
Where were we?
O yes. Which countries have the strongest and best-performing economies today? Naturally, South Canada is up there at the top. The Populous Dictatorship is looking a bit too green around the gills to be included here. The Teutons and Nippons are also up there with booming, vibrant economies. Art!
So, to celebrate being perverse, let us instead look at another economy, one that is verily in the toilet - excuse the technical terms - come on down Ruffia!
So, this Intro is based on a recent vlog by the ever-excellent Joe Blogs, whom I may link to if I feel like it. Reading the blog is quicker than watching him anyway so you are actually being time-critical perusing BOOJUM! Art!
Joe is back fronting his own videos, rather than narrating over a library of stock images. Generally, the cheerier and more enthusiastic Joe's greeting is, the more doom-laden and apocalyptic the news is; if he ever comes on wearing a party hat and waving a sparkler, Planet Earth is doomed.
I will begin by stating what Joe waited to explain, and that's the source of his data. He consistently gets Krembots and fanbois and trolls accusing him of making the figures up, being a paid CIA shill and also working for the Jews, the Freemasons, ISIS, MI5, the Illuminati and the Pope. Simultaneously. Really, if he was on a retainer from each of them he'd not need to work at all, sin
ANYWAY the figures are from OFFICIAL RUFFIAN MINISTRY OF FINANCE DATA. They are no longer as complete as they used to be, as the Ruffians like hiding information just out of habit, but what Joe does is put them into spreadsheets and create graphs from them. Art!
Not, frankly, enthralling stuff
In a preçis Joe pointed out that Ruffian oil and gas revenue had dropped by 65%, whilst expenditure had climbed by 35% - although only by about 3.5% in real terms when all the embezzlement, fraud, skimming and outright theft is taken into account. Art!
Oil and gas revenue
Grey is 2021, orange is 2022 and blue is 2023. As is clearly visible, Ruffian energy revenues have taken a huge hit. In year-to-October figures, from 20.4 trillion rubles in 2021, to 9.7 trillion in 2022, to 7.2 trillion in 2023. So much for 'pivoting to sell to China and India' hmmmm Dimya? Art!
This one is a bit of a mystery, as the MoF don't give a breakdown of what 'Non-Oil & Gas Revenue' actually is. Joe speculated that it may be associated with increased military production. The Commenters were less charitable and nearly all considered there is considerable kitchen catering causation in play here. Art!
I've missed out the 'Total Revenue' chart, it was boring. As you can see, Expenditure has ballooned, from ₽18 trillion in 2021, to ₽21.8 trillion in 2022, to ₽24.3 trillion in 2023. If the expenditure for 2023 follows the pattern of previous years, it's going to hit ₽40 trillion by the end of this year. Erk. Art!
The figures for November and December that come out in January will be interesting and probably frightening for Ruffian economists, as the previous two years have shown a sharp drop in totals. Already for 2023 that's an accumulated deficit of ₽22.82 trillion rubles, which is being bridged with monies from the National Wealth Fund. Thing is, the NWF is a finite resource that was down to a quarter of it's pre-war total in January of this year. How much remains is open to speculation, as the Ruffians lie about it, but if you start to see Ruffian economists buying one-way tickets to Turkey or Georgia then you know it's run out.
And - this is all going according to plan? Pull the other one, it has a symphony orchestra on it.
Conrad Invites Comments
I picked out a pair of items from the 'Newsweek' feed about Ruffians not selling at the Dubai Air Show, and I append them here for your entertainment and education. Art!
I have absolutely no idea what the red MacGuffins are, except to note that they seem spring-loaded. Handy-dandy jar lid removers? The other item appears to be a pair of French lace knickers on first viewing, but then resolves into a variety of decorated headband. Doubtless very very expensive, as things that look like lingerie seem to get more costly the less of them there is.
Kitchen Kitsch Dish
Methinks they had an overall total to hit in terms of derided appliances, because some of them are eminently sensible and functional. Some, on the other hand, and both feet as well, are truly pointless. Art!
$25? I wouldn't give you 25 cents for this stupid gimmick. Conrad uses a pair of scissors to cut pizza, anyway. Although ...
"City In The Sky"
The Doctor is back safe and sound, having possibly been tracked to the destroyed village of Forrest by someone not intent on becoming his new best friend.
Bowing politely, the Doctor asked if he could join them.
‘I’ll say!’ laughed a lean, bronzed woman, clad in denim and with a
slouch hat in her lap. ‘You’re the
reason we’re here.’ She indicated
Alex. ‘Alex here’s been telling us about
life up in the Stars. Seems you got a
few problems, eh?’
‘Yes indeed,’ replied the Doctor.
‘As have you all.’
This was taken to mean the Death-Sats, to much nodding and pulling of
long faces.
‘I have important news for you coast people. I shall be making a statement tomorrow
evening in the main town hall, and should like you to be there.’
‘Why not tell us now?’ asked an Asian man, prematurely bald, fanning
himself with another of the ubiquitous slouch hats.
‘We need to wait for the others to join us. Not only that, I have ridden a long way and
need to find somewhere to stay the night, as does Alex.’
‘I can help you with that,’ said Mike, picking an appropriate time to
return, slapping the Timelord on the shoulder.
‘Come inside.’
The interior had oil-fired lanterns that flattered the plain wooden
building, and a great robust desk that seated a small blond woman.
‘
I don't think there's any risk of that. Not unless you stock Bollinger.
Not Letting Up On The Kicking
Yes, let us ladle even more opprobrium over "The Marvels" because I can. Art!
I've also looked at the International figures and found that it only performed in Perfidious Albion and China. You can't even say 'performed well'.
Oooops.
Do you want to see what a successful film does in terms of business? Art!
One supposes that the difference is that GOTG was a film people wanted to see. Cheesy Larson and pals - not so much. "But 'Captain Marvel' made a billion dollars!" I hear you cry. Conrad hasn't seen it and feels that his world is not any poorer for this deficiency; others who have claimed that it was only successful because it was bookended between two other Marvel Cinematic Universe films and publicity had it that one needed to see CM to make sense of either. This was a big fat lie! as from what I remember Cheesy is in "Endgame" for all of ten seconds. Hence anyone who went to see CM may well have been extremely wary of getting stung a second time.
Bring on more popcorn!
Finally -
I have assembled the old ice cream maker and ensured it works, plus it got a bit of a clean - sitting in a cupboard for six years can render one a tad grubby. Now to conquer the world! - well, after trying to make ice cream again. Wish me luck.
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