We Have A Theme For This Intro
Hurrah! It might have been long enough for the whole blog back in the days when it only amounted to 750 words. Not today, when you might have to work your way through twice that many WHICH IS A GOOD THING.
Okay, we shall start small, and if I can prod Art into wakefulness with this handy electric toasting-fork -
Here you go. Your Humble Scribe cannot tell you what it tastes like as I am not mad keen on chocolate confectionery, and there's that thing about collapsing into a diabetic coma were I to indulge. It was introduced into This Sceptred Isle in 1985 - remember that date - and has been around in Boost Guarana and Boost Duo and Boost Glucose, with various fillings of coconut, biscuit and peanut.
Moving on to matters of slightly greater size, we have the following. Art!
This is one of those carbonated pep-swill drinks hotching with chemicals and to prove my point -
Carbonated Water, Sugar, Glucose-Fructose Syrup, Acid (Citric Acid), Taurine (0.4%), Flavourings, Caffeine (0.03%), Sweeteners (Aspartame, Acesulfame K), Colours (Sulphite Ammonia Caramel, Riboflavin), Acidity Regulator (Sodium Citrate), Inositol, Preservative (Sodium Benzoate), Vitamins (Niacin, Pantothenic Acid,
There's also a protein shake from Nestlé that's too dull to go into. Art!
This is 'Booster Gold', a.k.a. Michael Jon Carter, a character introduced by DC in <drum roll, cymbal crash> 1985. Not saying anyone pinched a title from anyone else, just that it's a bit iffy as regards timing.
I know, I know, you're sitting there thinking he's just another big dumb superhero with all those well-defined muscles, a profile chiselled out of granite and pearly choppers. Well actually no. He was a big cheese in 25th century sport, until he got caught throwing matches for money. They don't approve of that in the 25th century any more than they do the 21st, and he got slung in pokey. On release he could only get a job as a security guard at a science museum.
A dangerous combination. He stole a ton of super-powered gear, plus a security robot ('Skeets', in the background above), then jumped back in time to become a 21st century superhero. Art!
With the singular character flaw or virtue, depending on how you see it, of always being ready to shill products for money. Conrad thinks this is the South Canadian business ethos writ large; after all, how else can he earn money? Supes and Batman get a bit sniffy about this; well Bruce inherited his money and Kel Al has a paying day job. Art!
Yes, it's our old friend the Nike Hercules from yesteryon. I was just mucking about trying to emphasise it and Hey Pesto! managed to rotate and highlight the booster section. This is actually 4 booster rockets strapped together, intended to get the business part of the missile to height and speed for an interception. Art!
This one really dates me. It's a barely-animated cartoon that used to crop up on "Blue Peter" waaaay back in the Sixties and Seventies. Bleep is the frankly cyborgish alien to port, whilst Booster is the human to starboard. Apparently in the far future opthamologists cannot correct defective human eyesight.
ANYWAY I would like to finish with another boosted artefact, that being the W-31 nuclear warhead as carried by the Nikey Herky SIT BACK DOWN! this is interesting. Art!
This puppy was not simply a fission warhead - one where the explosive yield is caused by atoms splitting apart - but a boosted warhead. That is, it got a bit fusion-y whilst detonating, resulting in an increased yield. Art!
The critical bit here is the Deuterium and Tritium gas, made out of hydrogen isotopes. The 'Explosive Lenses' will be detonated, and compress the Uranium and Plutonium into a critical mass, at the centre of which are the gasses. They undergo fusion, releasing neutrons, lots of neutrons, scads of neutrons, and this neutron 'flux' causes the fissile materials to burn at a far higher rate. Why is this important? Because it allows the 'burn' to be more efficient and consume more of the plutonium and uranium before the whole thing vapourises, thus - you may be ahead of me here - boosting the yield.
There's more I could say about this, but I have an uneasy feeling that not only UNIT and Spectrum, but MI5 and the CIA might be casting eyes over BOOJUM! at this point.
Which is at about the word count of an old, old BOOJUM! and where we came in.
I Just Had To Share
As you might be aware, the Scandinavians eat lots of fish. There is an infamous Norwegian dish called "Lutefisk" which is white fish pickled in lye - a.k.a. sodium hydroxide - that has to be extensively rinsed before eating, and which apparently tastes like fish-flavoured rubber jelly. Art!
This is the Swedish equivalent: fermented herring. Here we see the grateful reaction of three Ukrainian soldiers opening up a tin from a box of these supplied as international aid from Sweden. Art!
The tin is opened Brave warrior #2 after eating a morsel
You know Conrad, this only makes him curiouser and curiouser.
Now, if you think the above is bad, wait until we discuss Icelandic fish dishes.
Stop Being Absurd!
Another from that list of kitchen kit that is either completely redundant, or ridiculously expensive, or both (£1,200 for a 'Pancake Printer', egad!). Conrad had lived his entire life in ignorance that these things existed as below. Art!
What on earth? A cookie dipper? ARE YOU MAD! For starters, dipping a cookie, or as they are correctly known, a 'biscuit', into a glass of milk is an heinous act in and of itself. One can comprehend being dipped into a cup of tea or coffee - within limits, I would shoot you before I'd let you sully my Margaret's Hope Plantation First Flush Darjeeling this way - as this would complement the flavour. Not milk.
What's wrong with using your fingers? You have eight of them and two mutually-opposable thumbs that cost nothing to use.
Bah!
"City In The Sky"
Alex, the recently-landed denizen of Arcology One in orbit, is looking distinctly ill after a couple of days on terra firma.
‘Hey, he brought the mare back intact,’ replied Mike amidst the chatter
of everyone around them.
‘Please! If you want information,
I shall inform you. Eight o’clock in the town hall tonight. I trust that will be okay, Mayor
Kenneally? Thank you. Meanwhile I have a sick colleague to see to.’
‘’S jus’ a fever,’ mumbled Alex, feeling even worse than he had a short
while ago. Sweat stood out on his
brow. His shoulders sagged. His eyes were an aching bloodshot red.
‘Look you, the lad’s sick,’ pointed out one of the coasters.
‘Get him to the doctor,’ added another, backing off.
‘I am the Doctor – oh, sorry,
I see. The apothecary, the phlebotomist,
the sawbones. Don, does New Eucla have a
doctor of medicine?’
Growling with ill-grace, Don directed them three streets over and one
across, before gesturing to the crowd accompanying him.
‘Come on, come on you lot, and you, too Ben. The township will pay for your overnight
board, but without alcohol. You want
beer, you pay for it …’
His voice faded away when they turned the corner, Mike still with them
to the Doctor’s surprise.
‘I need to see to Alex,’ he began, trying to lay out a claim to the
young engineer.
The open, honest features of the town’s Assistant Mayor clouded with
worry.
‘Maybe you can, Doctor Smith, but what I’m worried about is whether he’s
brought down any strange alien diseases to
To both human’s surprise, the Doctor burst out laughing.
How callous of him!
Hey!
There I was, gurgling with sinister good humour, thinking I had a real chance to bamboozle "Antiwordle" and - Art?
It's in MY dictionary, thank you very much. I even quoted the definition a week or so ago. Colour me unamused.
More Of Tunnels
Have you ever heard of "Hobby Tunnelling"? Me neither. Not until I read the conclusion to a story on Reddit about a gal worried about her Significant Other, who spent all his time on a piece of land he'd inherited, tunnelling. Tunnel, tunnel, tunnel. He spent all his spare time there, tunnelling, which made her feel abandoned and worried about his state of mind.
There's no dramatic resolution; after requesting advice she took it, sat him down and had it out - gently - that she was concerned about his tunnelling and how he was <ahem> undermining their relationship. He agreed to cut back and spend more time with her.
Still - hobby tunnelling? Art!
No thanks
Finally -
That's all!
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